I'm falling out of love, and it's effortless.

**********

I thought I loved Elliot. No, I do love Elliot. I do.

Aw, what the hell? The only person I'm trying to convince is myself.

The truth is, falling in love can be as easy as word. But following out of love is just as easy.

Elliot does love me. She'd be heartbroken if she knew I didn't love her anymore. It was Kim all over again. Except now I knew that I couldn't make myself love her. The feeling wasn't the same anymore.

She thinks I'm her soul mate, that we'll make it through anything. But this...this is the begining of the end.

How can I tell her I don't love her without hurting her? It's not her fault that I don't love her like I did. It's just not going to work.

**********

I walked into Sacred Heart. The sky was blue, the sun was bright. The day was nothing out of the ordinary. My thoughts were the same as usual. I felt like I was going through the motions until something happened that would change everything. 'Why can't I ever change anything?', I thought, frustrated.

Elliot was waiting for me. "JD!", she squealed, as if she had never been this happy to see anyone ever in her life. She hugged me, then drew me into a kiss. I returned it, but it felt fake. I wondered if she could tell.

We walked in, then went our seperate ways. I met up with Turk after rounds. I decided I was going to take charge of my life and do something for once. "Can I talk to you Chocolate Bear?", I said. "Sure man!", he said, grinning. "In private?", I asked, immeadietly regretting my desicion. He sobered up a bit and nodded.

Together we walked into the On-Call Room. It was surprisingly but thankfully empty. We sat down, and he turned to me. "What's up Vanilla Bear?", he said, looking at me intently. I guess he could see something was wrong.

"I dunno man. I just...I just...I've...", I couldn't say it. "Go on.", Turk said. "I...I don't think I love Elliot anymore. Actually, I don't love Elliot anymore." I didn't know what else to say. Turk looked at me, and he wasn't altogether shocked. "JD...why?"

This was the question I couldn't answer. "It's just that...it's faded.", I said. Turk nodded, though I don't think he understood. "Then you gotta get out.", he said. "But...but I don't want to hurt her.", I said, tears in my eyes. Turk hugged me, and II started to cry. "There's no way out.", I sobbed. He patted me on the back lightly.

When I finally calmed down to the point of sniffling, he said, "It'll be better for both of you if you let her go now." I nodded, then sighed. "It's like Kim all over again.", I said.

"No," Turk said, "This time you'll be able to get out before it gets too serious. And you can still be her friend."

I shook my head. I wanted to believe that, more than anything in the world. But I knew it wasn't true.

**********

"Elliot...", I said, "I..." She cut me off. "JD," she said, "What's wrong?!" I sighed inwardly. "Elliot," I continued, "I...need to tell you something." She looked at me worriedly. "What?", she said. "I...I...I don't love you anymore.", I blurted out.

Elliot's eyes immeadietly filled with tears. "I'm sorry, I don't mean it like that! It's just...I don't..it's like...", I stammered. She stopped me. "JD, it's cool. I don't want you to stay with me because you need to.", she said, "Bye JD."

As she walked away, I knew what I had done was right. But it still hurt to know that she was hurting.

But she was free to love someone who could love her back. I couldn't have done anything better for her...right?