A/N: Hello everyone! Here's the first chapter of what I hope will be a great story. Feel free to review, all of your opinions will be highly appreciated.

It's a hard life

Chapter 1. Life is Wonderful

'Life is wonderful…

Hm… isn't it a line from a song?'

These were the first Merlin's thoughts that morning.

After a little thought he understood that it didn't really matter, because it was true. Merlin smiled to himself. He could feel the warm sun-rays on his face and closed eyes. He could even hear some birds chirpering. But the main factor that made him smile was the feeling of a soft body lying next to his. He could even sense a strong and steady pulse, because his arm was hugging said body even at night.

When he finally decided it was time to open his eyes to meet another beautiful day, he was met with a wonderful view of two sleepy but nonetheless astonishing eyes. Once again he felt like he could stare into those eyes for the rest of his life and his heart skipped a beat. He never thought he could fall so madly in love with anyone, but here he was, lying next to the most important person in his life and grinning like a fool. He was truly happy.

"Good morning" he whispered, tightening his embrace and burying his nose in that soft hair.

"Morning" Freya pulled away from Merlin's face and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "So, what are our plans for your day off?"

"Oh, I thought we could sleep in or just stay in bed till mid afternoon" Merlin grinned slyly, "And then I was thinking about a nice dinner in your favorite restaurant. How does that sound, my fair lady?"

"Hm… Are you sure that sleeping for such a long time will be good to your health?" After that Merlin put on his most serious face and answered sounding professional.

"Well, as a doctor I can assure you that my health is out of danger, because as of lately I didn't get a chance to get much sleep. So you don't have to worry about that. And we could do much more interesting and enjoyable things in bed that just sleeping." The last statement was murmured into Freya's ear, and after that Merlin moved to plant a few soft kisses onto her earlobe and her neck.

He was just moving along her neck to kiss her on the lips, when he herd the beginning of "Save me" song, ringing from his bedside table. He froze for a second and then moved upwards to look Freya in the eye. Her smiling face became serious when she met his gaze.

"You should pick it up" she told him quietly and put her palm on his cheek.

He sighed heavily and reached for the ringing mobile.

"Merlin Emrys"

After that he listened to the quick speech of someone on the other side of the phone his frown increasing with every second.

"But where's Gauis? He should be there today!"

He had to listen some more, but soon he finished the call with another heavy sigh and a phrase "I'll be there".

He put the phone down and turned to look at Freya who looked disappointed and sad.

"I guess there'll be no interesting and enjoyable things then. And even no sleeping in for you. What happened? I thought you had a long-deserved day off, can't they spend just one day without you?"

"There was a serious car accident and many of the injured were taken to our hospital, because it was the closest. They need all of us there today, they can't help everyone fast, because there are not enough surgeons" Merlin sounded apologetic and tried to look Freya in the eyes, though she turned her head to the side and was now looking outside the window. "I'm sorry, I know we spend little time together lately, but I promise I'll change that. Do you trust me?"

"You know I do. I just miss you" she sighed and looked at Merlin once more. "I know how tired you are and I worry about you, but I also know that you're saving lives out there, so I'll have to deal with it". She leaned up and reached to kiss Merlin on the lips, slowly and deeply, their tongues expressing mutual feelings without words.

When the kiss ended Merlin pulled her into a tight hug and murmured softly "I love you so much".

He felt Freya hug him back when she said "You have to go, there are people waiting for you, they need you."

"You're right, as always. I'll call when I'm free and we can at least go to that restaurant, ok?"

He knew she was right, but he really didn't want to let go. With a final squeeze, he rolled out of bed, quickly went to the bathroom, took a cold shower to help himself wake up and gather his thoughts, grabbed some jeans and a sweater, pulled on winter coat, pressed another kiss to the soft lips he loved so much and ran out.

He had to hurry, according to a short report from the hospital there were ten injured in the accident, and three of them were in a critical state. Two surgical teams were already working on the most severely injured victims, but his team had to help the third person. He knew that his patient was already prepared and waiting for his main surgeon, who had to perform an operation that could save his life.

The General Hospital was situated about half an hour walk from Merlin's flat and he enjoyed walking, but today he was in a hurry, so he took the first cab he met and promised generous tips if the driver took him to the hospital as soon as possible. Maybe his face was too worried, because the ride took only about seven minutes, which the young doctor spent talking on the phone with his assistant surgeon, who filled Merlin on their patient's injuries.

The driver didn't even pull the car to a final stop, when Merlin was already running up the main stairs, having left enough money to pay for the trip twice as long. Satisfied cabbie smiled to himself and wished he had more such passengers.

Meanwhile Merlin was practically running through the hospital halls, trying to avoid collisions with people on crutches and in wheelchairs, passing nurses in a hurry carrying trays with drugs. It was not a rare occurrence for Merlin to get to work this way, and he really hated it. But it came with being one of the main surgeons in Emergency Department of the General Hospital. It was on such occasions that he couldn't help but think that their Department was too far from the main entrance and it took him forever to get to hid dying patients.

To get into the operation room quicker he started changing on his way: he had already taken off his coat and was trying to get out of his sweater by the time he reached the changing room. Once in there, he got out of his jeans, threw on some scrubs and hurried to the washing room, where he was met by his assistant surgeon – Lance.

"Hey! Sorry to ruin you day off…"

"Hey Lance, and I know it's not your fault. I guess I'll just have to wait for another opportunity to get some sleep" Merlin tried to joke, but they both knew situation was far too serious and their patient's life was depending on their skills. Lance offered a reassuring smile and after washing-up was done two surgeons entered the OR.

'I lost him' he couldn't help but play this thought over and over again in his mind. Merlin could still see the face of Mark Johnson – the man who died on his operating table less than ten minutes ago. He was already washing-up for the next operation, he still had two injured people to help, so young surgeon had to take his mind of the unsuccessful attempt in saving man's life.

Merlin had worked in the General Hospital for three years now and he had lost some of his patients, as most of them came to his table in several pieces, which he had to put together like a puzzle to save their lives. He had also had days, the ones he preferred not to think about, when he had lost a patient and had to operate more. But that experience taught him to switch his mind of some subjects and concentrate on the task at hand.

"You ok?" he heard Lance's concerned voice when he reentered the OR.

"No, but we have more important things to do than mourn, so let's help others while we still can, shall we?" Merlin's voice was quiet but steady. That was one of the reasons why he was a leading surgeon at such a young age. People respected his ability to withdraw himself from the pain all of the doctors felt after losing a patient and he could perform a brilliant operation at any given condition.

And so they set to work, and the operating room was once more filled with noises of life-supporting machines beeping and surgeon's commands.

After successfully performing two more operations Merlin was drowned, both physically and mentally, so his only thought was to get home and go to sleep, preferably with Freya, who will be supportive and gentle and will soothe his worries.

So, when Lance suggested going out for a few drink after a rough shift, Merlin politely declined and headed home.

"See you on Tuesday then" Lance said when they were parting ways "Don't forget you have a day off tomorrow and have some rest, ok?"

Merlin couldn't help but smile. Lance was his close friend and was always supportive and caring and sometimes Merlin thought his friend came off the pages of the old book about knights.

"Right, Mother Hen" Merlin smiled at the annoyed expression on Lance's face "I'll be alright, I always am. Don't you know me well enough to say that?"

"I know you well enough to say that you're too reckless when it comes to your sleeping and eating habits. Sometimes I think you could hide behind the lamp post and no one would notice you were there."

"You're exaggerating, and I'm old enough to care about myself. Anyway, I feel like I could fall asleep right now, talking to you, so I should really head home. See you!" and with that and a final wave of his hand, Merlin turned left and started his walk home. Lance stood there for a while looking at the back of his leaving friend. Merlin could fool anyone with that special smile of his, but Lance knew better than to believe that Merlin was okay. Only a heartless doctor would feel nothing after losing a patient and Merlin had a large and kind heart. With a long sigh and another glance towards the way Merlin left, Lance turned around and went home.

It was seven in the evening and Merlin started to feel cold, in his morning hurry he managed to forget his hat and scarf, so right now he was walking with his hand in the pockets trying to pull his head into his shoulders as deep as possible. He could have taken a taxi, but right now he felt like he needed space and air. Once again his mind went through that operation, trying to find the answer, to understand how it went wrong. He knew he would probably never be able to fall asleep that night, continuously trying to make himself believe that it wasn't his fault, that he had done everything to save the man's life.

He was so deep in his thought he didn't even notice how he got home, ascended the stairs and opened the front door to their flat – the one he shared with Freya. It was a sign of how lost he was that he didn't notice an unfamiliar pair of shoes in the hall. He only thought something was wrong when he heard muffled noises coming from their bedroom. Merlin could hear loud moans and squeaking of the bed and rustling of the sheets. He knew where those noises usually came from, but he refused to believe his own ears, so he came closer to the door and opened it slowly and soundlessly.

And that's when his world collapsed.

There, on the bed, was the woman he loved, having passionate sex with some nameless guy, screaming and moaning. He wanted to tear the man from Freya, to punch him, to yell at both of them… But most of all he wanted to know the answer to a single question – How long?

He knew why she would do it, he understood he was not the best kind of a boyfriend, but he truly loved her and cherished their relationship. So now all he wanted to know was how long was she cheating on him. But, then again he might know that either.

'When was the last time she told me she loved me? It must be about half of the year ago. Oh God, I can't believe I was so blind I didn't notice it sooner! I am an idiot!'

A low pained moan escaped his lips without him even noticing, and that was the moment when Freya, who was on her back, noticed him. Her eyes were glazed with lust and desire, her face was covered with sweat and her expression wasn't one of guilt or shame – it was one of disdain.

"Why didn't you call when you finished your work?"

'Is that everything you want to tell me right now?' Merlin thought, but his mouth refused to open, so he silently turned on his heel and left the apartment – her apartment. He never wanted to see it or her again.

Merlin felt strange. Being a physician he couldn't explain what he felt. On one hand, he could swear that his heart was aching to terribly he was worried whether it was going to stop beating soon, not that he objected too much to that. On the other hand he felt kind of numb, like everything that happened today was just a bad dream and he was going to wake up soon.

'The only problem is that I know I'm not asleep' Merlin smiled ironically. His feet were carrying him somewhere on their own accord and it was only when he started to feel really cold that he noticed he was nearing the General Hospital. Ironic smile turned bitter.

Nevertheless he entered the main door and unconsciously moved towards his own Emergency Department. He wanted to be alone and he knew the best place to do it – waiting rooms. Not that they were always empty, quite the opposite there was almost always someone waiting to see the doctor and learn the results of the operation. But he knew one spot where relatives never stayed, so that was his destination for now. He would think about everything else later.

Merlin managed to reach Waiting Room 13 in a few minutes and when he saw it was empty, just as expected, he went to the couch and sat on it. The piece of furniture was old and batted, but it was just perfect for an exhausted doctor, who needed rest. Before he knew what he was doing, Merlin laid down and within a few seconds he was asleep, the stress of the long day finally catching up on him.

'Life's great'

That was exactly what Arthur Pendragon was thinking strolling through the halls of the General Hospital after having an intimate rendezvous with one of the pretty nurses from the Pediatrics Department. She was good-looking and sweet and more passionate than he could ever imagine. So he could definitely say that his evening was starting great. And to add to his joy, he had a date with one of his ex-patients. He knew it was not ethical of him, but he simply couldn't resist his own magnificent work he did with her breasts and they both agreed that he wouldn't be her surgeon ever again.

Arthur was smiling and practically humming some joyful melody when he met Gwen. She looked concerned and he immediately quickened his pace to reach her and find out what was wrong.

Once they were lovers, but being a playboy he was, Arthur couldn't resist the temptations that surrounded him and they broke up. After that he somehow managed to gain Gwen's friendship once again, which was rather useful, as they worked at the same hospital, though she was a nurse and he was a cosmetic surgeon.

"Hi Gwen! What's wrong?"

"Hi Arthur! It's great I met you!"

"I'd never thought you wanted to get back together. Lance can't keep up the pace I set?" Arthur couldn't help but joke about Gwen's current boyfriend.

"Stop that, will you?" Arthur had never seen Gwen being so harsh, he thought he might have stepped over the line this time. But then she smiled sheepishly and apologized "Sorry Arthur, I'm just nervous and I need your help. Come with me, ok?"

"You know I could never say no to a beautiful woman," seeing that Gwen turned to her usual self, Arthur decided it was safe to make another joke, his mood was still great.

But when they reached the Waiting Room 13 he lost his smile and stood frozen for a moment. He saw his best friend sleeping restlessly on an old couch looking paler than usual.

"What's he doing here?" his voice was angry, but Gwen knew he wasn't angry with her.

"I don't know. One of our nurses found him half of an hour ago and I immediately came to see him, but I guess you'll be able to learn more from Merlin himself. My shift is not over, so could you take care of him?"

Arthur was silently watching his old friend with worried eyes.

'Something must be terribly wrong, if Merlin is asleep at the Hospital wearing his winter clothes'. Aloud he said only "Yeah, of course. After all, I've always had to keep him out of trouble. Good luck with your shift, Gwen."

The nurse silently nodded and went back to her duties.

And Arthur kneeled by the couch Merlin was sleeping on and put a gentle hand on the man's shoulder. "Wake up, Merlin."