1. JACOB

It was destiny - I had no choice in the matter

I was picked to be his before I was even born

He was picked to be mine before he even knew

So why did it feel so wrong?

My parents had explained to me what imprinting was. I understood that Jacob had no choice and that he was mine forever. Although I technically had a choice, it was hard to choose anyone other than Jacob. He was destined for me and because of the imprinting; his whole being was about making me happy. It was about being the best Jacob he could be for me. Whatever I needed, he became. He was my teacher, mentor, best friend, bodyguard…and soul mate. Even though it made perfect logical sense, I just felt like I deserved at least some choice.

Was I not allowed to choose? Did fate hold its grasp on my life and I was merely a puppet with strings? I could choose to drink blood or eat human food. I could choose to drive to see Grandpa Charlie or run. I could choose to sleep outside or in my warm bed. Those were the small choices. But the big ones, were those already decided for me?

I realize some choices are made for me. Where I go to school, what state I live in, and even what I am: a half-human half-vampire hybrid. Those I understood, they were still choices but made by my parents. I may or may not have some input into the matter. But love? Eternity? Shouldn't I have some say in those? Shouldn't love be my choice?

Don't get me wrong, Jacob is great. I can't think of someone I would rather be with. Every boy I meet I compare to Jacob or my Dad; and for that matter, Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper also. I'm not complaining at all about who was picked by fate to be mine. Definitely not. Kudos to fate. It's just that I would've wanted to pick Jacob on my own. I kind of feel cheated from the whole experience. Meet a guy, date him for a little while, meet his parents, fall in love, get married, and have babies. Shudder.

Ok, let's not think about babies yet. Who even knows if I can have kids? To my knowledge, I am the only female of my kind. Ok - truth - there are others like me. A couple. But I don't know much about them. They live down in South America. I haven't seen them since I was a baby. This in all honestly was only a couple years ago. My…uniqueness…includes rapid aging until I am seven years old. Then I will reach my physical maturity. I'll technically be an adult. Living on my own. Free to experience the world and all the dangers and thrills it has to offer. And that brings me back to choice. Could I choose to leave and experience it all or would my love for Jacob keep me in Forks, Washington?

I could choose to leave, sure. I know I could. Saying I have no choice and that fate forced this upon me is a lie. No, not exactly a lie. This was forced upon me. But at any time I can play the "Screw you fate" card and leave. But then I would have to deal with the agonizing pain of a broken heart and I've seen what that can do to you. Well not exactly seen, but my mother has told me enough about it. When my Dad left her for months because he thought it was safer for her. That was when she met my Jacob. Well, she knew him before hand, but she re-met him.

Suddenly a bell rang interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at the clock and class had escaped my attention. I was way smarter than this entire school. It was hard to ignore it. My first day of school was agonizingly boring. I was finally old enough to go to a real school with real kids and my excitement was burst like a dam holding back a lake crashing down on the town below. Being so close to seven, my aging had been slowed to a rate that anymore changes would just seem like a growth spurt. I looked about sixteen maybe seventeen. I could easily pass for eighteen if I tried.

The cover story was that Carlisle and Emse, my grandparents, had adopted another girl to join their family: me. I, of course, am not adopted. I am their adopted son's daughter. I had been homeschooled until I was sixteen; which was partially true except I had only been homeschooled until I was six and three quarters.

"Renesmeé," the teacher called.

Damn, I drifted into thought again. All the other students were gone. "Yes?" I asked.

"Is there something I can do for you? Do you understand the homework? Do you need me to show you out to the parking lot?"

No. Yes. No. Well actually I change my mind. The answer to the first question is yes. You can do something for me. You can leave me alone! Second, yes I understand the homework. Even in the painful torture of sitting through this class and not paying attention, my ears and perfect memory recorded every brutal second of it. Thank you very much. And no, I know exactly where the parking lot is. If I wished, I could walk in a perfectly straight line to it and just knock down every wall from here to there.

This was going to be a long school year. "No thank you, Mrs. Trumbel. I think I can find my way out," I said cordially. No need to tick her off the first day. I could save that for later when I show her I know every answer to every question she ever has. I'll prove to her how much smarter I am than she is. Sure she can wave her fancy degree in my face. I'll laugh and shred it to pieces. Degrees. Just give me a few decades and I'll major in every field known to man. I'll make Albert Einstein look like a 2 year old.

Damnit. Mom warned me about this. I'm being smug. Rude even. So what if Mrs. Trumbel couldn't hear me. I needed to have respect for humans. It isn't their fault they are so inferior. No, not inferior, just different. Humans had some advantage that vampire's didn't. I guess I gained the best of both worlds. But could I really call humans inferior and not say the same about vampires? I truly was superior to both species. Yet I couldn't let that get to me. I had to remind myself…oh wait..

I stood up, gathered my books, and headed for the door. Remember was the key here. I had to remember to be human as much as possible. Standing-or sitting-still for too long made me look too much like a vampire. Or at least not human. I turned left down the hallway and proceeded for the locker. I had only glimpsed at the combo on the piece of paper I got from the receptionist in the office when she handed me my class schedule. I had thrown it away. It didn't matter; my combo was safely stored somewhere in my vast database of trivial knowledge. I could go on jeopardy and win some big money. Not that I needed it, my family was rich.

I reached my locker. 34 to the left, 17 to the right, 40 to the left again, and BAM unlocked. I tugged but it didn't come open. I spun the dial again. 34 to the left, 17 to the right, 40 to the left again. Nothing. Did I have the right locker? I looked up at the number and it was correct: B57. I could break the lock, but it really wasn't worth it. I tried my combo again. 34 to the left, 17 to the right, 40 to the left. Damnit! Nothing. I fought the urge to pound my locker into a ball and hurl it across the hallway.

Jacob laughed behind me and I could sense a hint of mischievousness.

"What did you do?" I demanded. My voice was as hard and angry as it's angelic sound could muster.

He gave me that Jacob-smile that neither my mother nor I could resist. Damn. "Aww c'mon, Nessie. It's just a lil joke, don't get upset." He stuck his tongue out at me.

Pfft. A joke. "What did you do?" I demanded again.

"I called your Dad. He drove by, read your mind, and told me your combo. I changed it. C'mon, that's funny. You shoulda seen your face when your perfect bloodsucker memory couldn't remember."

"Shh, Jacob."

"Oh, right. Oops." Jacob was less concerned with being discovered as I was. He isn't a bloodsucking half-vampire like me but he has a secret of his own. My Jacob is a werewolf. Or shape-shifter, whatever you want to call it. He was the alpha of his pack, their leader. So what if his secret came out, who would be upset? Billy? But if my secret got out, I would be in violation of the vampire laws and I would be sentenced to death by the Volturi family; the vampire royal family. The vampire police.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I came to pick you up from your first day of school. How'd it go?"

"Fine." That was a lie. It was not fine, I was bored out of my mind.

"You alright?"

Ugh. Quit asking. Damnit, Jacob didn't deserve this from me either. I loved him. Surely no matter the boringness of my day, I could treat him as such. "I'm alright. It was a boring day. How was your first day without me?"

"Torture. I wanted to stand outside the window of every class so I could see you. But I felt that would be too stalker-ish."

I laughed. Jacob was so funny and not embarrassed to express his feelings. To anyone else, he would have seemed a little weird, but that is what I loved the most about him. He was so passionate about me that I could forgive anything weird about him.

"You want to go get an ice cream?" he suggested as he entered my new combo into the lock. I watched the lock, picking up each number he stopped on. The locker swung open.

Human food. Definitely not my favorite, but I could eat it. I smiled and reached for his overgrown hand. "Sure, let's go." He grabbed my books from my other hand and shoved them in the locker. Then he slammed it closed.

"The new dairy queen?" he suggested.

"Where else would we go?"

"I don't know, we could go out of town. Maybe to…"

"Jacob," I interrupted. "You know my mom forbids me to leave Forks or La Push." Another choice that wasn't mine to make. If it was mine, I would follow Jacob anywhere. If it was my choice, I'd marry Jacob tonight and we'd escape to a remote island in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Not that I wanted to leave my family, just that I loved Jacob so much.

I guess that answers my question about choice though. If I had the choice, I'd still be with Jacob. Then again, was I saying that because the lack of choice has wound my life in a direction that I could only be with Jacob or was I saying it because even if Jacob didn't become everything I needed, he would still be everything I needed? I guess I could never know.

Jacob sensed my deep thought, I could tell when he looked at me, but he didn't say a word. It was a bad idea for him to interrupt my thoughts. Especially when he was holding my hand. If I wanted him to know, I would show him. I could tell he wanted to know though. His eyes were trying to pierce my thoughts and dig deep into my psyche excavating all relevant information. Well too bad you're not my Dad, Jacob.

My Dad is a gifted vampire. It's impossible to keep a secret from him, unless my mom was in on it. My Dad has the ability to read minds and my mom has the ability to shield me from him. If I ever needed to keep a secret from him, I had to fess up to her. And then he would know I had a secret anyway and eventually he'd find out. So my family was pretty honest and open. Embarrassment could not be a factor. If I really thought about the things that my Dad knew I thought about Jacob, I would die. I would light a fire and crawl on top of it and burn.

Luckily he has learned to keep his snickering to himself. So I blissfully ignore the truth: he does know. As long as Jacob didn't know. I shot Jacob a quick picture of me kissing him as he opened the door to his car. Just a little something to calm his nerves. I sat down and he closed the door behind me. He still drove the rabbit even though my Dad offered to buy him any car he wanted. All he had to do was point and choose.

"Hey Jake, long time no see," said a girl's voice. I immediately spun in my seat. There, a little stupid teen girl with a little skirt was flirting with my Jacob. I half-considered leaping out of his car and breaking her neck. I could do it; I was stronger than any human. I could crush her just as easily as she could crush a fly. And what is up with that skirt. Not that it bothers me, but it's cold in forks; for a human.

"Hey Carla," Jacob said. I watched him walk past her without hesitation. Good. Although I knew he would do it anyway. He was imprinted to me. That means that other girls don't hold any attraction to him. But she was trying. She immediately stepped around and in front of him. Is she blind? Can she not see me sitting right here?

"So, uhh, it's been awhile. We haven't seen you around much. Now that we moved to Forks from La Push, I never get to see you anymore." Moved to Forks from La Push? Is this her? Really? Could it be? It is. Carla. I should have known. It didn't click at first, but Carla used to play with me and Jacob when she was eight. She wanted to babysit me, but that was not going to happen. Number one, she was eight. Number two, I was a bloodsucking half-vampire with incredible super-human speed and strength. Now she is fifteen, she looks so different.

"Yeah well, I've been busy?" It sounded like a question but I wasn't sure. He wasn't very convincing, in my opinion.

"Ohh, yeah, right. Always at the Cullen residence. You need to get out more Jake. Who is your friend?" She looked in the window and waved at me.

Jacob choked. What could he say? Well Carla, this is that little infant girl you used to play with when you were eight and she looked three. Now she looked even older than you. Yeah right. She'd probably slap him at how absurd that sounds. Just the thought nearly made me chuckle.

"She is uhh, well. Carlisle just adopted her. Her name is Renesmeé." I shuddered when he told her the truth. Maybe he was betting on her only knowing me as Nessie. It was the name everyone called me. Luckily she didn't question it. I watched her shrug.

"Well, I'd really like to see you around some. I really miss you. I haven't seen any of my friends from La Push for awhile now. But you're so close, you're here in Forks every day. Come see me."

"Uhh, I don't think so. I'm busy…a lot."

"At the Cullens. Doing what?"

"Stuff."

"Whatever, Jake. I just wanted to hang out. Go ahead and be a jerk." She walked past him, trying to bump into his arm to reinforce her anger, but all it did was make her bounce off Jacob's rock solid body. She nearly fell over. I laughed from inside the car and she heard me. She stomped away.

Jacob pulled open the driver door and slide inside. "Girls," he said.

"Uhh, right here!" I said.

"You're not like those girls, Ness. You're different."

"In so many ways," I shrugged. Sometimes I'd like to just be normal. Not be special. Even by vampire standards I am special. Even by special vampire standards I am special.