Author's Note:
Jynxie: I'm a sick, twisted person.
Muse: Yes, yes you are. (sighs) This so has to be against some type of religion…
Jynxie: Honestly, I was just watching one little stoner-based movie and the idea just popped into my head! I couldn't help it! I had to write it down! And, so I figured that I'd actually give a small plot to it, and think that this is why the people of Haven kicked Jak out like a bunch of idiots.
Muse: (shakes head) This is so wrong…
Jynxie: Eh…(turns to reviewers) Now, remember kiddies: Drugs are bad, and many characters are just under its influence. So, you may either ignore, laugh, or just plain run to a church because of their random behavior.
Muse: (cries) We are so getting sued!
Jynxie: Look on the bright side…we--uh…finally have written a story that people have an excuse to flame!
Muse: (gives Jynxie an incredulous look) And that's the bright side?
Jynxie: Uh…well…um…(quickly turns to viewers) ENJOY!
Muse: Hey! Jynxie, don't ignore me!
Jynxie: Sorry, can't hear you…(turns up TV, which is showing a very morally wrong movie)
Disclaimer: Heh, I like never write one of these…It's so weird…Anyway, no shirtless Jak…so, come on, like I'd be the one owning the game and the characters.
Summary: HIPPIES HAVE INVADED! Well…their merchandise has anyway. My take on why the Haven people were being such idiots in casting our favorite hero out. 'Cause they would have had to be on something to come to that decision…
Those Hazy Days
Chapter 1
"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Ashelin's voice rang throughout the entire board room. Glass shook, puppies cowered, Torn was smart and high tailed it before the rampaging red head even had a chance to make it to the Headquarters (He was trained to sense life threatening danger, after all.), and birds ran into random objects. The young governess was obviously in a very unreasonable mood. Or to be bland, Ashelin Praxis was an extremely pissed off lady.
A small, cowardice squeak answered her, from an even smaller and more cowardice man, "Well…you s-see, ma'am, the--the--uh…the Freedom League soldiers…didn't--eh…exactly know what…the garden--er, fields were growing, and I'm sure that if they did--um…they wouldn't have took a smoking break near it…Please, ma'am, it was an honest mistake--"
"YOU MEAN A COMPLETELY IDIOTIC, MORNIC, STUPID, AND EVERY OTHER WORD THAT CAN DESCRIBE A DUMBASS MOVE, MISTAKE!"
The terrified specialist let out an extremely nervous laugh, "Heh, o-or that…"
"AND ARE YOU SURE THAT WEAK LITTLE CIGARETTES ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT THEY WERE SMOKIN'?"
The man looked as if he were about to cry.
"N-no…" he answered truthfully, looking down at his feet, "but I--eh, doubt that trained soldiers would have….you know, done something like that…"
Ashelin wasn't convinced, but she took a much needed deep breath. She really needed something to calm her nerves…something other that the mentally dangerous fumes, the ones that she was quite sure were already floating their way throughout the city.
"Where's Jak?" She asked in the most neutral voice she could muster.
The man looked up, surprised, "You really…um, think that he could help with this?"
Ashelin shook her head, rubbing her temples with trembling hands, "No…just…I want to know how long until…the stuff reaches him…"
"Why?"
The governess glanced nervously down at her communicator, knowing damn well that it wouldn't help to warn him with it, or any of Haven for that matter. The stuff would get to him and her citizens no matter where they went. But still…it was her job to give some warning.
Damn…if only we had found those people earlier…before their cursed harvest time…
"Because…that man's dangerous with a gun…without a boost…so imagine what he'd be like with one…" she shook her head sighing, "Especially with an influence like Daxter around him…"
The man's eyes widened, and his heart rate visibly increased. Haven City was officially screwed.
Jak groaned for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. Keira had promised him. She had promised him, heartfelt and honestly, that they could practice on the tracks today. He couldn't have stressed to her enough how much he wanted to test out the mechanic girl's new racing model so that he could master it by the time the season started. That, and how he also really, really wanted to see how much faster the vehicle could go.
"Don't be such a baby…Now, I know how attached you are to zoomers, but honestly these repairs will only take a second, I promise…" is what she said an HOUR ago. Another one of the horribly vicious woman's promises broken!
Of course he would never really think of Keira as a horribly vicious woman, but he really needed to try out that damn zoomer! Ever since his defeat of Kor, to say that things had been boring would have been the biggest understatement ever made in his lifetime! Sure the people glaring at him and him telling them to kiss his ass, and the whole war of the Metal Heads getting fiercer brought some drama, but god! He needed something to happen!
Sure, it sounded cruel and unnatural, but he mind was one a one way track ever since his encounter with dark eco. He needed SOMETHING! After all, shooting Metal Heads and shouting profanities got boring after while…
So then his, what he thought at the time she TOLD him, wonderful and beautiful girlfriend told him of an opportunity she had open for him: To test out her newest upgrade for the racing model of the zoomer. So, of course, thinking that it would give him something to do other than chasing down things with his gun, he happily agreed.
Oh, but how wrong he was…once Daxter and him arrived she had on an almost too sweet and innocent looking smile. And so here he was an hour later, hovering over his girlfriend who was busy-at-work under an old zoomer and letting out random whines and groans that she all but ignored.
"Are you done yet?"
"No," she answered simply.
"But--"
"It has to be done, Jak…the deadlines today."
"Yeah, but--"
"BE QUIET, JAK!"
The said man twitched and went to sit up on one of Keira's work benches, one that gave him a perfect view of the mechanic woman.
"You said--" he tried again.
"I know, but I completely forgot about the deadline today, so deal!"
"Meh, meh, meh…deadline my ass--" Jak mumbled, irritated.
"What was that?" Keira questioned in a warning tone.
"Nothing!" He hissed, letting out an exasperated sigh and glancing over at his small, furry friend who had fallen asleep inside one of the few broken zoomers around the garage over a half hour ago.
"Damn rat…leaving me with Satan to dream away about god knows what…" he crossed his arms childishly and leaned back, somewhat disappointed that Keira either ignored or didn't hear his comment.
"Mmm…gushy-wushy…dooby-kins…take off your shirt!" Jak raised an eyebrow at his friends ramblings, mentally stating that he didn't even want to know.
This all was just too boring…
"Keira--"
"No!"
"You don't even know what I was going to say!"
"Yes, I do!"
"Oh, yeah…what?"
"That--"
Daxter's loud scream cut them off as he shot up, suddenly wide awake, and ran to the entrance of the garage. Keira let out a yelp as she hit her head from surprise on the bottom of the zoomer she had been fixing, while Jak just stared at the disgruntled Ottsel.
"WHAT THE HECK?" Keira shouted, crawling out from under her work and rubbing her forehead.
"What's wrong, Dax?" Jak asked, hopping down from the bench.
Daxter didn't answer only sniffed the air like a hungry blood-driven animal.
"Dax?" Jak called, nervously approaching his friend.
"That…That smell…" Daxter cooed, drooling, "What is it?"
"Smell? What smell?" Keira asked, now sporting an unattractive red blotch on her face.
"Maybe his animal senses are picking up something?" Jak stated off-handedly, completely ignoring Keira's bruise.
"Like what? He's slobbering all over my floor like a hungry Metal Head!"
The hero shrugged and took a few steps closer. "Dax?"
"Don't you smell it, Jak?" Daxter cackled.
Wait…cackled? Why the hell's he cackling?
"Dude, what are you talking about?" He wanted to laugh at his friend's funny behavior, but found himself worrying too much about Daxter's mental stability instead.
"Is he on something, Jak?" Keira demanded, obviously very upset with the Ottsel's antics.
"Umm…" What? Was he supposed to know? "Sure?"
"Jak!"
The said man scoffed, "I don't know what's wrong with him, Keira."
"But--"
"Your forehead's swelling," he cut in, glancing a little too hard at his girlfriend's face.
Keira let out a sudden shriek and dived behind her old, green curtain. Jak just grinned triumphantly, turning back to his friend.
"Just because you're upset with me doesn't give you the right to be mean, Jak!" Keira hissed.
"I wasn't being mean, I was being informative," he said matter-of-factly, not taking his eyes off his now hysterically laughing friend.
"Come on, Jakky boy! Let's go get it!" Daxter exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down and pointing outside.
Jak raised an eyebrow at the nickname, "Get…what?"
"The smell!" Daxter stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You can't get a smell," Jak pondered scratching at the back of his head.
"Ooo, yes, yes, yes you CAN!" He was cackling again, only it seemed to of caught a creepy edge.
"Uh…Dax? What are you on abo--"
And that was when he caught it. A very odd smell that reminded him a little of the Bazaar area. Only this one was much, much stronger.
"Jak…what is that?" Keira asked, poking her now foundation covered face out from behind the curtain, obviously having smelled it too.
"I don't…" Why did he feel strange all of a sudden? Like he just wanted to jump up and down and hug the person closest to him? "Uh--I don't…know…"
In all honesty, the smell wasn't even that great. It smelled like cigarette smoke, only different…deeper…And it was making his head feel very fuzzy and light.
Very…very light…So light, in fact, that he could almost swear that he was seeing smoke clouds rushing into Keira's garage.
"Whoa…" he laughed, stumbling back a bit as Daxter became engulfed in the 'smoke', still cackling like a maniac.
This definitely couldn't be good.
"Haven Citizens," he barely heard Ashelin's voice echo throughout speakers surrounding the outside, "Do not be alarmed by the smoke, it is not deadly…to an extent. Just go inside your homes, cover any cracks leading outside, close all windows, and be sure not to inhale too much of the smoke. This matter…will blow over soon."
As soon as the message ended, Jak just cracked up laughing. He couldn't see; the smoke was everywhere…
"Jak…" Keira's tone sighed dreamily, causing Jak to laugh harder.
"Y-Yeah?" he giggled, actually giggled. Since when was Keira's voice so funny? The woman sounded hilarious!
"I…feel weird…" she mumbled, "And I can't see…"
"Whossa smokin'?" Jak snickered, stumbling forward.
"What?"
Jak shrugged, not even registering that she couldn't see him, and waved his hands in front of him to find his girlfriend. His very, very pretty girlfriend that he just wanted to hug…and possibly more!
But before he could find her, he caught a glimpse through the dark clouds of orange.
"Daxxie! Where ya goin'?" he practically floated over to his bestest buddy who was always there for him!
Daxter let out a string of giggles much like Jak's and pointed to, what Jak assumed, the exit to the outside.
"Let's get old greenie, Jakky boy! Let's, go, go, go, go! Muwahahahahaha!"
Jak grinned, "But we can't see…and Keira…" he glanced around for his said girlfriend, seeing nothing but the smoke.
"Don't worry, Jaky my friendly, I can see! Ohhhh, how I can see…such beautiful colors…" Daxter said, his voice laced with ecstasy.
"O…kay?" The hero mumbled, suddenly feeling really hot for some reason.
"I'll find the babe, buddy boy, don't worry!" Daxter stated, coming out of his daze, and pounded his chest, "Oh, Keiraaaaaaaa! Your wannabe lover is a-comin'!"
The ottsel ran off into the smoke, disappearing from Jak's sight. And a few seconds later Keira's blurry figure emerged, cradling Daxter in her arms.
"Oh, I never knew how soft and cuddly your fur was, Daxter!" She cooed, rubbing her fingers along his back.
"That's what all the woman say!" Daxter swooned, snuggling into Keira chest.
Jak turned up his nose, feeling annoyed (but still very inwardly happy). Why should Daxter get to be rubbed on by his girlfriend, and--Did Keira suddenly look like…tens times more attractive than what she did before?
"Hey…he's not that soft," he mumbled stepping closer to the giggling mechanic.
"Oh, yes he is!" Keira pouted, grabbing Jak's hand and placing it on his friend's head.
Jak blinked down at his hand, giving the fur an experimental tug. Oh, wow…Daxter was soft…Keira hadn't lied.
"Ooo…wow he is…" Jak laughed, spontaneously deciding to rub his cheek on the softness.
"See?" Keira grinned, patting Jak's head affectionately.
Daxter didn't seem to enjoy Jak's close proximity too much, though, and wiggled himself out of Keira's grasp and onto the floor. The two elves gave a whine of protest, but before they could snatch him up again, he ran off ahead, stopping just outside of Keira's garage.
"There shall be none of those such acts until Jak looks more like Tess!" He shrieked, and then blinked, "Now let's go find greenie, dammit! I wanna eat his bird! I'm suddenly…very hungry for it right now…"
The couple looked at each other for a few seconds, then out-right bolted after the blurry orange color of the ottsel as he darted outside. Who cared about the damn bird on Samos' head? They just wanted to rub that soft fur again…
Author's Note:
Jynxie: (listens to the crickets sounding) What? It wasn't that bad!
Muse: (cries) I'm going to be robbed of what little money I have!
Jynxie: (blinks) But…you don't have any money…
Muse: (cries louder)
Jynxie: (sighs, annoyed, then turns to the viewers grinning) Okay, people! Now this is just a very short, extremely wrong fic. I'd say only about three chapters. I just needed a short break from my fic 'Her Fake Smiles'…Now, please…be kind…and remember that…I have feelings! Not many, mind you, but enough to know that they're there!
Muse: (crying and chanting) Sued, sued, sued!
Jynxie: (hisses) We aren't getting sued! (laughs nervously) Now, please, R 'n R and tell me what you think! 'Cause come next chapter we get to see Samos and Torn and Sig…and other random characters under the influence…And what'll Jak do to just push the people to want him the hell away from them? Don't you people wanna see that? Huh, huh, huh? So, yes…click the little button down there! Gon on, click! It will make you feel better about all the illegal happens going on in Haven.
Muse: (bawls) Some peeps goin' down, man!
Jynxie: (sighs)
Love, Peace,
Jynx 'N Muse