He was...confusing to say the least. Very confusing. One minute he's flirting and super funny with me, he acts like a best friend. the next minute he's distant, he acts like, like he almost hates me. Adam says to give him time. but if i only knew time with what? what secret is he hiding? Why is he hurting me like this. Why is he putting me through the pain. I no were not dating, and I'm pretty sure we both want to be, or at least i do, but maybe wanting is not enough. Alli tells me to get over the freaky Goth kid who drives a hearse, but i cant. I cant get my mind off of Elijah Goldsworthy.

why cant i get her out of my head. I haven felt this way since Julia. Hell i didn't even feel like this with Julia. with her its different. shes my cute funny adorable teaseable smart as hell Christian blue eyed, reddish brown hair, vampire loving' boyfriend less(for now) shopomore. And me? i don't deserve a girl like her, i killed my last fricking girlfriend. What if something happened to her? i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i let any kind of harm to her. But shes already been broken. that's the problem. .C. broke my beautiful girl's heart. and there was nothing i could do about it. and that slutty blond he left her for. Bitch. If i could I'd kill them both, hurting MY girl. My girl? Man, I'm getting possive. Clare Edwards. Clare Goldsworthy. Mrs. Clare Goldsworthy. holy crap! moving to fast Eli! .. haha i remember when i said that to my Clare. Uh i mean clare. Oh skrew it. she is my girl always has been my girl(even if we didn't no peashooter) and always will be my girl. I wonder if she ever thinks about me like i think about her. it hard for me to become attached to someone after what happened with Julia. I wouldn't be able to live if something happened to clare. Every time I'm around her all i can think about is getting her to kiss me. Why don't these things ever work out for me? Ugh i have no idea. This sucks.

I think he does this to me on purpose i really do. Everything about him draws me in. His dark brown hair, his amazing green eyes, his mostly all black attire, his trade mark smirk, his excessive use of scrascam, his guitar pick necklace, his charm, his always ready quick witted responses, his car morty, and how he doesn't care what people think of him. I feel that we have some connection. We kissed the other day for a Romeo and Juliet project, sparks flew or at least for me. It was an amazing kiss way better then anyone i have ever kissed before, its almost like K.C. who? haha. Eli has a horrible past his girlfriend got hit by a car after leaving at night on her bike after a fight with him, he blames himself and feels he doesn't deserve me or to be happy. He says soon it will happen, he just needs time, and I'm fine with that.

Clare Clare Clare Clare Clare. no seriously that's what is going on in my mind. The other day we kissed. That's right! i Elijah Goldsworthy kissed clare Edwards...for a project. I'm in love. Don't judge. What am i going to do i want to get over Julia i really do, but its just so hard for me. Adam tells me to just ask her out already and relieve all the sexual tension. I want to i want to ask clare out but I'm scared, I'm already so close to her but if we were going out and something happened...i wouldn't be able to live with my self or without her. i cant, i wont. I refuse i refuse. I'll..I'll...I'll kill myself anything happens to her. I really will.

Eli goldsworthy. My boyfriend. that's right he ask me! i hate to feel like a little girl but EEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP! it happened randomly. we were just sitting next to eachother outside waiting for Adam and he turns to me and asks me out and of course i said yes! then he kissed me, over and over. Whenever he had the chance haha :) I'm sooooo happy :) that's right everyone! Clare Edwards has a boyfriend! and i want this to last...

I asked her out. That's right i gave up my pussy ways and asked her out. I was sitting with her outside waiting for Adam and i was looking at her, and then something just..clicked. she had to be mine before she moved on before anyone took her from me. It was simple just a random question. She said yes. thank god :) and i kissed her again and again and again. what can i say i was deprived of clare kisses. and every chance i get ill be kissing her. And we will talk it wont be just kissing don't worry :) and i want this to last...

FOREVER

fin

A/N: ok just to clarify the ending the forever was supposed to be said by Eli and clare...i hoped you liked it :) I'm still working on my writing. The story are clare and Eli's thoughts on eachother..or my personal view on how they are or should be :) please ignore all spelling mistakes and other mistakes my computer is being stupid.

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