This is something I randomly wanted to write about… Just a comedy one shot… :)
Disclaimer: Hey, if I owned Twilight, Midnight Sun would 100% be published, and I don't, and it might not be…
Jacob's Zit
JPOV
I woke up, thought about BEAUTIFUL Renesmee, and then I waded out to the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Renesmee came rushing and screamed. "AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! What is that thing occupying your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????"
I sighed. "That, Renesmee, is a HUGE zit, one that defied nature and somehow plastered itself to my skin."
Renesmee backed away from me, as if somehow afraid that the zit was contagious.
I sighed once again… This would be a long day…
All of the Cullens stared, and stared, and stared. Seriously! It was like my zit was my FACE, it attracted THAT much attention….
So… I went to the store, and looked at all the zit creams.
A few tubes named: Zit-disappear, Abracadabra-zit-go-away!!!, Zit-be-gone, Zit-Clear, And last but not least, some tube with a model dude on it, smiling with his bleached white teeth showing. But then, my extra awesome eyes noticed something, the model guy, HAD A ZIT ON HIS CHIN!!!!!!!! To me, that was hilarious….
I bought all of them, paid the cashier who probably needed them more than I did, then got home and tried them out.
But as I was driving, I was thinking: HOW THE HECK DID THAT ZIT GET ON MY FACE!!!??? My whole body is supposed to heal quickly, so how did it get on me?
I carefully touched it, and my hands met paint. Dried paint. I was at the house by then, I went straight to Emmett, and punched him in the face. It broke my fingers, which healed quickly, but it still felt good.
I noticed that all of the Cullen boys except for Carlisle were laughing hysterically.
I went the whole day muttering to myself and plotting revenge.
In the morning, I woke up to a voice screaming: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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