There's mistletoe - frigging mistletoe - hanging up in the backseat of his Baby.
Dean knows this because, well, he has eyes.
He tries to glare the stupid sprig of a plant out of existence every time he glances in the rearview mirror.
Like that will help. Like that will make the situation go away.
Not that there is a situation, of course.
There is definitely not one.
There is definitely not any reason for him to want to pull over in the middle of the road and fling the damn thing across four lanes of traffic.
And if there is a reason, it's certainly not Castiel related.
And most certainly not 'Destiel' or 'Deestiel' or whatever the hell related.
He and Cas are not now, nor will they ever be, a thing.
And Sam needs to get that through his thick skull before doing stupid things like hanging up Christmas decorations just to fuck with him.
It's not even a good idea. Like, sure, Cas is usually in the backseat, if he's in the Impala.
But when is Cas ever in the Impala?
Dude's gone more than most of the time.
And even saying he were back from whatever holy mission he and his lady friend were off on, and he was sitting in the backseat, was Dean going to be back there with him?
No, he'd be driving.
It doesn't even make sense, from a logistical standpoint.
So, if Sam really wants to set him up with Cas, and, really, Dean doesn't want to question how his brother gets his jollies, he needs to come up with something way better than frigging mistletoe.
Not that he's going to say that or anything.
Because, well, Sam didn't actually say why he hung it up.
Not the real reason.
Just that it looked festive.
Well, festive his ass.
But he's not saying a damn word about it.
And so the mistletoe situation, or non-situation, as the case may be, goes on for about two weeks before Dean more or less forgets about it. Like, it's still hanging back there, but it's sort of become part of the scenery. And he hasn't heard a peep from Cas in longer.
So the non-situation has also become sort of a non-issue - a matter which Dean tries not to think too hard about. At least, not until Cas rings him up on December 23.
Once he's read the caller ID, his eyes immediately, tellingly flick to the rearview mirror, and Sam is smirking at him.
His mouth is strangely dry by the time he manages to croak out, "Hey, Cas. What's up?"
"Dean, I... Christmas, it's an important holiday..." Dean isn't sure if Cas is asking him or telling him, and he's trying not to get ahead of himself about about where Cas is going with this, partly because he's not sure he can handle Sam being around the two of them right now - because Sam is kind of being an ass - and partly because, well, "...one that family should be together for."
Dean's throat is dry and tight, and he's trying to ignore how Sam is drawing a heart in the fogged glass of the passenger side window. "Uh, yeah. Usually how it's supposed to work... why?"
"Where are you?" Cas asks, which Dean can't do anything with because it's not an answer.
"Outside Phoenix, just dusted a pack - a freaking pack - of chupacabras. Heading back to Lebanon now...could meet us there, you know... if you want."
Dean's pretty sure he's letting his mouth get ahead of his thoughts on this one. Because Cas isn't going to be able to meet them. That's not what he wants. He was just making idle conversation. He sort of knows how to do that now. Sort of.
"I will be there," Cas says.
And like that, Dean's grinning stupidly and making a point of not looking at Sam. Or the "Dean & Cas" scribbled in Sam's heart. "Great...that's, uh, great. That, that what you called for?"
"That and... there's an evergreen tree tied to the roof of my car; I'd really like somewhere else to put it," Cas says. "Can you take it off my hands?"
"Where'd you get a Christmas tree?" Dean tries not to grin wider and Sam adds "4 ever" to the heart. Dean flicks him off.
"An elderly couple. They suggested I find my Christmas spirit with it," Cas says. "I'm not yet sure what I'm meant to be looking for. I will let you know if it works."
"Christmas spirit's not a thing, Cas," Dean says, and there's an irritated huff on the other end of the line.
"I'm well aware of that... that does not mean I am incapable of finding it," Cas says. "Remember that a human soul too is intangible, yet I can ...could see them as though they were intricate orbs of light. And even now, I can sense them. The beauty of them. I imagine that, though I will notsee my 'Christmas spirit,' I will sense it."
"Yeah, okay, buddy," Dean says. "You go sensing away then."
"I will see you tomorrow, Dean," Cas says shortly before the line goes dead.
Dean looks determinedly down at the steering wheel as Sam says, "Need some flirting 101 tips? Sounds like you blew it."
"Shut it, Sam," Dean growls lowly before muttering pointedly, "Can't blow something you're not doing."
"So that's what you're frustrated about?" Sam asks as he grins wickedly.
"SHUT IT, SAM," Dean stomps on the gas pedal and the sudden jolt in speed startles Sam into doing just that.
A/N: Part 1 of 2. Part 2 will be up before Christmas.