This is my first Harry Potter FanFic. Don't kill me if it's terrible. If you cannot take stupid humor, go away.
Voldemort: Hello, my name is Tom Morvolo Riddle, better known as the Dark Lord Voldemort, and this is the first Death Eater presidential debate! I'm here with Bellatrix and Rudolphus LeStrange, Fenrir Greyback, and Peter Pettigrew.
Bellatrix: My husband, Rudolphus, and I will be siding with Barak Obama.
Fenrir: Hello. Me and Peter will be siding with John McCain, but only for sake of taking the other side.
Voldemort: Now let the debate begin!
Bellatrix: I think McCain doesn't have very good solutions for the economy.
Fenrir: But neither does Barak Obama. What about Joe the Plumber?
Bellatrix: Joe the Plumber doesn't have a plumbers license.
Peter: But Obama wants to take away money from small businesses. Anybody who makes over 250,000 US Dollars per year will get more taxes.
Bellatrix: But that makes it so lower, middle class people get tax relief and affordable health care.
Fenrir: But that's like communism.
Bellatrix: So?
Fenrir: But that's not what the US was built on!
Bellatrix: ...SO?
Fenrir: The US was built on unalienable rights for people!
Bellatrix: ...We're death eaters. What do we care if people suffer?
Fenrir: But the debate is ABOUT helping people choose the president!
Bellatrix: Honey, you haven't said a word since the debate began.
Rudolphus: Yeah, I know. I've been thinking.
Bellatrix: And..?
Rudolphus: Being death eaters aside, we're all in the UK.
Bellatrix: Your point being..?
Rudolphus: Then why do we bloody care?
At this point, everyone just stops.
Everyone: Rudolphus is right...
Rudolphus: Of course I am.
Bellatrix: We better hit the button...
Bellatrix presses a button and a barrage of cheerleaders rush Rudolphus and end up killing him.
Bellatrix: Oh no!!! Ah well.
Bellatrix simply walks over to Voldemort and seduces him.
Voldemort: B-Bellatr-trix..?
Bellatrix: Master...
Bellatrix's voice is sexy and seductive.
Bellatrix: I'm so glad that fool is finally dead...Now you and I can be together...
Bellatrix drags Voldemort into her room and locks the door.
Peter: Okay, then...
GreyPandaRocks13: Hey, I wanna talk too!
Narutoast grabs his girlfriend's witch robe.
Narutoast: Honey, calm down.
GreyPandaRocks13 is trying desperately to pull away from Narutoast's grip.
GreyPandaRocks13: But I wanna pet Fenrir!
Fenrir stares at GreyPandaRocks13, and she breakes from Narutoast's grip.
Narutoast: H-Hey wait!!!
GreyPandaRocks13 rips the door open and runs in to chase Bellatrix, Narutoast rushes in to get GreyPandaRocks13, but soon runs back out.
Narutoast looks severely scarred, taking deep, heaving breaths.
Fenrir: What in the world happened in there!?
Narutoast: Ugh...Bellatrix...Voldemort...No cloak...Wah!!!
Narutoast proceeds to fall on the floor from hyperventalation.
Fenrir: Okay, then... I guess we'll see you later.
Peter: We'll see you on the next,
Both: Death Eater Corner Time!
I don't know if I like how this turned out, but it's by special request of my girlfriend that I put her in this. I need feedback. I also tried a new form of writing. I don't want anything brutally honest or anything meant to hurt, just some feedback on what you thought of the story. I hope y'all enjoyed this at least a little. If the stupid humor didn't get her, think of the idea behind the story. Harry Potter and politics. Think about it. If THAT doesn't put a smile on your face, I don't know what will.