I saw a picture on a site that made this idea pop into my head. Read and review, PLEASE.- Jade.
My Bloody Valentine:
"Happy Valentines day!" They yelled over each other. I sat behind them loathing my least favorite holiday. Boxes wrapped in pretty red paper with ribbons attached to them; I wondered if one of the ribbons would hold my weight so I could hang myself.
They kissed and hugged, oh how I felt so sick and the day had just begun. All over, men would be carrying boxes, flowers, candy and all sorts of wonderful things I never got on Valentines Day. The closest thing to a Valentines Day gift I had gotten was a queen of hearts playing card from a player.
In school all of the boys got their girlfriends beautiful gifts as I sat and watched the lucky girls react. I love yous were exchanged and kisses were left on lips.
I felt as if I were going to be ill so I left the school.
I walked the streets of Bayville; my home for quite a few years now. I couldn't even breathe without seeing a Valentines Day decoration. I just wished I was blind sided by a bus.
As I walked into the manor I saw Storm holding a card. She seemed excited over it and I wasn't in the mood to hear about ruining her thunder, so I walked up the stairs to my room and locked the door. Since it was 12:30 in the afternoon I had time before Kitty came home and gushed about her gifts from Lance.
In my closet was a foot locker. I would usually put important things in it. I rifled through it to find my card. I knew it was only a playing card, but it meant something... to me at least.
I sat at the foot of my bed on the floor and held the card. It was the queen of hearts. I kept it in perfect condition since he gave it to me, it was the only thing I had that reminded me of him.
I felt lonely and annoyed, but mostly lonely. I sat on the floor and remembered the last time I was with him; I always felt good with him. For some reason. My head was heavy with thought and my heart was heavy with longing. It shouldn't have to be this way.
I thought, 'It's been a long time since I've done it.' I had the perfect memory of the last time it happened. I was in my bedroom, the mint green walls all too normal. I pulled a long strand of red behind my ear. There was too much pressure. I couldn't handle being perfect every single second. I needed release, the point of the compass dug into my left wrist and bright red pooled up to the surface of my unmarred skin. 'I gave myself an excuse. It has been a shitty day, it would just be a release.' I convinced myself to do something I haven't done for years. Cut.
She walked to the bathroom with the playing card in hand. She knew that a normal razor wouldn't do it. She had bought an eyebrow razor the weekend before so she didn't need to pluck them as much. She pulled the cap off and sat on the bathroom floor.
She felt the cold floor tiles under her bare legs. She knew the specifics of doing it. To feel in control, a feeling of release, knowing that this is the only thing that would make everything go away for a moment at least.
She held the razor by its plastic handle. The thin strip of metal pressed against her porcelain skin. She pressed it harder until she felt the pinch of the razor slowly ripping through her skin.
The ruby red blood peeked through the tiny gash on her wrist. It was a test run, she wanted to make sure she'd be okay doing it. She didn't want to accidentally end up killing herself in the bathroom on Valentines Day, how dramatic and cliché would that be.
Again she held the razor tightly in her hand. Her fingers were steady and her mind clear. She tugged the razor across her wrist with some pressure. The wound had no blood; she tilted her head to the right than to the left. She wondered why she didn't bleed.
She looked down at the razor and remembered that she had put the cap back on it. She ripped it off and threw it across the tiny room.
This time she made sure it was off and nothing was going to stop her. With a bit more pressure on the blade, she pulled it across her porcelain skin. She felt the agonizing rip and the blood rushing under her skin to reach the surface.
The two inch gash burned and she felt it pulse as if having its own heartbeat. A rush of calm flooded over her as she saw the blood pour out of her. She felt as if she hadn't a worry in the world.
Droplets of blood landed on her pale legs and on the tiled floor. She had placed the queen on the floor and just watched it as if it would do something. She reached over to grab it and tiny blood puddles fell. All but one missed the card, the one solitary blood drop landed onto the queens' face.
She envied the queen, at least the queen had touched upon Remy's heart. All she was to him was a tool. He didn't care for her, didn't love her, he just used her for what he wanted and nothing else. No one else mattered to Remy Le beau but Remy Le beau.
The room began to spin a bit and she realized she forgot to cut off circulation after she had gotten what she wanted. She looked down and her legs and the white floor tiles were covered with blood.
She grabbed a towel and began to sop up the blood on the floor. She got up and walked over to the sink where she had her things set up waiting for her. She cleaned the cut, sealed it with gauze and medical tape; she wrapped it with a cut ace bandage and began to clean up the bloodied floor.
She didn't want anyone to know about her past or what she was doing home in the bathroom at one o'clock in the afternoon. That would definitely be one hell of a conversation.
She grabbed the cleaner from under the sink and splashed it all over the floor. She grabbed one of the garbage can liners and threw the towel into it and tied it. She turned on the shower and washed off the blood that was all over her.
When she got out of the shower, the bathroom was spotless, the way she left it.
As she entered her bedroom she made sure no one was there; Kitty would sometimes flake on classes, so she had to be careful. She pulled out a long sleeved white shirt and a short sleeved maroon one and layered them. A pair of destroyed jeans seemed the most comfortable and the least awkward to put on, especially with a tender wrist.
Dressed again she pulled up her left sleeve to examine her cut. She unwrapped the bandages and pulled off the tape. It was red, irritated and seemed very angry. She would flex her wrist and feel the burning pulling of the injury. She watched it spread and come together again and again. Yeah, she was a bit of a masochist.
The door slammed open and Rogue jumped. Kitty couldn't use her occupied hands as they were full of presents and cards. Kitty dropped her things on her bed and skipped into the bathroom. Rogue quickly put the tape in place and wrapped the bandages.
As Kitty walked out of the bathroom, Rogue was fastening her black gloves. Rogue headed for the door when Kitty stopped her. "So, all of us are going out tonight for V-day. You in?"
Rogue shook her head "Ah cant. Ah've got plans. Plus who'd wanna be with a buncha lovey dovey couples on Valentines day. Not me, that's for sure."
Kitty frowned "We are so not leaving you home alone on Valentines day. What kind of friends would we like be?"
Rogue smiled an impish smile and said "The best friends any girl in the world would have."
Kitty folded her arms over her chest "I so don't think so. Plus, were going as a group and not as couples. It won't be that bad."
Rouge turned away from her and said "Bet on it."
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Walking to the movie theater, Kitty grabbed on Rogues left arm and pulled her close. On Kitty's left was Lance and it was obvious that he wanted Kitty to hold onto him like that and not her friend.
Kitty pulled and Rogue winced in pain as the gash ripped open. Kitty stopped and asked "What's wrong?"
Rogue thought quickly and said "Monster cramp."
Kitty shook it off and pulled Rogue along.
The movie sucked. It was sappy and full of love which was the opposite of what Rogue was in the mood for. She wished for blood and gore. She wanted to watch the couples in love get ripped apart by a psycho killer; she would have felt better about going to the movies if she were able to see that.
She sat in the movies with three couples who at the sappy parts began to make out in their seats. Kitty made Rogue sit with her and Lance; they were inches away from her and all she saw was hair and elbows, hair and elbows.
When the movie finally let out the three couples wanted to see another. Rogue was okay with it. She let them buy their tickets first to the next sappy love story movie; when it was her turn she bought a ticket to the new horror 'The Pit.'
When they realized she bought a ticket to another movie Kitty and Kurt complained, but Rogue just walked off to her theater. She sat for an hour and a half watching people get eaten alive by this slimy pit monster. She was happy, she enjoyed herself especially when a couple had gotten eaten. She Laughed. Good for 'em.
When her movie let out she was in a chipper mood. She was going to see it again. She didn't wait for the others to come out of their movie, she just went home.
She skipped seeing all the Valentines loving people and went straight to her room. It was dark and that's how she wanted it. She wanted to feel the release again. It was practically calling her name in a sing song type of way.
She walked into the bathroom and pulled out the bloodied razor. She knew she had forgotten to do something, she forgot to clean her razor. She thought to herself Good thing Kitty is a dunce. For the most part. Ah gotta be more careful.
Someone was coming from her room. His soft foot falls weren't heard by her. He watched as she cleaned the razor; he raised his eyebrow. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching as she obliviously continued what she was doing.
All of the blood was cleaned off the razor and she pulled up her sleeve. She pulled off her bandages and her moist wound was revealed.
To his horror he put one and one together. He never thought- not her. She was okay, not one of them crazy girls who would hurt themselves. But she was. He was seeing that for himself.
She decided to herself if she cut close to the original one she'd need only one bandage and it would be easier to care for. She presses the razor lightly to her skin to determine how close it would be. She raised the razor again to cut when she heard him.
"Wat in de hell are ya doin, petite?"
She turns so quickly she drops the razor onto the floor. She sees the horror that has adorned his face. He rushes her and grabs her left wrist. She was so shocked she didn't say anything to him, her eyes said it all.
"Why you do dis ta ya self. You gon kill ya self. Dat wat ya want?" He looks into her eyes and asks "Dat wat ya want petite? Ya wanna die?"
She couldn't look at him she just says in an almost silent tone "No."
He responds with "What da hell you doin den, huh? Takin a sample."
She looks down at the ground "You wouldn't understand. No body would."
He closes the distance between them and says "Try ta explain it den. Remy wanna know why his petite cuttin her wrists open if she don wanna die. Remy don think dat he be okay wit out his Chere, so explain."
He used one of his gloved hands to cup her face and the other to brush back the hair and tears from her face. He said one last thing "Dis world won be good wit out you here Chere I would have nothing to think bout. What would Remy do wit out his Chere?"
A/N: The cutting flashback; obviously I'm a Degrassi TNG fan. I figured that the compasses were readily available to young people and I was absorbed by the scene when I saw Ellie using the compass to cut, so I had to put that in.