Title: The Day John Discovered Fart.
Summary: The day John discovered fart.
Characters: John, Elizabeth McKay & Chuck
Pairing: None
Rating: K
Notes: After reading JM's blog, I couldn't resist.
"Elizabeth," John demanded as he entered her office, slapping down the manila folder she had one of the burliest marines deliver to him. "No."
She looked up to him and raised her eyebrow and John could see the edges of her lips twisting up into a crooked – wicked – smile as she eyed the folder on her desk. She slid the folder through the few ornaments on her work space with her index finger, looking away from John as her smile threatened to take over.
"What?" She asked innocently and John narrowed his eyes at the mocking tone in her voice.
"We've been Atlantis Team One since we got here. The name suits us fine. Why mess with a system that works?" He whined slightly and he scrunched his face up as he reminded himself of McKay.
She looked up to him and pursed her lips, her own eyes narrowing. John returned her stare, immovable and she finally sat back, sighing as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"It's an IOA directive," she said with a shrug as though it was the most natural thing in the world. He growled slightly in the back of his throat as he reached over the desk and retrieved the file, perching himself on the edge of her desk. "John, what...?" She began but stopped when he began narrating.
"...shall be named in order as Atlantis Reconnaissance Team." He looked up to her as he finished, daring her to laugh. "I am not calling my team that." He could see her attempting to hold back her smile. "And I think Major Atkins will have a problem with that as well."
She frowned.
"Major Atkins?"
"Yeah," he said as he nodded. "Atlantis Team Four."
"You know," she said in her best diplomatic tone but John was adamant he would not be drawn in by it, "you don't refer to your team as Atlantis Team One except in reports. All you have to do is write it out."
He scrunched his face up in disgust at that.
"Acronyms were invented for use by the military." She raised an amused eyebrow at that. "Think about it; NASA, USAF, CIA, SG-1." He narrowed his eyes at her as she snorted slightly, her laugh disappearing into a small burst of coughs. "You know what the acronym of this is, don't you?" She looked to him with a mask of seriousness but John could see the humour lurking beneath the surface. "FART. FART, Elizabeth." She laughed loudly at that and from the corner of his eye, John could see Chuck in the control room turning towards them. "I will not be in a team called FART."
Once her laughter subsided, she looked up to him with the most serious face she could conjure and John sighed.
"I'm sorry John." But John knew she wasn't sorry. "From now on, your team will be known as FART."
He paused for a moment before rising from her desk and marching from her office in a blur of black and grey, before tossing over his shoulder;
"Just you wait until McKay hears about this!"