After President Snows visit to the house my life was changed forever. I only thought the games would be my ending, my death. But I was wrong. My ending would come from what and who I loved the most. Because I would die trying to protect them.
"I have a problem Ms. Everdeen. A problem that began the moment you revealed those poison berries in the arena. If our game maker, Senca Crane, had any sense at all. He would have blown you to bits then and there. But here you are and I expect you can guess where he is."
"After that fiasco there was nothing left to do. But to let you play out your little scenario. And you are very good at the whole love crazed school girl. I'm impressed truly. You convinced the people in the Capital. Unfortunately not everyone in the Districts fell for it. People viewed your little trick with the berries as an act of defiance. Not as an act of love. If a girl from District 12 from all places could defy the Capital and go unharmed. What is stopping them from doing the same? What is stopping an uprising? It can lead to a revolution. Then in a fraction of time the whole system collapse."
"You fought very hard in the games Ms. Everdeen. But they were just games. Would you like to be in a real war?"
President Snow was worried about a rebellion coming from the Districts. I was worried about my family, Peeta, Gale and their families. Because I knew Snow would carry out on his threat of killing them to keep me in line or to send a message of control. At that time war was coming to a head. I was just too blind to see it. Or maybe I wasn't smart enough to realize it yet.
We agreed to be honest with each other. Only Snow didn't really want honesty from me. If you spoke out against him or the Capital a public execution was in store for you. What he had in store for me was worse than death.
The victory tour Peeta and I went on fueled the fire in everyone. People in the Districts were starting to fight back. When we returned home I thought it was over but, it had just begun.
The announcement came from the Capital. I swear President Snow was smiling just at me. He was sending a message to all the Districts and especially for me.
"It was written in the charter of the games. Every twenty five years there would be a Quarter Quell. To keep the games fresh for each new generation. For the memory of those who died and as a reminder of the uprising against the Capital. Each Quarter Quell is distinguished by games with a significant meaning. And now on the 75th anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion. We celebrate the third Quarter Quell. It serves as a reminder. Even the strongest cannot overcome the power of the Capital. In this game the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors from each District."
They would still hold a reaping. But we all already knew I was going no matter what. I was the only female survivor from District 12. The worst part of it was. This could either be Peeta or Haymitch's ending as well. Because they would be the male tributes to be chosen from.
We were promised as the survivors our life would return to normal some day. It was all we had to do; tour once a year as the winners. Even be the mentors of the next chosen tribute and that was our role to play. But they changed the rules of the game to make sure we had to relive the nightmare once again. I still hadn't stopped living it from the game before yet.
Each time I closed my eyes death was all I ever saw. Even with my eyes open, blood surrounds me and consumed my soul. Mostly these days, it was my own death drawing closer. Because I was dying inside a little more each day. The game left me still breathing in air but, I was exhaling darkness around me.
Before my mother could have a complete breakdown in front of me, I ran out into the cold night air. I didn't care about a coat, hat or anything else for that matter.
"Haymitch."
"You're late Katniss. Did you finally do the math and come here to ask me to die?"
"What?"
"Peeta was here thirty minutes ago. Begging me to save your life over his own. You could live a thousand life times and never deserve that boy's love he has for you."
"You have to promise me. No matter what, Peeta is the one who lives. He has to be the survivor."
"I will do what I can."
"Promise me Haymitch."
"I will volunteer if they call his name. But I can't stop him from doing the same."
"Thank you. Peeta is going to be the winner."
"There are no winners of the game, only survivors."
Haymitch and I formed sort of a friendship through the last game. He and Peeta formed a stronger one. There wasn't a day that went by he didn't visit Haymitch and take care of him. Even when you are the winner of the game, you still lose. It leaves you a shell of a person. It left Haymitch a lonely drunk. It's how he dealt with being the one who made it out alive. While everyone is congratulating you; you never understand why. There was no way to justify in your mind or heart the lives you took.
I went in another direction after we returned. I tried to forget everything that went along with the game. I guess to some degree, even about them. I had put so much distance between me and Peeta. It was a short walk across the street from each other. But we were worlds apart as far as I was concerned.
The walk back to the house left me numb. It wasn't from the cold, it was from fear. Everyone thinks I'm so strong and not scarred of anything. I am scarred of everything.
"Katnip."
Gale had been out looking for me. Our relationship never went back to the same as it was before the game. He was so sweet and kind to me. I thought maybe one day we would take it to the next level. At this point I was only kidding myself. I was living in fear of everything and having love in my heart or giving love to someone was at the top of the list. Because I would end up hurting or losing them.
After he wrapped his coat around me, his arms followed. I always felt so safe when I was with him. No one could offer me that feeling again now but him. We had been together since we were small children. He was always my rock. There was no way he could ever understand what I went through or was still going through. But he never gave up on me or us. If I even tried to push him away, he held on to me tighter.
The house was warm inside when we walked in. But I couldn't quit shaking profusely. As a winner of the game, my family was given a beautiful home. We had more material things than ever before. I think it's just another way the Capital controls you and your every move.
"I'll make some tea Kat."
Gale was trying to take care of me like he always does. It was a sweet gesture but, tea wouldn't solve my problems or make me better.
"I have to see Peeta."
"Can't it wait until tomorrow?"
"No."
"Just admit it Katniss. You're in love with him."
"No I'm not. I told you it was all an act for us to stay alive."
"It's one hell of a convincing act. Like announcing him as your fiancée on the tour. Everyone still talks about the great star crossed lovers."
"Gale please don't do this. Not now."
"Then when, after you're gone again? Go to Peeta. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Gale wait."
"The scars on my back from the flogging can't compare to the way you can rip my heart apart with your actions. I'll see you tomorrow."
Haymitch always said I don't deserve Peeta's love, which I don't. But I don't Gale's either. It would have been better for everyone if I had eaten the poison berries in the arena and brought an end to this madness.
The lights were on and I was sure he couldn't sleep anymore than I could. I have never had a short distance take so long to get there. My feet felt like concrete anchors as I walked up the stairs. The light knock I made on the door was answered within seconds.
"Katniss."
"Peeta."
There was no need for us to say anything. We both knew what our destiny was. What was in front of us to face together. I broke down because Peeta does understand what I'm feeling and going through. Because he was feeling the same.
(XXXXXXXXXXXX)
It was such a beautiful day. The sun was warming where it hit the bare skin of our faces and arms. Gale and I sat on our favorite log in the place we always met. The forbidden land was out of the quadrant of our District. If the Peace Keepers knew we went outside the fence, we would be shot on sight.
There was only wire dividing District 12 from our hunting grounds. It was so much more than that. A fence had been built between us and it was my fault.
We could hear the Peace Keepers traveling down the road. They were here for the reaping. I only had an hour and I still had to get ready. After I gave him one last kiss, I left. With Gale I didn't want a long drawn out goodbye.
Mom waited outside for me to come home. She wanted me to dress up for this. I wasn't going to. There was no need for a big showing. I was going to be chosen today and taken away to kill others or be killed by them.
When I glanced at my sister setting on the bed, she appeared so mature, so grown up. It had only been a year ago we were doing this very same thing.
"I am going to have to come up with a new name for you Little Duck. You are growing up kiddo."
We sat beside each other on the bed in silence. I leaned my head on her shoulder and she was playing with my braid. Somewhere in my trying to get on with life I hadn't really noticed how much Prim had changed. I felt a tear on my face from her.
"Don't cry Prim. I'll be home before you know it."
"Things are different since last time. I can see it."
"What do you see?"
"Hope for the first time because of you Katniss."
If I could just believe there was hope. I don't see anything like Prim does. She was so innocent to the ways of the game and I pray she stays that way forever.
She held out her hand. It was my Mocking Jay pin. "It's your good luck charm. You can do it. Just come home."
"You know whatever I do comes back to you and Mom."
"You don't have to protect me anymore Katniss or Mom. We're with you. I had a dream you will win the game and change everything."
"Change what?"
Prim had a dream the last time that she was chosen in the reaping. It came true. Maybe she will be right now.
"History."
"My girls are so beautiful."
Mom hugged us both. She had changed a lot since the last game as well, we all had. They didn't knock they just let themselves in. The Peace Keepers were standing in the hallway and it was time for me to go.
They had a group of them surrounding Peeta and Haymitch in the street already. I joined them and we took a walk straight to hell for the reaping.
The Peace Keepers stopped at the steps. I went to the female side while they went to the males. Effie was waiting to draw the names of the tributes. There was a single piece of paper in the large glass bowl. With only one name to choose from, mine.
Effie gave me a half hearted smile before reaching her hand in the bowl. "The female tribute for the 75th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen."
Her voice was still ringing in my head of my name being said out loud as the tribute. She calmly walked over and chooses another name.
"The male tribute for the 75th Hunger Games, Haymitch Aberthany." Even Effie let out a sigh of relief it wasn't Petta's name drawn.
"I volunteer as tribute."
Haymitch tried to stop him. But it was too late, Peeta had already volunteered in his place. We were once again standing in the exact same spot as this time last year.
Mom and Prim's hand went up in the air first. The others followed them. Then mine and Peeta's three fingers were held up high. The Capital hates the gesture but, what were they going to do, kill us for it? The game should take care of that for them.
It was their way of saying thank you, a sign of admiration and to say goodbye to someone you love. It was seen mostly at funerals. It was our own funerals coming.
Commander was dragging me away. "I get to say goodbye."
"It's a new plan, straight to the train."
Prim's voice carried above anyone else's as she kept screaming my name. So I yelled it and I hoped she heard me "Goodbye."
The plush and luxurious seat on the train formed around my body. I had sat for hours looking out the window at the world passing by so quickly. They were talking around me and I hadn't comprehended a word of it.
Peeta sat in the seat beside me and took my hand. Again we didn't need to exchange words to know what the other was going through. And we didn't until Effie and Haymitch joined us.
"This game will be different. I want you to forget everything you think you know about the game. The last one was child's play. They all know each other and are experienced killers."
Haymitch had a crystal glass in one hand and a half drunken bottle in the other. This was nothing new. He was always drinking. I hated to tell him, if the last time was child's play, I stood no chance.
"The Capital has spared no expense. There is a new training center, new living quarters and of course a new arena. You will also have a personal trainer assigned to you. This year you will be facing other victors who are Capital favorites and very cunning."
With her legs crossed Effie balanced a saucer with a cup of hot coffee in her hand. She took small sips from it, always the perfect lady. She was stuck somewhere between her loyalty to the Capital and her like for us. She still leaned more towards the Capital.
"What do we need to do Haymitch?"
"You will need to make friends with the other tributes and have them as allies."
"Okay."
"You're not the problem Peeta. It's Katniss. They have known each other for years and you will need them to stay alive."
"Aren't I always the problem?"
"For the most part sweetheart, yes."
When the train stopped at the Capital we were greeted by a crowd of people. Peeta held out his hand and it was show time. We still had to keep up the facade of the happy lovers.
As we walked towards the training center people cheered. Others were chanting our names. Some held out their hands to touch us. The other tributes had arrived already. We didn't receive such a warm welcoming from them.
~~~~Tris~~~~
The tributes came in the training center one by one to meet their personal trainers. We were supposed to be showing them how to strengthen their weakness. How to use other weapons and survive the game. But President Snow had other plans for Katniss Everdeen. Which he assigned me to train her.
I watched her wander around the room and she wasn't really trying to make allies with the other tributes. She had more enemies that would be in the arena than she knew of. The cards were already stacked against her.
Out of the twenty two other tributes she only spoke to three of them. Then she stood alone. There wasn't many who wanted to approach her either. Most of them already hated the girl on fire. Some knew it was her fault they were here because of the uprising she started with in their Districts. Others were envious of her and the attention she got from the Capital. If they knew the truth; it was the wrong kind of attention to attract.
Peeta was different. He spoke to most of them and had a conversation with over half of the room. He was kind and gentle. His personality came through in so many ways. He also revealed his biggest weakness, Katniss. It was so obvious every time he looked at her. I didn't see it so much from her though. Were they really lovers? I would guess probably not. Snow was convinced they were not. But it was something he couldn't expose because it would make him and the Capital look foolish.
"Please report to your trainer. The last two hours will be spent with them. Good luck to each tribute. May the odd be forever in your favor."
The announcement came over the intercom. The odds were never in her favor. The game had already begun and she was playing even if she didn't know it.
"I'm Tris. The bow is your weapon of choice. I want to teach you how use some others."
"Okay."
We started by throwing knives. It was my weapon of choice. She didn't do too badly but, she wasn't comfortable with it.
"Open up your stance a little. As you let go, think of it like your bow. Let go only when it's in the line of fire."
President Snow joined the others above to watch. He gave me the nod and it was time.
"Katniss let's try hand to hand combat now."
I showed her some moves. How to block hits and then strike back at the opponent. After that I walked into the fight circle so did she. She wasn't expecting a real fight with me but, it was what was coming.
"Fight me Katniss."
She glanced behind her to see Snow observing. It didn't budge her or seem to frighten her at all. She kept her arms down by her side as a non threat.
"No."
"You need to defend yourself."
The other tributes and trainers stopped what they were doing. They all watched what was transpiring between us.
"I will not be a showing for them. The fighting needs to stay in the arena."
The point was to show Katniss as weak to the other tributes. To provoke her into rage and to prove she was no different than they were. Perhaps even to be injured or killed in self defense by me. She still took a stand not to fight. That stand was the beginning of a terrible ending for her. Her fighting would never stay just to the arena now. The choices she made were no longer going to affect only her.
The Peace Keepers came through the door. She would fight one way or another. I couldn't let her walk away from here without at least a few cuts and bruises. Snow would never allow it.
Katniss took the first of my punch to the face without falling. But the third took her off her feet. Four had to stop Peeta from interfering. If he hadn't the Peace Keepers would have. He once again revealed his love and weakness for her.
She got up but refused to fight. Then I did it again until she fell to the mat. This tactic was getting us nowhere. So I chose another path.
"If you refuse to fight me, I will choose another tribute to take your place."
Katniss said nothing. She stood before me bleeding and ready to take more punishment. But she was still refusing to fight.
"I choose Mags."
"I volunteer in her place."
Finick would lay down his life for his mentor, the only mother he ever knew. Only this time he couldn't volunteer in her place. The Peace Keepers were ready to step in as Mags walked towards the circle to accept her fate.
Before Mags made it to the circle. Katniss took a fighting stance in front of me.
"I'll fight."
It was nothing less than I would expect from the Mockingjay. She was selfless and thought of others before herself. If you wanted to fuel the girl on fire into a blaze; you had to find something or someone she wanted to protect or loved.
The selfless part of her would have fit nicely into the Abnegation Faction. So would the belief of using weapons in self defense only. Well I guess that part would still remain to be seen.
Dauntless always viewed the Abnegation as the weak and cowards. Katniss was anything but that. The Dauntless motto was simple.
We believed that cowardice was to blame for the world's injustice. Peace was hard to be won and sometimes it was necessary to fight for it. Justice was more important than peace even if you had to die. Apparently she felt the same about it.
However we didn't believe; any other virtue was more important than bravery. Or that we should ever stand idly by. This was what separated Katniss the most from everyone else.
I picked up two knives and tossed one on the mat for Katniss. What she did next even surprised me. After she turned her back to me, she knelt on the mat while staring at Snow.
"Do what you have to do."
It was the only words uttered from her. Most would have at least attempted to fight for their lives and the weak would have begged not to die. She surrendered and waited for death to come. It was an act of bravery and stupidity at the same time.
What the tributes did surprised Snow and infuriated him. They threw the weapons down from their hands. Made a confirmative line and turned their backs to him. As they all held up their joined hands high in the air for Katniss. Her following was greater than any of us realized.
If it wasn't for the fact the tributes had already been announced for the game, he would have them killed right then. Another thing he wouldn't want to be exposed to the Capital or the Districts.
The lights immediately went out in the center. As the Peace Keepers were pushing the tributes and us out. For the first time I saw fear in Katniss. She kept looking behind her once we were outside until Peeta came out the door. She left out a sigh and maybe he was a weakness of hers after all.
As the tributes were taken by Peace Keepers back to their quarters. I was being taken somewhere else. I didn't have to ask where or why. I already knew. Snow was sitting in the garden at the back of his huge home.
"That display of defiance is why Katniss Everdeen cannot live. I do not even want her in the arena because she will spoil the game. She feeds them hope and with hope you cannot control them. I would have killed her today to prove my point but her legacy would be seen as a martor. I can't have that either because then another would try to take her place. Her image must somehow be tainted before the accident. I trust you can carry out this task?"
"Yes."
"If foul play becomes expected. Her death will be blamed on another tribute. If you fail me again Tris, your father and brother will pay the price for it. Once you have completed the mission, your family will be released. Then you can live life as one happy family comfortably here in the Capital. We also wouldn't want anything to happen to that nice boy Tibas you seem so fond of, now would we? Do we have an understanding?"
"We have an understanding President Snow. Katniss will never make it to the arena. You have my word on it."
I hope you enjoyed reading me!