Your adventures shall be recorded in this journal. It shall be known as the Crystal Chronicles, AKA The Giant Big Ass Book.
Roland: So, your first year on the caravan. I'm glad you're willing to join and collect Myrrh for the town of Arcagie.
Rutker: You forced us into going! You drugged us!
Roland: …Your point? Either way, you're going to retrieve the Myrrh, whether you like it or not.
Karen: …You suck, bitch.
Karen gives Sarah a motion
Sarah: So, how long do you think we'll be on this trip?
Roland: Maybe 4, 5 hundred years.
Sarah: WHAT?
Behind Roland, you see Karen taking his wallet
Sarah: Um, OK. Thanks for your encouragement.
Depre: Well, let's go!
Karen: Hold it, Clavat! We're not going anywhere till I say so! And where the hell's Daemon?
Daemon comes up behind Karen
Daemon: Hey, what's going on?
Karen: If you even come as close as touching me, I'll break your neck!
Daemon: Hey hey! Can't we all get along? How about you, Sarah?
Sarah: Um, surprisingly, I have to agree with Karen.
Karen: All right, shut up! All of you! I'm the leader, and we're leaving now! Hold on, does anyone have any rope?
Daemon: Yeah, why?
Karen: Oh, no reason. Let me just see it.
Daemon: OK. Anything for you…
Five Minutes Later
Daemon: Hey! You can't leave here! I don't want to be stuck to this tree! Come on!
Depre: When do you think we're going to let him go?
Karen: What? Who said anything about letting him go?
Sarah: Come on! He might be useful. He could be bait.
Karen: Hmm, good point. Make sure to put a piece of bacon on his head to attract the monsters.
Daemon: Um, you know what? I'm enjoying the view from up here! You can just leave me! I'll be fine.
Aaron: Oh Daemon, we're not going to let you miss a single thing on our adventure.
Daemon: Ah, crap.
Sarah: I don't have bacon, but how about meat instead?
Karen: That'll work better. HEY DAEMON! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!
Roland: WILL YOU GUYS LEAVE ALREADY! WE'RE DYING HERE!
Karen: OK, OK, we're going, you old man. Anyways, let's see what the old man had. 400, 500 Gil, a worm antennae, a crystal ball, a Legendary Weapon. Not bad.
Sarah: What'd you get?
Karen: Nothing good. Just some crap.
Depre: Who wants onions?
Aaron: I do! Wait a minute…crap.
Karen: GET HIM!
Aaron: Wait? Can't we all work this out?
Sarah: Hey, we drew straws. You lost. Besides, you're made of onions.
Rutker: Technically, Lilities are from the Onion family, but still.
Karen: Oh, shut up Rutker, nobody asked a spirit with no body for help.
Rutker: You didn't have to be so mean…
Karen: Like I care.
Sarah: He's almost done!
Aaron's on a stake
Depre: No, I didn't mean him!
Karen: And you just said that 20 minutes after you said who wants Onions. Yeah, that's real smart.
Daemon eating Aaron's arm
Aaron: OW! Hey, that hurts you son of a bitch!
Daemon: Shut up! I'm hungry!
Aaron: Get your own food!
Daemon: I don't wanna!
Karen hits both of them
Karen: Either you guys shut up, or I'll eat you both!
Sarah: Ooh, conflict!
Rutker: I got my bets on Karen!
Depre: Shut up, asshole.
Karen: Well, after eating half of Aaron's arm, we're finally at River Belle Path. At the least, we could last five minutes in there.
Sarah: I have an idea! Let's throw Daemon in there!
Daemon: HELL NO. Well, I might if you wou-
Karen: NO.
Daemon: Co-
Karen: NO!
Daemon: Please!
Karen whacks Daemon into River Belle Path
Daemon: Oh god help me! I have been violated.
Karen: I told you Sarah. It's nice to have an idiotic decoy.
Rutker is hunched over, drawing something
Depre: What are you doing?
Rutker: Look at my masterpiece! Voila!
A crappy Flower
Depre: Um, that's pretty good. Putting it mildly of course.
Karen: In other words, it sucks ass. Let's get moving. The monsters killed themselves over Daemon's liver.
Daemon: My life is nothing but AGONY! And VIOLATION!
Karen: DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?
Daemon: Um, maybe.
Karen whacks him into another group of monstersSarah: Don't you ever get bored of that?
Karen: …What are you crazy? This is more fun than stealing dad's wallet!