Look, this is my first fic, so do be kind, and constructive … unless you have hilarious insults… then I won't mind :)

Unfortunately, I don't own Kain or anything else from Nosgoth, Edios does as usual.

Ok, this is set in the middle of Defiance, so bear with me.

And the first of many installments…

Unexpected Visitors

Reeling from the feeling of displacement of those ancient gates (you know the ones), the two heroes, Kain and Raziel, found themselves in the center of a small dark room, as in, 16' x 12' small, with a single small closed doorway as an entrance and exit. Surely if these two men were interior designers, they would have burst into flames. There had been no specific style chosen for the couch and chair, unless "suck" could be a theme; the walls had wood paneling a sickening brown that was reminiscent of excrement; the drapes, just plain god-awful; and the carpet, a haphazard mixture of earthy colors, like algae and dirt.

Raziel furrowed his brow at the drapes' terrible assault to his eyes, while Kain scowled at the floor.

"What sane being could possibly live in a dwelling with such a grotesque display of furniture and drapery without becoming ill?" Raziel disgustedly wondered aloud.

"No one," Kain answered back absently, "for I do believe someone has vomited upon the carpeting."

Raziel became puzzled as to from where the answer to his wonderment had come, as Kain developed a sense of confusion from where the question originated. Just then, they noticed each other. Both men drew their Reavers in preparation of battle, backing up as far as they could from each other, which was like, 2 feet.

"Perhaps we should take this outside," suggested Raziel, putting away his Reaver. Kain followed suit.

As they were about to move out of the visually torturous room, a small burnette woman burst into the room from the door, screeching at the top of her lungs. She had a well-developed body accented by a small yellow t-shirt with tight low-rise jeans, and seemed quite furious.

"If any animals puked in here, YOU CLEAN IT UP, Al!"

She angrily stomped in a single foot into the room (as in measurement), only leaving a single foot between her and a confused Kain, before realizing there were strange people in her house. The smell of her fear was pleasing to both men, but was cut short with the smell of her excitement when she, seconds later, recognized who these people happened to be.

She let out a short excited laugh. "It's Kain! Friggin' sweet! In mah livin' room!" She turned from a surprised vampire to the blue wraith. He squinted his eyes. "AND Raziel!" Once again, she laughed. "FRIGGIN' sweet!"

Kain and Raziel faced each other in now equal confusion. Who was this woman, and how did she know them by face and name?

Well, how'd you like? Could you see the tragedy of which is this woman's living room?

I'll explain her next time.

Please review!