Authors note!: OMG it's my first authors note! I just totally want to apologize for my drunken post of Getting it on Part one. I didn't actually mean for that to make it into the public eye! Hahaha... We all do crazy things when we're drunk! Teehee. UNICORNS!
Konoha was practically buzzing with laziness and love. There wasn't much to do since all the bad guys had been defeated totally. With the exception of Orochimaru who actually survived. He jumped out of Sasuke's head and was able to continue his tragic but beautiful love affair with Konohamaru. That dirty stealing bastard. YOU CANNOT DO RASENGAN.
Oh yeah, spoilers for the manga, btw.
As I was saying, Konoha needed some serious action. If you know what I mean! And I think you do, because you clicked on this story. For serious. It's going to be amazing. Let me just tell you right now, if you don't love my other stories, you won't love this one. YOU WILL DIE FOR IT. Because it is that amazing. And that totally made sense to me personally. So, I hope it made sense to you!
So one day, in this magical peace ridden Konoha Danzou and Pein were chilling out on a couch together. They were curled into each other in a spoon like position. Danzou was totally the bitch in this relationship. Pein had his nose pressed into Danzou's neck as he gleefully watched the images flickering on the television screen. There are televisions in Konoha, ps. Because they live in a very strange alternate universe of electricity and ninjas.
Anyhow. The delightful tunes wafting from the television were lulling Pein into a orgasmic stupor. If Danzou wasn't careful, he was going to get it pretty rough. The television was egging him on with words like "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, WITH A GREAT BIG HUG and a KISS from me to YOU, won't you say you love me too?"
Oh yeah, it was getting him hot and bothered. Danzou was lazily watching the screen his lips turned down in frightened confusion. Pein bit his neck and raised his lips to Danzou's ear. "Won't you say you love me too, Danzou?" Pein whispered seductively into his lover's ear.
Danzou shivered with anticipation as Pein's hands began to wander in a mischievous way. "Oh, Barney, why do you do this to me?" Pein whimpered, rubbing against Danzou's behind. "Let's make sweet love my little dorito." They have doritos in Konoha, ps.
And no one heard from Danzou or Pein for a scyther amount of time. They were far too occupied for that. Barney's musical stylings drifted through the apartment the whole time as they made love on every single surface calling out Barney's name.
–
So, Danzou and Pein were not the only ones totally getting it on in Konoha this time. And they certainly weren't the only hot gay couple. Next comes Gai and Lee.
–
JUST KIDDING. Moving on, to a real couple. (Because ew, that was just gross. Oh man. What was I thinking. Shudder!)
You know what we haven't done yet, though? A threesome. A threesome in the form of NejiGaaraSai. They were pretty much destined for each other to be the best lovers in all of existence.
Neji was sitting down in a chair reading a scroll and studying jutsu. Gaara was playing in the sand. And Sai was staring around creepily. It was pretty much turning the other two on.
Gaara sent out a tendril of sand to caress against Sai's cheek. "What are you doing?" Sai asked, tilting his head.
"Just a little foreplay," Gaara said dismissively, forming his sand into a hard, oblong object. Much like the one in his pants.
Neji rolled his eyes (haha, can you imagine?) and looked up at the other two. "I'm trying to learn," He whined.
"You are already magnificent," Sai insisted, hopping down from his perch and landing on Neji's lap. "I just want to make out with you all the time," Sai pressed his cold, dead lips against Neji's.
Gaara positively giggled. Oh, these were excellent times. Pouncing upon the other two, he prepared them for the most awesome lovemaking session that they ever did experience. For serious. But I won't write it out, because it would be too amazing for our minds to comprehend.
–
I think I've pointed this out already, but just to reiterate, I totally love heterosexual couples too. Like the female Konoha elder and the runny nose kid from Konohamaru's group. They were having hot sex in the hot springs. Oh yeah. Runny nose kid couldn't keep himself away from the female elder. He had risked danger by jumping into the female section of the hot springs and totally taking her in front of all the other women. They were totally amazed by his skill and dexterity. Some of them were really hot just seeing the size of his throbbing member.
–
Sasuke was sitting in the middle of the road.
"What are you doing, Sasuke," Naruto asked puzzled? But all the same, he sat in Sasuke's lap and totally cuddled up on him.
"I'm waiting for you, so we can put on a show," Sasuke insisted. "Sakura bet me 20 dollars, I wouldnt' make love to you in public," Sasuke snorted. "Easiest 20 bucks I ever made," He grinned, beginning to strip his beautiful blond lover.
Naruto wiggled out of Sasuke's grasp. "No! I can't do that in public. Only you can see me naked, Sasuke," Naruto insisted, already shirtless.
"Suck it up, Naruto," Sasuke said, grabbing him back.
In the shadows, Chiyobaasama was snickering as she fingered her girlfriend. These two were total amateurs. She could totally show them how it was done in public with Sakura. Like they did at least twice a day. For serious.
Tsunade walked by and saw Sasuke preparing Naruto for entrance. "What are you doing?" She asked, completely horrified.
Sasuke threw a kunai at her.
Kiba took the bullet, breaking his other arm. It was totally unfortunate. And Tsunade didn't have time to really chastise the two boys for public displays of indecency because she had to go rescue her lover.
The end.
WAIT!
I forgot to mention my favorite couple! (Apart from ChiyoSaku okay, I would never disgrace them like that.) But gay couple. (I mean, apart from Sasunaru.) Okay! Our favorite pedophile couple.
Konohamaru was cuddling his baby to his chest. Orochimaru gazed upon his bride and his snakey baby. It was growing up so fast! Pretty soon it could join in on their lovemaking sessions.
But not right now. In a couple years. Like ten. Kabuto took the child away from Konohamaru because he noticed the glint in Orochimaru's eyes. They were going to make another baby. And they would repopulate this world in their own fashioning.
So basically, they spent all day totally fucking.
The end. For actually.