"Let me go!" Zelda cried, being heaved over the fat, sweaty shoulder of Wario. "Let me go you ugly man!"

The ugly man didn't let her go.

"Wario!" Mario stomped his plumber foot. "Let the princess go, right now! Or I'll make them cancel the Big Comfy Couch!" He crossed his arms angerly. Wario pathetically began to cry, and ran off with Zelda.

Kirby looked at Mario. "What an ugly man he is." Mario glanced back, "I know, like did you see his shirt?" He sighed. "Totally doesn't match his pants."

Link clapped his hands. "I have hairspray coupons!" He squealed to himself. Mario and Kirby glared at him and punched his head off.

"We have to find the princess!" Mario demanded. He ran off home to get a sword or something to wack enemies with. Kirby followed close behind while Link layed on the ground with no head.

xxx

"Kirby! Where's my plunger!" Mario cried. Kirby waddled to the bathroom and waddled back out. "I don't know."

Mario growled, "well you can't just expect me to go plungerless! I have to find it!" He ran to the closet and began to angerly pull out random objects.

Kirby watched. "What do you need a plunger for anyway? Are you gonna fight with it?" He tapped his little foot. Mario turned around, "NO! I DROPPED A GRENADE IN THE TOILET AND IT'S GONNA BLOW."

Kirby gasped. "Uh oh, that can't be good. Can't you reach in and get it?" He walked over to Mario.

Mario's ears began to steam. "NO I CANNOT JUST REACH IN AND GET IT. IT'S FULL OF POOP YOU MORON. NOW FIND ME THAT PLUNGER!" He dug further and further into the closet.

Kirby was ready to go. "Yeah, well I'm ready to go."

Mario cooled off. "Okay let's go. I'll just bring my sword." He whipped out a sword from the closet. "Actually it's Marth's, but I stole it." He said happily, walking to the door. "Come on you freak, we're leaving."

Kirby ran after Mario to start their quest.

xxx

The two of them walked down Nintendo Street, crossed over to Nintendo Lane, jogged down Nintendo Drive, ran across Nintendo Avenue, and found themselves standing in a cornfeild.

"Marth?" Mario stood infront of the tall handsome blue-haired man, picking corn. "What the hell are you doin' here?" He peered into Marth's basket filled with the ripe yellow vegetables. "Who picks corn on Saturdays?"

Marth looked up from his basket. "Uh, I think the real question here is- who doesn't pick corn on Saturdays?" He continued yanking peices of corn off of bright green plants.

"Well whatever, did you happen to see Wario run by with Zelda by any chance?" He asked. Marth looked around. He looked left, then right, then up, then down, then sort of up and right, then down and left, then down and right, and up and left. "Nope," he replied. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen anyone for the past two years. You're the first ones! Congratulations!" He sprinked corn on their heads.

Kirby spit out a few corn peices. "Well, if you see them, tell us." He told Marth. "Have fun with your... picking." He waved goodbye, as Mario and him walked away.

"Well that was stupid." Mario said.

All was quiet, as the two of them walked.

They walked until they came across a few cows, grazing in a beautiful pasture of rich green grass.

"Look! Cows!" Kirby quickly waddled over to a big, black and white cow. "You have nice eyes!" He patted the cow's nose. Stuff came out of it. "EW! GO AWAY YOU DUMB COW!"

The cow stubbornly refused to go away, then moo'd.

"Go on! Get!" Kirby tried to cross his little stub arms, but failed miserably. "OH I SUCK AT LIFE!" He burst into tears, and kicked the cow in the leg. The cow began to cry aswell, and plunked itself on the ground next to Kirby.

Mario watched, disgusted.