"Do you know why you're here son?"

That's the question they kept asking me. Over, and over, and over. It's like they think I'm some sort of idiot. I can barely remember a thing, but I'm one of the 5 that survived.

You're probably wondering, who I am, or where I am. I'm Spike, and just two weeks ago I was a unicorn named Twilight's assistant.

Where am I now? In a hidden military bunker, underneath Equestria. It doesn't matter anyways, they're just going to wipe my memory again and I'll be happy little Spike. At least somewhere, deep down, I'll know about the truth. You will as well, that's why I'm writing this. They forgot I was a dragon, they forgot I have the pen, and I have the paper. I'm going to record what happened before I got to this place, to this facility.

So let's go back two weeks, to where this all began.

"Spike," Twilight woke me up. I was trying to get some rest after pulling an all-nighter. I was trying to help her with her research, but you know how these ponies get. It seems like they can all survive on a couple of hours of sleep. It's ridiculous if you ask me.

Anyway, she woke me up. I started breakfast while she started reading again. At around noon Pinkie came around. She was telling us all about her day, " Oh Twilight, it was just the bestest thing ever EVER! I got a letter today saying my family is coming up to visit! I'm so so sooooo excited! Aren't you excited! I think this is the most excited I've ever been. Except for that one time where I just had to tell you how.." It went on like this for about 30 minutes before Twilight shut her up,

"Wow Pinkie. That's great. Are you going to introduce them to us!"

"Of course silly horse! They have to meet ALL of you!"

"Well, I sure am….excited."

"Yay! Ooooo I just have to go set up for the amazingtastic party!"

"You…go do that Pinkie."

Pinkie left, squeaking with delight. I was a little suspicious, and asked Twilight about it all. "Isn't her family a bunch of rock farmers? Why is she so excited?"

"I have no clue Spike. I thought she left them to come to Ponyville."

"It's weird, that's all."

"Well we'll just have to figure out what's going on."

I nodded and got back to organizing books. Twilight sped through a couple passages of Decoding Your Friends: A Guide to Reading Facial Expressions. I, of course, had no interest in reading. I just wanted to get done with my work, eat some delicious gems, and go to sleep. I just knew that that definitely wasn't going to happen.

Pinkie arrived about an hour later, knocking her face against the door once again. Twilight groaned, "Pinkie.. what is it?"

"Can..I come in Twilight?"

"Yeah sure. Just don't break anything."

"Oh..okay."

Something was definitely up. When Pinkie entered the room, something was very wrong indeed. It looked like, but it wasn't. She, somehow had Fluttershy's hairstyle, and her balloons were shaped like butterflies with the same colors. Twilight's eyes widened.

"P-p-pinkie?"

"Um…yes?"

"What…what in the name of Celestia has happened to you."

"Well…um…you see…I can't tell you. I just need you to get a hold of the Princess.. It's very….important."

She even had Fluttershy's tone, but it was Pinkie's voice. I felt like my mind had filled with parasprites. Suddenly Fluttershy flew into the room, and things started to get even weirder. I shrieked with fright, yes like a little filly, "OH MY GOD FLUTTERSHY! YOUR FACE!"

Fluttershy was much worse off than Pinkie. It looked like she swapped faces with a chicken. Looking back on it, it would have been much more hilarious for that to be Scootaloo, but oh well. Maybe I should have just said Scootaloo, but you probably wouldn't know any of the ponies anyway.

"Bwaak?"

Twilight just started twitching, and then fainted. I just looked at the chicken Fluttershy, and the …Flutterpie? Pinkieshy? Whatever the hell it was. We all just exchanged glances for a few minutes before the REAL Pinkie came in.

"Oh hiya Spike! I guess you've met my sisters!"

I winced with skepticism, "Your….sisters?"

"Yeah silly! Don't you see the likeness?"

"No. No Pinkie I don't. What the hell is going on?"

Pinkie stayed silent

She just stared at me and narrowed her eyes, "If I told you Spike, then consequences would never be the same."

Then she left, and I was more confused than I had been in my entire life. I had to get to the bottom of this.