CotA: Luck of the Drunk

Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece.

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Night time was always a peaceful refuge aboard the Tomahawk, ship of the Axe-Head pirates. It's crew would be fed a hearty meal, dance to music played by their musician and entertainer/scout...

Indeed, it was always a nice vacation from the weird things the Grand Line gave them every single day. However, tonight, and the day after, would be different than most nights, for a shadow slinked along the deck of the Tomahawk. The figure grinned slyly as it carried buckets, paintbrushes, and other assorted things under it's arms.

Slowly and quietly, the figure made it's way into the cabins of the sleeping crew, the smile growing bigger and bigger.

Time to get to work, kiddies...

-----

"OH MY GAWD!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

"I LOOK RIDICULOUS!!!"

Like a stampede of wild boars, every single member of the Axe-Head crew stormed out of their cabins to find a sight that not one of them ever expected to see.

Green.

Everything...

Everyone...

...was green!

Both male and female members of the crew gawked at each other. Their hair had been dyed green during the night! Even Herman's skin and usually red lobster shell had been painted to the color green.

DJ tugged at his hair, "What's going on!? I look like Roronoa!"

Devon grinned, "He doesn't look like a wuss, so you're mistaken, Macleod,"

"Why you sonofa-,"

"Hey, guys! Happy Drinking Day!"

They all turned to see Azu leaning against the galley doorway. His usually red dreadlocks had been dyed green as well, but he was the only one out of the whole crew who seemed to be disturbed by the change.

Azu took a swig from his clay jug, "How do you like your new looks?"

Everyone but Chizuru advanced on Azu, their eyes gleaming with malice.

"WHAT...DID...YOU...DO...?!"

Azu waved them off, "Oh, just chill out, guys! I just did all that to celebrate the holiday!"

"WHAT HOLIDAY?!"

Azu picked his ear, "St Patrick's Day,"

Everyone was quiet.

The shipwright nodded, "Yeah, I figured ya'll wouldn't know about that. See, a long, long, long, long, long, long, long..."

-2 Hours Later-

"...long, long, long time ago, there was this ol' pirate called Patrick. He was known for using a four leaf clover as his Jolly Roger. He sailed across the Grand Line, fighting other pirates just like everyone else does, but instead of keeping whatever gold he earned, he kept only what was needed and gave the rest to those who needed it most. You know, poor people, orphans, grieving widows, all that jazz. Because of his actions, and despite his career, he was giving the nickname of 'Saint Patrick',"

Herman looked up from his shell cleaning, "If he was a pirate, why did he get a day for himself?"

Azu shrugged, "Well, it wasn't officially designated a holiday by the World Government, but everyone who loved Saint Patrick and his good deeds on the Grand Line gave him a day of honor,"

Niri's eyebrow twitched, "Azu...," she grabbed her nakama by the shirt and lifted him off the ground, a deathglare emanating from her eyes, "Why...dye...us...green?"

"Oh, that!" Azu just grinned stupidly, "It was Patrick's favorite color, and everyone who honors this day has to wear green! Whether it be green hair, clothes...," he glanced at Pingu and Sora, who were also green, "Fur and feathers...,"

Niri's grip tightened, "We have green clothes...why do this?!"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I was bored,"

Everyone watched in silence as Niri began to beat the living daylights out of their friend.

"Oh good lord...,"

"Is that supposed to bend like that?"

"Not in any medical book I've read,"

"That's gotta hurt...,"

-----

"Man, we look stupid,"

Niri tried to ignore the looks they got when they walked through the town of the island they just came to. Everyone was staring, smiling, and pointing at them, whispering things under their breaths.

"This is all Azu's fault, that drunk baka. Why the hell did he do all that just to celebrate some pirate holiday? We could've easily just dressed in green and called it a day,"

Axe looked at her from over his shoulder, "Yeah, but still, just because he did all that doesn't mean you had to yell at him and throw him off the ship like that,"

Niri huffed, "He landed on the dock...he's lucky I didn't throw him into the ocean for Seaking bait," she cracked her neck, "Besides, I told him he can get back on board when he apologizes for what he did, and when he brings back stuff to make us look normal again,"

"You know, he looked hurt when you said the holiday was stupid,"

"It is stupid! Sure, a decent pirate goes around giving money to those who need it and helps out, but doesn't Luffy's crew do that as well?!"

"Well, with Nami being a part of the crew, I don't know about the money bit, but yeah they do help out,"

"Then where's their holiday?!"

Axe was silent.

"My point exactly," Niri muttered as her stomach growled loudly, "Look, I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat...meet you back at the ship,"

Axe waved her off, "Don't kill anyone if they make fun of you,"

"I make no promises!" Niri called back as she walked off.

With Niri gone, Axe roamed the streets of the island's village by himself, completely ignoring that looks and whispers. He had dealt with worse things in his life, so this was nothing compared to that. However, he was ignoring his surroundings so much, he didn't notice what was in front of him until he bumped into something and fell to the ground.

"Hey, watch it!"

Axe looked up from under his hat and grinned, "Man, why do we always run into you guys?" he climbed to his feet to find two familiar people standing in front of him. One was a young man wearing a bucket hat, his red hair sticking out of the bottom of it. The second one was a Stingray-type Fishman with black hair flowing freely down his head.

"Kibo and Nick," Axe shook his head, "I swear...,"

Nick scoffed and placed his wooden sword on his shoulder, "Hey, Axe...what are you guys doing here?"

"Supplies,"

"Ah," Nick nodded, then leaned forward, "Why...do you have different hair color?"

Axe sighed and removed his hat to reveal his head of green hair, "Azu's doing. He dyed everyone's hair green, and even painted my chef green because it's Saint Patrick's Day...,"

Kibo and Nick glanced at each other, then turned to him.

"Huh...thought it looked familiar," Nick thought aloud, "It's been so long, I forgot he did that,"

Axe frowned, "He's done this before?"

Nick nodded, "Yeah. When he and Goheno used to live in Water 7, they, among certain other citizens of Water 7, would go all green and drink their asses off,"

"Drink their asses off?" Axe blinked a few times, "Green stuff, I can get, but the drinking...?"

"It's a tradition," Nick explained, "A lot of people celebrate the holiday in different ways. Some wear green, some eat corned beef and cabbage, and others just get wasted,"

Axe's eye twitched, "Sounds like Azu's perfect day,"

Nick sighed and scratched his head, "Yeah, but I'm surprised he's still celebrating it,"

"Why is that?"

"Because of Goheno. He and Azu were very close, and when they used to celebrate it back in Water 7, when either of them showed possibilities of being unable to celebrate it, they'd get a little depressed,"

Axe was taken back, "He doesn't celebrate it because of the getting wasted thing?"

Nick shrugged, "I'm sure he does, but he always seemed to enjoy it more with Goheno. I mean...holidays are meant to be celebrated with family, and with Goheno being like a brother to him...," he trailed off.

"Uhm...Nick, he's gone,"

"Eh?" Nick looked to see Axe was no longer in front of him, or anywhere near them, "Kibo-teme, why didn't you tell me before?!"

"Because I felt like it," the Fishman shot back, "Besides, you got your story wrong,"

"What?"

Kibo rolled his eyes, "Azu and Goheno met when he was 20, but he left at the age of 21...he was only able to celebrate the holiday like once or twice before they left!"

Nick was quiet for a few moments as he scratched his head.

"Huh...go figure,"

"Nick, have you been drinking lately?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

-----

"I can't believe he did all that...,"

"I can't believe we just did what we did for him,"

The majority of the Axe-Heads stood around a giant vat that was filled to the brim with alcohol while a table of glass beer mugs and green-colored food stood nearby. Axe had told them what he heard about Azu shortly before, and as soon as he was finished, the guilt hit them all. So, in an attempt to make it up to him, as well as make him as happy as it did before, they all decided to go all out to celebrate the holiday.

They had been waiting for Azu to come back for a while now, but there wasn't any sign of him anywhere on the dock, and it was getting dark.

"Think he's okay?" Niri asked, getting herself more beer from the vat's tap, "I hope he didn't do anything stupid,"

"Like getting drunk?"

"Oh, he always does that. I mean getting drunk and falling off a cliff or something," Niri took a sip of her beer, "If anything happens to him, it'd be my fault. I made him go off the ship, and I hurt him by calling the holiday stupid. I don't know what I'd do if something bad happened to him,"

Everyone took a drink of their own beers, silently agreeing with the sharpshooter.

"Aw...Niri, that'sh sho shweet of ya...I didn' know...you cared!" a familiar, slurred voice said from above, accompanied by sloshing sounds.

Everyone turned and looked up to find Azu hanging over the edge of the vat, his face very red with a stupid grin on his face.

"When the hell did you get back!?" Niri shouted at him, "You had us worried and...," she stopped, noticing that Azu wasn't wearing a shirt, "Azu...when did you get back?"

Azu hiccuped, "Oh, me? I jus' got back...,"

"Really?"

The drunken boxer nodded, "Yeah...right afta ya'll filled the tub,"

Niri's eye twitched, "That long...without your shirt off?"

Azu shook his head, "Naw...," he hiccuped, "I was a little wasted before, and I thought this was a skinny-dipping pool ya'll made for the chicks, so I stripped and been enjoying it,"

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!

Azu watched as every single one of his nakama spat out their beer and ran to the railing. He listened to them vomit, shrugged, and went back under the foamy suds of the beer pool.

Guess they can't hold their liquor...thought though, guys, I really appreciate it. Wonder how the big guy is doing?

-----

At that moment, somewhere along the Grand Line, Goheno Baba was sitting alone on a large cliff, a giant mug of beer in his hand and a bowl of corned beef next to him. He looked out at the ocean and raised his mug to the sunset.

"Here's to Azu...happy Saint Patrick Day,"

-----

Kirsty wiped her mouth, "Okay, I don't care if I do have the Heal-Heal Fruit...I'll never recover from that!"

Devon groaned as he leaned over the railing, "Beer tainted by naked man...now I no longer fear death. In fact, I'd welcome it," he turned to the woman he loved, "How you holding up?"

"Alright...," Kirsty muttered, "Though, I kinda wish I wasn't the only one suffering right now,"

"Hm?"

-----

Kyra Chambers moaned and covered her face in embarrassment. She and her entire adopted family came to the Green Dragon to have a drink to find out that people were celebrating a holiday named after a "pirate saint" as they called him, and now, after a few drinks, both Stick and Buu were dancing in the middle of the tavern as people clapped them on, music filling the bar. She glanced at her brothers to find them dancing around in a circle, both of them having red faces and mugs of alcohol in their hands, the beer flying outward here and there. If the dancing wasn't enough to embarrass her, it was their singing...

"Oh , you can search far and wide
you can drink the whole town dry

but you´ll never find a beer so brown
but you´ll never find a beer so brown

as the one we drink in our hometown
as the one we drink in our hometown

You can drink you fancy ales
you can drink´em by the flagon

but the only brew for the brave and true
comes from the Green Dragon!!!"

Kyra, Edge, and Caine watched as the two martial artists made fools of themselves. Edge shook his head and went to his steak, "I can't believe they just did that...,"

"I can't believe that they just made that song up on the spot," Caine added, staring at his pupils.

"I'm so glad I'm adopted," Kyra murmured as she looked away from her brothers.

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Kilnorc: Alright, I decided since it's Saint Patty's Day this Monday, I figured I should try a special oneshot. SURPRISINGLY, this idea came to me just as I was waking up from a crash session one evening, and I knew I had to do it, especially since Azu loves to drink, lol. Guests here are Nick Olas who belongs to Shidyk D. Shade, and Kibo who belongs to Crazy-Fishie. Sorry if it's blah, the idea came too late, I had limited time...hehehe. And, yes, that song is from the final movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I figured since the bar in Kyra's home is called the Green Dragon, and that song seems to go well with drinking parties, it should be there for this fic.

Happy St Patrick's Day, everybody!