Emo Boy
by Thyme In Her Eyes
Author's Note: I own nothing. This is another entry for the CloudxAerith Forum's 100 Themes Challenge. This time round the theme/prompt is "Clouds". This is another fluffy piece, written mainly because I have issues with the ultra-angsty interpretation of Cloud's character you see these days, and I miss the goofy weirdo he often was in the game itself. This story also turned out to be a weird parallel to another C/A fanfic of mine, 'Place Your Bets'. And it wasn't intentional at all. Anyway, this is set around the party's second visit to Gold Saucer. That place inspires all kinds of happy and stupid thoughts in me. Enjoy!
-- EMO BOY --
One day I sat thinking, almost in despair; a hand fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly: 'Cheer up, things could be worse'. So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.
- James C. Hagerty.
x-x-x
"I guess Cloud can be cool and badass and stuff," Yuffie had said, scuffing her boots against the squeaky floor in a series of limp kicks. "But he's just so emo sometimes."
"Emo? You really think so?" Aeris said, laughing mildly.
The question sparked something huge and Yuffie grinned, eyes growing huge at the chance to really talk about the whole thing and let off some steam. She'd actually been friendly, well-intending and good-natured, eyes only occasionally flashing with sly mischief and sneaky glee, when she launched into her super-charged rant about Cloud's asocial tendencies and lone-wolf attitude. Aeris listened patiently, knowing better than to interrupt the young girl when she was talking in full steam, and quietly and smilingly absorbed all of Yuffie's opinions about Cloud only being focused on Sephiroth and revenge, being all work and no play, not wanting any friends or company, not caring and not being interested in other people, how cold he could be, how annoyingly complicated he was, how he never cracked a smile, and most of all how much time he spent being mopey and depressed about his past and his issues. Aeris nodded and smiled when Yuffie wove imaginary scenarios of a brooding competition between him and Vincent, and tried not to think of how many times such an apparently miserable and serious guy had given her something to smile about. Biting her lip to stifle her giggles, she also made a mental note to remember Yuffie's view that "if the guy's hair wasn't so naturally funky, he'd be wearing lame bangs across one side of his face, covering up his eyes and the pain in his soul, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...".
It didn't seem to Aeris that Yuffie was giving the impression of not liking Cloud; instead it seemed as though she looked up to him, but got frustrated at him sometimes, which was true for everyone. But still, Yuffie's impression of AVALANCHE's leader jarred so much with Aeris' own, and she couldn't help but wonder if everyone saw him that way. Sure, he could be strange and introverted, but that only kept her guessing and keen to draw him out a little more.
"You really see him that way?" Aeris asked, genuine surprise touching her tone.
"Gawd, yes! Wouldn't have wasted my breath saying all that stuff if I didn't mean it!" Yuffie exclaimed, before mild consideration made her purse her lips. "You see him differently, huh?"
"I can't exactly say... Just that Cloud is Cloud."
"No kidding," Yuffie deadpanned, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, you know that's not what I mean. But he's a deep person, Yuffie, and there's more to him than what your first impressions might tell you. Believe me when I say I know where I'm coming from with this," she replied with a self-deprecating laugh, feeling a familiar fascination enter her thoughts once more as her tone lightened and she gave Yuffie a playful wink. "And besides, he's very endearing when he smiles."
"You're just saying that cause you're smitten," Yuffie said with a wicked grin. "But he's never gonna do cartwheels in the grass, is he?"
"Not unless you put your mind to persuading him," Aeris retaliated with a smile sly enough to put the sneaky ninja to shame, tapping her fingers against her chin in a mock-thoughtful gesture and narrowing her eyes comically.
"Whatever," Yuffie said, trying not to snicker at Aeris' dramatics and at the picture forming in her head. "But if you manage it, take a picture for me, kay? I'll totally be your slave for life."
"It's a deal," Aeris said, nodding affirmatively.
"Sure! Anyway, I wanna go show off my moves and win prizes at the Battle Arena now. And prove how much butt I can kick with no help from the rest of you guys," Yuffie drawled and began walking away but, before leaving, spun around to face Aeris again. "Wanna come with? I'd let you have a go too, I swear."
"Maybe later. I'm thinking of trying the Speed Arena a couple more times first," Aeris replied, wincing at the sick and distressed face her friend suddenly made. "Sorry, Yuffie."
"S'okay, but please don't ever talk to me about that thing. Heh, guess I'll just have to take out all these hurl-worthy feelings out on those dumb monsters!"
"Good luck!" Aeris called out, giving her friend a small wave as they parted ways, when Yuffie suddenly ran back to her.
"Heyyy – thinking about it, I'll probably see Cloud there," the ninja offered, her eyes lighting up with kindness this time. "What else could a cool guy like him do in a place like this? I betcha that right this second he's being all boring and cute with his sword and his biceps. You know, training-up and stuff. Anyway, I'll tell him you said hi."
"Thanks, Yuffie."
"No problem! See ya!" Yuffie squealed, giving Aeris a quick pat on the shoulders before racing off to the Battle Arena, punching and slashing at the air as she ran, leaving the Ancient alone with her thoughts.
Aeris walked alone, and although she loved the Speed Arena and was eager to have a ride on it, especially now that this time around she had enough GP to ensure plenty of turns, she felt a little discouraged from going knowing that Cloud definitely wouldn't be there. She caught a few funny glances when she chuckled at her own thoughts, remembering how she'd persuaded Cloud and Cait to have a go with her on the ride the first time they'd visited the amusement park, and how much Cloud regretted letting her talk him into it. She'd been dreadfully sorry and told him she'd never have pushed if she'd known he had a problem with fast-moving rides, but he'd only looked slighted and then grinned cockily at her, insisting he was fine and never had problems with motion-sickness. He'd insisted and brushed off her apologies as apologies for nothing, but the pallor of his face told Aeris a very different story. But somehow he'd managed to make the whole thing seem like a sweet quirk, and got her to laugh it off and recall the incident fondly, although re-visiting the memory highlighted more than a few things about him that troubled her. No matter what was wrong with him, his heart was unfailingly in the right place, and that thought made her suddenly and fiercely want to see him and speak to him. If they were ever going to get closer, she definitely had to talk to him about Zack soon, at least...
Aeris decided there'd be plenty of time to visit the Speed Arena later. Rides were so much less fun if you had no-one to scream and laugh with you whilst on them, she also figured. Tifa would probably really like having a go on it, Aeris thought, and she had more than enough GP for two. So the fun could wait till later.
She turned around, feeling strangely confident that she'd find Cloud somewhere other than the Battle Square. It had been the first destination he'd had in mind since arriving at the Gold Saucer and by now he'd definitely been there to get the Keystone from Dio, but it had been around an hour since everyone split up and went in their own directions around the theme park. Perhaps he was somewhere else. Maybe the Battle Square was the only place worth hanging out for a hardened and cool warrior who only wanted to train and think dark and unhappy thoughts, but Aeris had a feeling that Cloud would get bored of being there after a while and would be drawn to other places. Sparkly and noisy places, even. She also stubbornly tried to shake off the residual mental image of Cloud's biceps from her head, but Yuffie's offhand comment had lodged a series of stupid, embarrassing and slightly exaggerated images firmly in her mind, and it didn't look as if she'd be able to evict them any time soon.
However Yuffie saw Cloud, it was very different from how she saw him, Aeris reflected. From what she'd seen and learned of him, Cloud didn't seem at all like the type who wanted to be left alone – in fact, Aeris was willing to bet that each member of their team meant more to him than he let on, and that what he wanted was to be close to others, and he needed his friends very much. Obviously, he tried to hide it, and to Aeris that made him appear younger than his years, like an overgrown and mixed-up kid, rather than the epitome of cool and mature. He was confused, not cold. She refused to believe that he didn't care about things, and refused all the more whenever his fake attitude reared-up and all but screamed that he didn't care.
He could be so stupid and awkward and socially clumsy sometimes, and he often shattered the smooth image he tried to build into pieces. But he was also genuine, friendly, sensitive and very caring under all that; she'd seen so much evidence of it not only from how he acted around her. With her, he could be confused, flustered and blushing, and all it took to throw him off-balance and make him forget the coolness he tried so hard to achieve was the right kind of smile, a cheeky wink, a flirty comment, or a dainty kiss on the cheek.
Aeris was the first to acknowledge that Cloud wasn't exactly a bouncing ball of sunshine, but he'd never struck her as miserable or mopey either. Not when there was so much spirit under the surface just waiting to be brought out of him by the right person. Besides that, Aeris had known him to have a good time when he wanted to. Cloud had good moods and bad moods just like everyone else, and Aeris wanted to be there to see them all. He was no Zack, but he was funny and endearing in a very different way to Zack's charm and witty one-liners, and was always a breath of amazingly fresh air to her. So many things he did and said, and a number of things he failed to do or avoided saying, made her care for him more and more.
He was perceptive too, and insightful about more than a few things that escaped other people. He was simple and direct, and that made her unconsciously look to him for direction and drive more than anything. He was a strange, endearing and deep contradiction and Aeris yearned to understand him better. It wasn't so hard to see the real Cloud lurking underneath that front; Aeris figured that all anyone had to do was push him a little bit – the real thing would never fail to peek out and answer back. Her smile was a private one as she reflected on instances when she'd managed to provoke that reaction, and everyone who happened to notice her as she passed them found themselves wondering what could be on her mind.
In her opinion, Cloud could be positively sunny compared to Vincent, Nanaki or Tifa. Even Barret could be more serious, always booming and yelling about their goals and Shinra. She'd seen Cloud dolled-up pretty enough to turn heads in Wall Market, seen him inches away from kissing Don Corneo and she'd seen him come to rescue her after having known her for less than a day. She'd simultaneously winced and laughed as she watched him humiliate himself and a Shinra squad on national television at Junon, and she'd seen him smile slyly and tease Barret about how he should've kept his sailor suit. Aeris also remembered him being with her the last time they'd been at Gold Saucer, exploring the Squares together and seeing the sights, and trying to get to know Cait Sith a little better. Cloud had been patient with her as she'd taken her time, watched the chocobos race each other, and played on the Wonder Square's games, and eventually he'd gotten over his own attitude and let himself have some fun and played a few games himself before they moved on to hunt down more rumors of Sephiroth. She'd been so pleased to see him come out of his shell that she'd been all seriousness when they spoke with Dio, never once giggling or teasing Cloud about the many 'boy' comments or Cloud's reaction to them – not when she could see how drained and tense he'd become at the mention of Sephiroth's name and his closeness.
Aeris strolled, eventually making her way to the Chocobo Square. Instantly, her smile brightened and her feet started tapping and she felt like doing a silly dance; the music of this particular part of Gold Saucer always had that funny effect on her. She craned her head, feeling sure that Cloud was more likely to be here than anywhere else.
She found him on one of the many screens, listed as one of the next race's competitors. Aeris brought her hand over her mouth as she smiled and watched him lining up with the other racers, and made sure to place a bet on him. Oh Cloud, you just couldn't stay away from this scene, could you?
She loved how he managed to surprise her, even when she read him correctly and made all the right guesses. There was something so great about actually seeing this spiky-headed and generally tough-looking guy on a bright yellow chocobo, and all of his typical moments like this never failed to fill her with warmth. How someone often so clueless could amuse and charm her without even meaning to was a total mystery to Aeris, and watching him race offered no clues.
Aeris lost control then, forgetting her troubled thoughts; squealing and cheering as Cloud's chocobo neared the finish line, neck-and-neck with another, and a rare black chocobo to boot. Her chest and stomach contracted and her heart flew up into her throat as she watched, thrilled, hands clasped together tightly.
"Come on, Cloud! You can do it! Go, go, go!" She screamed, knowing he couldn't hear her or feel supported, but unable to hold herself back. When he crossed the finish line, barely first and making an incredible win, Aeris nearly exploded.
"Yesssss!" The overjoyed words burst out of her as she pulled the nearest stranger into a tight hug. "He won, he won!"
"Wow," the red-haired man she was pressed flush against breathed, full of awkward happiness for her and her win. "So how much money did you have riding on that bet?"
"Oh!" she said, remembering herself and pulling back, politely disentangling herself from what she suddenly identified as the strong smell of Sylkis Greens, and trying to give the stranger a charming smile. "Not much, to be honest. I just think the jockey's cute."
"You know, you think that'd surprise me, but you see a lot of that round here," the older man said, almost wistfully. "Chocobo racing just happens to be one of those sports where you end up seeing a lot of ass."
Aeris laughed appreciatively, turning her head and trying to brush off the blush blooming on her cheeks as Yuffie's bicep-talk crept back into the forefront of her mind, mated with the stranger's ass-comment and spawned an unholy and very distracting and unladylike thought-offspring. She hadn't even considered that possibility during the race, and wondered mildly if Cloud might have another go at racing after receiving his prize.
"You think a victory like that's down to a good chocobo or a crazy jockey?" The red-haired man laughed, pointing at the big screen. "Because good-looking or not, that man is just loopy."
Curious, Aeris looked back to the screen as the man left her to place a bet of his own. She blinked and stared, not quite believing what she was seeing. A stupid breathy noise left her mouth and an equally-stupid smile took over her face as she gawped at the television, awed by the unbelievable thing she was witnessing as Cloud's place in her heart felt as though it were doubling in size.
Having won the race, Cloud made a big, silly jump from his chocobo, swinging his arm into the air in a big, overblown yesssss gesture. His chocobo quickly caught on to his enthusiasm and began bucking crazily, throwing Cloud into the air over and over again, almost to the rhythm of the victory-music. He was so goofy and funny, and Aeris couldn't stop watching as he kept on cheering and jumping off his chocobo and into the air. Even his crazy smile and whoops of glee carried well onto the screen, and he looked like he was having the time of his life and was about to burst with joy and enthusiasm, almost like a hyperactive kid. Aeris smiled more than fondly as she watched Cloud bounce up and down on the big bird, flailing his arms around to the music like a fool. A really cute fool, she amended, helplessly bursting into delighted giggles watching it.
Even with a television screen between them, it was great to watch and the fun he was having translated clearly. It was possibly the least manly thing Aeris could remember him doing, including dressing up as a girl, and it was dorky and silly but it made her laugh and want to hug him, and even race against him on a chocobo of her own and see if it really was as much fun as he made it look. He was being typical Cloud, whose solemnity and focus could make the whole group feel the tension prickling from him, but who wore his lighthearted and cheery moments as lightly as air.
"Emo, my ass," she murmured, smiling wryly.
"Pardon?" A sour-faced guy next to her asked, turning towards her, puzzlement scrawled all over his face.
"Sorry! Nothing!" she exclaimed, still grinning like an idiot whilst turning as red as her jacket and running over to another screen viewing the race and the victor's celebration.
I don't think it'll be so hard to get Cloud to cartwheel around a patch of grass after this, Aeris thought, her stupid smile fading and being replaced by a much more wry version.
Heck, the sight of Cloud bouncing and cheering on a happy chocobo was a good enough sight to take a picture of. He didn't have many moments as hyper as this one, so it was certainly worth remembering, but a part of Aeris wanted to keep it to herself. Cloud hadn't asked anyone to watch him or told anyone how he'd be spending his free time at the Saucer, and although he wasn't the type to hold grudges against a friend, Aeris figured he probably wouldn't appreciate her telling everyone what he'd been up to. And as much as she enjoyed teasing him and giving his figurative feathers a much-needed ruffling, the thought of anyone else making fun of him and discouraging Cloud from being himself in the future sent her protective instincts into overdrive.
But she still couldn't help but smile slightly and imagine what would Yuffie have said if she could have seen him, and it saddened Aeris to think of how hard Cloud usually tried to deny this odd and overwhelmingly genuine side of himself. Sorry for him, she wondered why it was sometimes so difficult for the others to see or remember this side of him. The cute dork who could always make her smile when she thought about him. The Cloud she'd show the world one day. The Cloud she was definitely falling in love with.
Whoever Yuffie's Cloud might be, he certainly wasn't the same guy as her Cloud.
-- FIN --