Okay, so they (and Fluffy2044) wouldn't leave me alone. But I like the fic the way it is, so... out takes! Or something. Set sometime in the middle of the fic.
It was one of those nights.
As Batman, he figured he'd have many nights like this, and he had. But the Batmoblie being stolen on top of everything else (at least he'd gotten Two-Face back into Arkham) was just too much.
Sighing, he flipped out one of his many gadgets, tracking the Batmoblie's signal to the outskirts of Gotham.
"What. The hell," he said, swooping down to land mere feet away from where the Joker was leaning against his car.
"Sweetie!" the Joker exclaimed, clinging to Batman as soon as he got close enough. "I haven't seen in forever!"
"That's because I was busy throwing your friends back into jail," Batman ground out.
"Well, yes," the Joker agreed. "But don't you have any time for mmmeee?"
"No."
Pouting, the Joker drew back. "How mean of you."
"I'm Batman," Batman said. "I'm supposed to be mean. And scary."
The Joker giggled.
Batman blinked a few times behind the mask. "I don't scare you anymore do I?"
"Honey, that's because I sleep with you ever night," the Joker giggled, drawing a finger down the chest of the amour.
"So why did you steal my car?"
Rolling his eyes, the Joker leaned his whole weight against Batman. "You were igggnooorrring me. What else was I supposed to do to get your attention? In times past when I broke out I'd be your number one priority."
Almost fondly, Batman wrapped his arms around the Joker. "Because you were dangerous. You promised me you wouldn't hurt people anymore. I wish I could have all the time in the world to spend with you and Alfred and Dick and Tim, and be with the people I … care about. But I swore to protect this city and those trying to harm it take that priority. So if you really want that…"
"I'd have to give up this," the Joker finished. "I know and I won't. I told you, that all got so borrring. But I do miss some things about those days."
Now the Batman was smiling fondly. "Can I have my car back now?"
"Nope!" and like that the smile was gone.
"What do you mean, no?" Batman demanded.
"I stole your car so you'd pay attention to me. Two-Face put away?"
"Yes."
"Any other big bads out?"
"Well, no, but that's not the point, there are other criminals that need catching and—"
"You'll get your car back after you've had sex with me. Preferably in it."
Batman paused and then slowly grinned. He pushed at the Joker until he hit the car. "I think the outside of it will be much more… comfortable."
"I can live with that," the Joker grinned.
Then Dick and Tim walk by XD. "Just look away Tim, just look away!" I'm going to sleep now...