by Martial Arts Master
Digimon and all related characters copyrighted by Bandai, Saban, Toei, TV Tokyo, Fox, and Fox Family. I made up Mr. Naldo and his daughter, though. For some of this to make sense, you'd have to have seen Episode 50 of the second season of Digimon, since this takes place after that episode. Now, there's something I need to say. Nagisa Makona, I apologize for that review I gave you. I didn't mean it to sound snide. When I said "Let me guess: You don't like Pokemon, Patamon, or Sora", I meant to say that I was trying to see if that was true. However, today I've looked at it from your point of view, and I can easily see how you'd think that comment was sarcastic. So I apologize. As to being possessive of my MSTing: You're right about that, too. It's perfectly okay for a fic to be MSTed more than once, so I shouldn't have gotten so possessive about it. I apologize for that, too. Finally, I didn't mean to challenge your right to your own opinions. As it says in my author profile, I'm the LAST person to stand in the way of free opinions. However, looking at it from your point of view again, I can see how I sounded like I didn't respect your opinions. I'm sorry for that, too, and I won't attempt to make excuses for what I said in my review. If you're wondering why I didn't simply reply to your e-mail and say all this, it's because I accidentally deleted the e-mail. I hope we can put this ugly little incident behind us, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your vacation. With that said, let the story begin.
***
Hi.
My name is Ken Ichijouji, but if you watch Digimon, you'd already know that, wouldn't you?
Well, I'm an adult now, me and Wormmon have jobs as detectives, and I'm happily married to Yolei.
I even have kids, but neither they nor Yolei are here right now, so I'm free to tell you a story.
What's that, you say?
You say Willis already told you a story in that "Virus Creator" fic?
Be that as it may, you need to know mine.
First off, I'll reiterate what Willis may have told you.
Our own world has changed.
Gennai set something up, and now every human on the planet has a Digimon partner.
It goes like this.
Whenever a human baby is born on the planet, a Digimon appears to be that baby's Digimon partner.
Which Digimon appears, you ask?
Actually, it's totally and completely random.
The Digimon could be Baby, In-Training, Rookie, Champion, Armor, Ultimate, or Mega level.
The Digimon could be a Vaccine, Data, or Virus-type.
I know what you're gonna say.
You're gonna say, "What, Virus-types can now come to our own world freely? What the heck is Gennai thinking? We're gonna have another Diaboromon incident or something!"
Well, actually, even the Virus-types are well-behaved now.
Don't look at me like that! It's true!
No Digimon who comes to our own world to be a human's partner is evil.
That means you could very well meet some human with an Machinedramon on the street, and the Machinedramon be as friendly as any other Digimon you meet.
Yes, you heard me right.
I said Digimon selection was totally and completely random, didn't I? And I also said all the Digimon are now well-behaved and good.
So what I just said isn't impossible.
Anyway, sometimes the Digimon help out in jobs.
For example, there's this popular new singer, and the singer's Digimon is a Shogungekomon, who sings right along with her.
That's right, her.
It's very possible to for someone to have a Digimon of the opposite gender.
Just ask my wife Yolei, or her Hawkmon.
Anyway, there's also a waiter who happens to have a Punimon as a Digimon partner.
Now, you're probably wondering, "Well, can't these Digimon digi-volve?"
The answer is no, for the most part.
Unless you become a Digidestined, with a Digivice and crest, and that happens extremely rarely, you're stuck with the same Digimon partner for life.
But that's not a bad thing, because almost every human gets along with their Digimon partner just fine.
That's because since every person's Digimon is their partner, those Digimon also become their trusted friends.
In fact, that fact has become instrumental in reducing crime dramatically.
That's because of two things.
Number one: Some crimes happen because the criminals never had anyone to share their feelings with.
But because everyone has a Digimon partner now, every person on the planet has someone to share their feelings with.
From there it should be self-explanatory how this helps reduce crime.
Number two: Digimon not only are the trusted friends of humans, but they also act as sort of living manifestations of their consciences.
Don't get me wrong, Digimon aren't really physical manifestations of their consciences, for that would require telepathic contact with humans, and in all my adult years, I only know of two Digimon who are telepathic.
The first is Wizardmon, and the second is MyeloMyotismon. Well, he has to be telepathic in order to be able to know people's fears and desires.
However, I said earlier that all Digimon were well-behaved and good now, so they are usually the ones that help would-be criminals to realize the folly of their ways.
Now of course crime hasn't been completely eradicated.
That would be unrealistic, and if I said crime was completely eradicated by Digimon you'd probably stop listening to me.
But crime has been reduced dramatically.
The only reason me and Wormmon are still detectives instead of being out of a job is precisely because crime hasn't become completely eradicated.
One problem that pretty much has been gotten rid of is the drug problem.
You see, most people take drugs because it helps them get rid of the depression in their lives.
But like I said earlier, with Digimon around to share your feelings with, you don't need drugs to get rid of your depression anymore. All it takes is a little pep talk from the Digimon.
World hunger's been reduced even more than crime has.
After all, with Digimon to act as the physical manifestations of their consciences, the humans no longer waste food that would save the lives of so many of the hungry.
Pollution's been brought down, too, though not as much as crime or world hunger.
If I say it's the conscience thing again you're probably gonna run off screaming, so I'll stop now and move on to something else.
One other thing: Digimon romance.
If two people meet and fall in love, and if the two Digimon are of the opposite sex, the two Digimon invariably fall in love, too!
Don't believe me? Let me give you an example.
I once saw a teenage boy and a teenage girl meet and fall in love.
The boy had a Mammothmon, and the girl had a Palmon.
Once the teenage boy and teenage girl fell in love, the Mammothmon and Palmon fell in love, too!
There aren't any homosexual Digimon couples, though.
Don't ask me why; it's just another one of the many Digimon mysteries that'll probably never get solved.
If there were homosexual couples, though, people probably would have been more open-minded about them than they would have been had this whole "every human on the planet having a Digimon" thing happened 25 years ago.
Oh, that's another thing.
Bigotry and racism have pretty much been eradicated, too.
By now you should be able to figure out why by yourself, so I won't tell you.
No place is perfect, of course, but now our planet is as close to a utopia as possible.
Best of all, with no Digimon being evil anymore, there was no need for the gate to the Digital world to be closed anymore.
With the help of Azulogmon, Gennai was able to open the gate to the Digital World permanently.
However, to prevent humans from populating the Digital world, one is only authorized to go to the Digital World if one meets at least one of the following conditions:
1. one is a Digidestined human (you know, with a Digivice and crest)
2. one is a Digimon
3. one is related to a living Digidestined human
4. one is taking an officially sponsored tour of the Digital world that ends up going back to our own world
5. one is Gennai or one of the Gennai look-a-likes
And even then, humans are forbidden to live in the Digital world.
That's because if humans populated the Digital world, it would disrupt the ecosystem of a world that is only used to having Digimon live in it.
Oh, by the way, the Digital world still has lots of Digimon in it; it's just that none of them have a human partner.
Now you're probably thinking, "Come on, get to the story! I don't wanna hear any more about how Digimon have changed our world!"
Well, then, suit yourself. Here is my story:
If you've been watching the Digimon show, you probably know that I used to have an older brother named Sam.
He was a genius, just like I turned into later.
The only thing I was better than him at is blowing bubbles from those toys.
Kinda pathetic, huh?
You also probably know that Sam is gone, now, having passed away for some reason.
What you don't know is exactly how Sam died, and what brought it about.
The reason you don't know is because until this year, I didn't know either.
All I knew was that Sam was never coming back, and my guilt over wanting him to disappear just before that and my anxiety over thinking my parents would want me to be in Sam's image made me easy prey for a phony e-mail, which later turned out to be from Arukenimon, who later turned out to be working for Owikawa, who later turned out to have been possessed by MyeloMyotismon.
That's how I became the Digimon Emperor.
Thank goodness that's all over with now.
It had been decades since Sam had passed away.
It was actually bitterly ironic.
Me and Wormmon were detectives, and yet I still didn't know the full details of the passing away of my own brother!
I got teased about it often by my fellow detectives.
Of course, every time I got teased by them about being a detective who didn't know something about his own relation, Yolei gives them an earful about making jokes about something that personal.
You gotta love Yolei, she can really stand up to people.
That's why I myself love her, and married her, and had kids with her.
Speaking of kids, you're probably wondering why Yolei has to stay home and take care of the kids while I get to be a detective.
Am I a sexist jerk who thinks men are better than women?
Not at all. I'm a firm believer in women being equal to men.
It was Yolei's own choice to be a housewife.
That may sound strange to those who know how up-front Yolei is, so let me explain.
You see, I can't relate to people very well. Don't forget, I used to be the Digimon Emperor.
Even though I'm not, I don't make friends easily, and I'm usually quiet.
You don't have to be an astrophysicist to figure out that since I don't relate to people easily, I wouldn't make the best father in the world.
Yolei recognized that, and she realized that she relates to people much better than I can.
Yolei figured that she'd be a better mother than I'd be as a father, so she decided to be the one to take care of the kids, to give them the love they deserved.
However, Yolei doesn't do all the work as a housewife.
She made sure of that so she wouldn't fit the housewife stereotype.
She made sure by having me and Wormmon be the ones to do the dishes instead of her.
Sometimes we forget, but everybody forgets things sometimes.
Wait a minute, what am I doing? I'm not supposed to be talking about Yolei, I'm supposed to be telling you my story!
*ahem* Anyway, long ago I had accepted that I'd never be able to find out the full details of what happened to my brother.
But all that changed one day.
I had just solved a difficult case with Wormmon.
The case was about how this one woman found all of her money stolen out of her safe, and the robber had left very few clues.
I won't spill the details. Let's just say it was extremely hard work, but I eventually caught the robber.
Apparently this robber wasn't one of those many would-be criminals who were convinced by their Digimon partners not to commit crimes.
The robber had a Phantomon.
At a trial, the robber was found guilty, but his Phantomon was found innocent, because the robber, over a fit of guilt, confessed that Phantomon had talked to him about him planning the robbery, and he'd lied to Phantomon about deciding not to commit the crime, and had committed the crime without Phantomon's knowledge.
Just goes to show you the kinds of bonds that form between humans and their partners.
The woman who had been robbed had a rather unique way of thanking me for my hard work, aside of course from the fee for my services.
She'd gone up to me and asked, "What was your name again?"
"Ken Ichijouji," I replied.
"Thank you very much for helping to catch the robber," the woman said. "I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't gotten my money back."
Then she asked, "You're Sam's little brother, aren't you?"
My attitude was guarded, as usual with things like this.
"I guess..." I replied.
"As a token of my gratitude, I'll tell you that I know something about his death...or rather, my father knows something," the woman said. "I don't know exactly what, I just know that at the time, he came home one day and muttered the name 'Sam' over and over again. I was never able to find out what he meant."
"Can I talk to this man?" I asked, trying to sound professional even though I felt gleeful that, after so many years, I'd finally have a lead on my brother's death.
"Sure, he's at a retirement home just southwest of here," the woman said. "He's extremely old, though, so don't make him anxious."
"I won't," I promised her.
Then I asked, "How do I know who he is, and how will I get to talk to him?"
"Tell the people in charge of the retirement home that you've been sent to talk to Mr. Naldo by his daughter, Ms. Naldo," the woman replied.
"I'll do that," I said.
After I had joined Wormmon, who had just solved a minor case in which he had to solve the mystery of who had stolen an old gentleman's cat, we both went to the retirement home.
Once we went inside, a man with an Elecmon stopped us.
"Do you have business here?" the man asked.
"I was sent to talk to Mr. Naldo by Ms. Naldo," I replied.
The man went off for a minute, then came back.
"Ok, the guy says you're clean," the man said.
The man then pointed in the direction of Mr. Naldo's room.
I went to Mr. Naldo's room.
An extremely old man with a MagnaAngemon was waiting for me.
"So, my daughter sent you to talk to me, eh?" the old man, obviously Mr. Naldo, asked.
I nodded.
"Whaddya wanna talk about?" Mr. Naldo asked.
"I am Ken Ichijouji," I said.
Both Mr. Naldo and his MagnaAngemon groaned.
"I'm getting old, and my time is near...I suppose the truth should be told," Mr. Naldo said.
With that, he began his story.
"It was many decades ago, before the Earth knew about the Digimon," Mr. Naldo said. "I was just driving home from the store."
"A little boy who looked like he was under a lot of pressure stepped into the street, not watching where he was going," Mr. Naldo continued. "I tried to swerve, but it was too late. I hit the poor boy. Killed 'em instantly." (Author's Note: I'm making this up. The show never says exactly how Sam passed away, so this is my take on it.)
I was shocked, and I guess it must have shown on my face.
"Yeah, I later found out his name was Sam Ichijouji, and that he had a little brother named Ken," Mr. Naldo said. "I didn't wanna have to face you or the rest of Sam's family, so I quickly drove-off."
I fought to keep my temper under control.
"Sir, that's called a hit-and-run," I said professionally. "You could be convicted for manslaughter."
"Not much chance of that," Mr. Naldo said, chuckling weakly. "There isn't time. In fact, I think..."
Suddenly Mr. Naldo gasped, and clutched his chest and left arm in pain.
As MagnaAngemon tried to tend to him, I rushed out of the room, calling for a staff member...
I later found out that Mr. Naldo had collapsed and died from a heart attack.
It was a shame. Although I had finally solved the mystery of my brother's death, after so many years, Mr. Naldo would never be able to go to trial, considering he was now dead.
And that is my story.
The End
E-mail all questions and comments to bleifer@msn.com.