Savannah stood in the backyard, the moon illuminating the sky. It was her and John's time. They'd made a pact to watch the first full moon of the month, and even though John was on the other side of the world watching, she felt connected to him somehow. As she gazed at the bright, white orb, a sudden wind shook her and she came out of her trance. John wasn't watching, and she knew it. He was probably off in a tent somewhere reading the latest Stephen King novel.
A tear trickled down her face as the realization came to her, and she closed her eyes, trying to hold on to the lingering memories of John. His crew cut, his tattoos, the way she felt when she held him. The bad ones came back to her too though. The countless fights they'd had, and that fateful day that would never escape her memory. The day that John said goodbye. Those memories would suffocate her forever.
She had just gotten out of her car and was heading to the hospital, instinct telling her that John would be there visiting Tim, when she saw John approaching her.
"John," she called out to him, breathless, the neediness in her voice evident.
John's body went rigid, and he gave her a stare that was both warm and icy, a stare that sent shivers down her spine.
"You left without saying goodbye last night," she added.
"I know," he said, voice barely audible, avoiding her eyes.
She knew why he had left. In was not only Alan's reaction after visiting Tim, it was her visiting the topic of their non-existent relationship.
"How did you know I was here?" John asked her quizzically.
"I went by the hotel and they told me you checked out. I saw your car when I pulled up and decided to wait for you and say goodbye before you took off," she began, nervousness rising. " Did you visit Tim?"
"Yes. He seems to be doing better, thinks he'll be getting out today."
"That's good. Were you going to say goodbye?" She asked him, knowing the pain was evident on her face.
"I don't know," he answered blankly. Even though he had said he didn't know, she knew he had never planned on saying goodbye.
"So this is it? Goodbye?" she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"Yes," he told her, voice emotionless.
"Can I write you?" she pleaded with him.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," he began, avoiding her glare. "Tim's a great man, Savannah. He's going to get better and I know it. He deserves someone as great as you. What we had, it was great, but it ended a long time ago. You're married to Tim now, and nothing can happen between us."
"Will I ever see you again?" she asked him, tears streaming from her eyes.
"I hope we don't," he told her painfully, finally bringing himself to look at her.
"How can you say that?" She breathed angrily.
"Because it means Tim will survive and get better. And Tim's your husband and he needs you. There's no room for me anymore and there shouldn't be."
Savannah began to sob.
"I love you, Savannah. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'l never forget you. You were my best friend, and I never regret anything that happened between us. You'll always be the bet part of me."
John leaned in and kissed Savannah on the lips.
"Goodbye, Savannah," he whispered in her ear.
"I love you too, John," she sighed, still crying.
And with that John got in the car and drove away forever.
That was nearly a year ago. She never wrote John or attempted any type of communication with him, but he was always in her thoughts. She would check the obituaries and new everyday for updates on death and the war. John was alive, and she refused to believe anything else.
Blinded by moonlight, Savannah felt a drop of rain fall on her forehead.
Heading inside, she opened the back door, took one last look at the disappearing moon and whispered, "I love you too, John."