Title: The Benefits of Yoga

Author: Bonnia

Rating: K+

Summary: Rise's attempt at de-stressing the Investigation Team. Dialogue-only oneshot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Persona 4, sadly, and never will. Unless I become the CEO of Atlus someday... hmm...

Author's Note: Well, I came up with this while, quite strangely, doing yoga in gym class. Hopefully I kept everyone in character, and it's not too hard to tell who's speaking. I thought about making it script format, but in the end decided against it. This is also the first thing I have published since remaking my profile, so I'm hoping it gets good reviews.

"Okay guys, let's-"

"Kanji, is that an embroidered yoga mat? Really, dude?"

"Y-yeah, so what? It's got Pengu-chan doin' yoga on it! You gotta problem with that, Yosuke-senpai?"

"Uh, of course not..."

"Ooh, I love it Kanji-kun! But-"

"Rise-san? What is this contraption?"

"Uh, that's an eyelash curler Naoto-kun, and-"

"Oh, I know those! There was this one time Chie was sleeping over, and-"

"I thought we agreed to never mention that again, Yukiko."

"…"

"Okay then! Let's get started! Everyone lay out their mats. And no, Teddie, we can't share a mat."

"Aww..."

"No. Anyways... Okay. Um, I've been doing yoga ever since I was an idol, and it really helps you reduce stress. And you know, with the case and all we've all been really worked up, so I thought it was a good idea! Mkay, then we can start with something easy, like... the Downward Dog! Get on your hands and knees... then spread your legs and raise up into the air like this... and focus on your breathing. Try finding a balance between the air you inhale and exhale..."

"…"

"Uh, Rise? 'Sthis supposed to be relaxing?"

"...Yes, Kanji-kun. Just be quiet and focus on your breathing."

"…"

"Teddie's arms hurt..."

"That's 'cause you've got no muscles."

"Shut up, I do too have muscles Yosuke! How else would I attract so many pretty girls? They're also why sample ladies always give me more, right?"

"I thought that was the sparkles..."

"Those too. … Do you like my sparkles, Chie-chan?"

"Uh..."

"Don't talk to her in that sleazy voice, Ted! Actually, don't use that voice on anyone, old sample ladies included. And the sparkles make you look like a vampire."

"…"

"Yosuke-senpai, how is it you associate sparkles with vampires?"

"Uh-"

"Yosuke-kun, you've read Twilight too! Isn't Edward dreamy~"

"You and your crazy Team Edward, Yukiko... but wow Yosuke, I never saw you as the type to read Twilight. Or to read in general."

"Shut up Chie! A-anyway, I only read it 'cause my sister forced me at the thread of snapping my headphones. I-I certainly didn't want to. These babies've been through a lot with us, haven't you... ?"

"…"

"Anyways..."

"What are vampires, Yuki-chan?"

"Well, Teddie, vampires are wonderful, beautiful creatures that sparkle in the sun and can run as fast as-"

"Don't listen to her Teddie, the werewolves were so much better. Not that I have an opinion or anything. Right."

"Guys, back to the yoga and relaxing, please?"

"Teddie, vampires are supernatural, fake beings that sustain themselves on biting a human or animal and drinking blood from their veins."

"Aah! I don't wanna be a vampire!"

"Keep in mind, Teddie, that vampires are completely superstitious and do not exist."

"Guys, back to the yoga please?"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Naoto-kun... Once, me and Chie were walking to school, and then-"

"Yukiko, I thought we both agreed that was just the light reflecting off of Souji-kun's hair as he fished."

"Guys, please..."

"Hey, where's Senpai anyway? I haven't seen him since gettin' here."

"Guys..."

"Huh, I don't know Kanji... partner's gotta be around somewhere."

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Thank you. Now-"

"Man, that girl's dangerous."

"Anyways, does anyone know where Souji-senpai is?"

"…"

"Rise-chan? Do you know this nice handsome young man? I'm afraid he may have passed out after tasting some of the tofu in the fridge."

"... Oh my god."

~Fin

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