THIS LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED WITH A FRIEND AND ME OMFG. DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING AS ALWAYS

Chubby Mochi Kisses

Lance knew Keith loves Mochi more than anything. He just didn't know how far Keith would go to get the last one.

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"Hey Keith, do you want some Mochi?" Lance asked. 'This is gonna be hilarious!' "How the fuck did you get Mochi?!" Keith was already on his feet and walking towards Lance. "Uh, there was an Earth shop at the space mall and they had some?" Lance chuckled, holding a Mochi out for Keith.

"How many did you buy?"

"I got six."

"ONLY SIX?! ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!"

"WOAH WOAH WOAH TAKE A CHILL PILL, KEITH! Yeah, I only got six!"

Keith pinned Lance to the wall. "How many did you already eat?" Keith whispered. He pocketed the Mochi, just in case.

"...four. I ate four already." Lance took a bite of the last Mochi, but a split second later he found Keith's lips on his. His jaw slacked and Keith used the opportunity: he took the Mochi out of Lance's mouth by using his tongue.

Keith pulled away. "Oh my GOD, KEITH! I STILL HAVE ONE!" "Don't you fucking dare try to eat it, then." he said, chewing on Lance's Mochi. He walked away, leaving a blushing and confused Lance behind.

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Pidge laughed. And laughed. And laughed. "I can't believe I caught that on tape, oh Sweet Jesus!" she was crying from how hard he was laughing. "I wonder if there's a space YouTube? SpaceTube?" And so it began.

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Bing! Lance checked the phone Pidge gave him. SpaceTube: Check out this video: Red Paladin kisses Blue Paladin over a mochi!

"I WILL BURN HER AT THE STAKE!"

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"Wow Keith, I never thought you would kiss someone." Shiro chuckled. "Especially Lance!" Hunk added. "Wha- but- I- How did you find out?! I thought we were alone!" Keith sputtered. "Pidge uploaded it on SpaceTube and I thought Shiro might like to know." Hunk shrugged.

"Pidge is a dead woman." Keith growled.

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"It was too good not to upload it!" Pidge laughed. Keith and Lance towered over her laughing form, both with their Bayards activated. Shiro and Hunk were looking for Allura and Coran, thinking 'Maybe they can stop the slaughter.'

Right now, it's free game.

"Here's a good quote from the musical Hamilton: 'Everything is legal in New Jersey.' But I don't think that works right now..." Lance said. "How about 'Everything is legal in space'? Yeah, that sounds about right." Keith added. They grinned like mad men and closed in on Pidge, but then Shiro, Hunk, Coran and Allura arrived.

No manslaughter today.

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The next morning cycle...

After breakfast, the team split up to do their own things. Keith was sitting in the common room, trying to hack into Pidge's laptop. Lance sat down next to him. "Hey Mullet, what are you trying to do?" It wasn't really what he wanted to ask, but he couldn't form the question without it sounding gay. "What does it look like? I'm trying to hack into Pidge's laptop so I can delete the video." Keith responded. "...Hey Lance, do you still have that last Mochi?" "Uh, yeah... Why?" Lance gulped. Keith was looking at him with eyes that would've fitted a serial killer better. He put the laptop on the couch and grabbed Lance's arms. "But, don't go look for it, I hid it and I won't tell you where it is!" Lance threatened. "WHERE. IS. IT. I WANT THAT MOCHI AND I WANT IT NOW!" Keith yelled. "CHILL KEITH! YOU CAN JUST FLY WITH RED AND GET MORE!" "I DON'T HAVE ANY GAK!"

Keith pulled Lance towards him. At that moment, Shiro walked in. Keith loosened his grip and Lance ran to his room, grabbing what might be his only opportunity. "Keith, what did I just walk in on?" Shiro asked. "DAMN IT SHIRO, YOU MADE ME LOSE MY PREY!" Keith dashed after Lance. Shiro just stood there, asking himself what the fuck just happened.

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Lance had a bundle of clothes in his hands when Keith ran in. "TELL ME WHERE YOU HID THE MOCHI!" Keith yelled. Lance screamed for a few seconds because Jesus, Keith scared the crap out of him. "I'll never tell you!" Lance bundled his clothes tighter together and put them in one hand, ready to throw them if Keith advances. Luckily for Lance, Pidge was searching for Keith, telling him to "fucking give her damn laptop back". As Keith turned around, Lance spun and grabbed the last Mochi from a hidden compartment.

But Keith saw him.

There was a long chase around Lance's room, yet before Lance could flee, Keith grabbed him around the waist and reached for the Mochi. "GIVE ME THAT MOCHI LANCE!" "NEVER!" "THEN GIVE ME HALF!" "I PAID FOR THESE, I DESERVE TO HAVE THE LAST ONE!" "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice..." "What? Mullet, what are you-?" Lance burst out laughing. "LORD, OH GOD, STOP KEITH! HAHAHAHAHA!" Keith's last resort: tickling Lance. The Mochi fell to the floor, so Keith grabbed it and tore it into two halves. He ate one piece and shoved the other half into Lance's mouth. "Here. Take it." Keith got up and walked away. Lance choked on the half Mochi, still giggling from when Keith was tickling him.

So Keith doesn't feel the same way. Too bad.

I love you-I love you-I love you

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. SO I'M LANCE, MY FRIEND IS KEITH AND JUST AAAAAAAAAAA

My friend is a girl. I'm a girl. You see what I'm getting at here?

The video wasn't uploaded on YouTube but still, there was a video spread around. And I'm not gay or lesbian or bi, still straight. Good lord, I need to stop thinking about Voltron.

Why can't my phone publish properly? T-T

¡UNTIL NEXT TIME!~