What Hurts The Most
What Hurts The Most
Was Being So Close
And Having So Much To Say
And Watching You Walk Away
And Never Knowing
What Could Have Been
And Not Seeing That Love In You
Is What I Was Tryin' To Do
Everyone wore black that surrounded me. Tears filled eyes, including my own. There was a silence over the people around. We were paying our respects. Our respects to my girlfriend. My girlfriend who was no longer with us.
Millions of thoughts raced through my head. Why hadn't I stopped her? Why? I was an idiot, and couldn't help but feel guilty for what happened.
Leslie was a beautiful girl, inside and out. She had a winning personality, a creative style, and was an all around great person. We were so close. I actually planned on marrying her as soon as we were old enough. Being 16, you can't really get married. Which is why I didn't believe it when I was told the news.
I yelled. I screamed. I cried. I ran. I ran away. I was gone for like, a day and a half. I don't remember what happened. I honestly don't. It all happened so fast. It was just like, I found out the terrible, heart breaking news, and I just, I just left. I obviously came back. I had to. My heart is still scarred though. And it always will be that way. I'll never be able to heal completely.
Mom says that it's normal to feel this way. I loved Leslie. She was my life. I was her life. We spent every day we could together. I just can't get over the shock of losing her. I know, she's gone, and there's nothing I can do about it. But if I could bring her back, I would.
Dad says everything happens for a reason. That's just the way it is. We may not always like that reason, but it's just the way things happen. It's still not fair.
Now, I'm actually scared. I'm afraid to go on drives when it's raining, especially without my parents. I refused to get in the car with Kevin because it was raining the other day. I didn't want to die too. Someone had to keep Leslie's spirit alive. And it had to be me. It's what she wanted, and I know that.
Leslie died in a car accident. It was raining, and she'd gone shopping with some friends. She car swerved, and Leslie ended up being the unlucky one in the accident. Her friends made it out alive. Leslie died at the scene.
I knew I should've convinced her to stay with me. We could've watched a movie or something. She always loved snuggling on the couch under a blanket, watching movies. But no. I let her go. I let her go with her friends. It's my fault, despite that my family says it's not. Despite that her family says that it's not, because I know I could've stopped her.
And if I had stopped Leslie, her friends wouldn't have gotten hurt either. They wouldn't have gone shopping without her.
"Nick" Leslie's mom, Alyson, or Mrs. Williams, came up to me after Leslie's body had been buried. I quickly wiped any tears that were remaining from my face. "Yes Mrs. Williams" I said turning around. "You can still call me Alyson honey" she said putting her hand on my shoulder. I nodded. Alyson pulled a necklace out of her purse. It was Leslie's cross that she always wore. "I want you to have this. Nathan and I discussed it, and we want you to keep it, so you always have a piece of Leslie with you. We knew that she'd probably want you to have it too" Alyson told me slipping the necklace into my hand. I nodded. "Thank you" I said, staring at the necklace that lied in the palm of my hand. "She'll always be with me though. I can feel her. She's looking over me. And she'll always be in my heart" I whispered. "Oh Nick" Alyson burst into tears as she pulled me into her arms. I started to cry too.
Leslie would always be with me. Always. I'd always be with her too. She'd never leave my heart.
"You ok?" Joe asked patting me on the back. "No. But I will be" I said. "It just may take a while. I mean, I'll never be completely ok again, but, things will get better" "That's the way to handle it. It'll be ok Nick. Trust me" My big brother told me. "Thanks" I said and gave him a great big bear hug.
But why her? Why now? Why at all? Why me? It wasn't fair. This wasn't a dream. But the last question for Leslie that I have for her, "Baby, why'd you have to leave me?"
Life isn't fair at all.
What Hurts The Most
Was Being So Close
And Having So Much To Say
And Watching You Walk Away
And Never Knowing
What Could Have Been
And Not Seeing That Love In You
Is What I Was Tryin' To Do
And Not Seeing That Love In You
Is What I Was Tryin' To Do
Song Credit-Rascal Flatts "What Hurts The Most"