Author's Notes: This is a little one-shot I had been inspired to write thanks to Cubbie's challenge on KAEX regarding the topic of school. This little tale takes place a few months in advance of my story, "Midnight Interlude," and these are my characterizations of the Voltron Force ensemble as seen in my previous Voltron works. And, because I do adore Lance, I absolutely had to include him! As always, I hope I have done justice to the spirit of Voltron.
Disclaimer: I make no money, and I only write about what I enjoy. However, Sergeant Bulldog and Admiral Burke are mine, as they are from "The Waltz Continues."
Summary: Challenge piece posted by Cubbie on KAEX regarding school. Lance dredges up the past, and the moment brings Keith and Allura closer.
Ghosts of the Past
The second-in-command of the Voltron Force was not exuding the fierce devotion he always showed to his team while in battle. Instead, there was a glint of mischief that glowed bright in his brown eyes, the kind of foolery that would undoubtedly cause a rise in temperature and maybe even a shade of embarrassed red to whoever was his helpless victim.
His light brown hair flopped as he ran, and Lance ignored the strands that had grown close to his eyes, their small spikes threatening to poke his eyeballs every time they swung towards his lashes. His mission was of utmost importance – at least to him it was. He moved in double-time, clutching a thin package under his arm. It snugly fit between his ribcage and his elbow, the size slightly larger than a hardcover novel. The box was still covered in a brown wrapper that very closely blended into the russet hue of his bomber jacket.
Remembering the extra smooth section of tile in this part of the hallway, Lance skated through it on the steady soles of his shoes, a maneuver he had done countless times before. Over time, he had developed quite the artistic skid, using the slippery tile as a pivot point so that he didn't have to stop mid-run to change direction, but would instead spin his body easily.
Facing now the entrance he sought, there was a wide grin smeared across his face, the kind of grin that was normally reserved for a giddy school girl looking for her best friend to talk about how the boy of her crush had just said "Hello" to her in the hallway.
With the skidding point past him, Lance righted his feet on the flooring tiles once more and then stepped quickly into the entrance of the common room. His eyes darted around the room, and within bare seconds he had taken inventory of the recreational equipment that consisted of a billiards table, a dartboard, a view screen, a music player, and some books. Just by hearing the quiet in the room, Lance knew that his fellow pilot, Hunk, was not present. The big man with a kind heart and a gentleness for others never went anywhere without his music, and if the room was quiet, it meant Hunk was elsewhere, blasting the music of his heavy metal guitar and rhythmic drum gods elsewhere. And, if Hunk was gone most likely, his partner-in-crime, Pidge was as well. The two were as inseparable as brothers could be, but with Pidge being the youngest of the group, Lance saw quite easily how Hunk had taken Pidge under his wing, playing the role of older brother and mentor for a prodigy child. Between Pidge's affinity for electronics and Hunk's mechanical hands, they were dovetailed for success in any piece of equipment that they dared touch and repair.
Finding the one person he had hoped would be alone, Lance's grin extended into that of the Cheshire Cat, his mischief glinting with a brighter sparkle. His brother in all things but genetics was, as usual, sitting at a table studying a book filled with illustrated battle schematics while reading through a reference manual on battle strategies. His head was curved downwards into the book of drawings in his hands, his dark locks hanging over his shoulders. He ran his fingers over one of the illustrations and then seemed to be comparing that to a paragraph of written text in the reference manual nearby.
"If you want her to like you, Keith, you have to broaden your horizons."
At that, the leader of the Voltron Force brought his dark eyes up to his friend, and his hair settled back upon his shoulders. "I happen to find reading schematics and strategies relaxing."
Lance felt his smile waver. "Yes, because those are the kinds of conversations that a lady truly wants to have over a candlelight dinner."
"Do not start with that again," Keith warned.
"I set that moment up perfectly for you both to fall into, and you ruined it by talking like some elitist general trying to create the battle plan of the century," Lance grumbled. As he pulled the package out from under his arm, he tore off the wrapping. "I guess Nanny really has Princess Allura's manners perfected like royalty should. No sensible woman otherwise would have been that gracious in your presence."
"Why do you insist on trying to make something happen that can't exist?" Keith asked.
Lance looked at Keith as though it was obvious, but he explained it anyway. "Because rules are meant to be broken and laws can be changed. Call me a hopeless romantic."
Keith offered a small smile at that. "You are always the optimist, but I have to be realistic."
Lance then pushed the book and reference manual aside, dropping the contents of his package onto the table with a loud thud. He watched Keith's expression change as his eyes looked down to the new book.
As Keith's eyes took in the textbook-style volume, he felt a slight gasp in his chest. The cover was hard cardboard, lined with thin, green-tinted leather. Gold-embossed letters were imprinted with the words "Galactic Space Academy" and a crest of the full moon with a space shuttle lying sideways over the moon was below the letters. When Keith's eyes glanced over the year of the book's publishing, he looked to Lance. "Where did you find this?"
"Apparently, only a few of them managed to escape the fire after publication," Lance replied. "I did some digging for a couple years. Turns out there were ten books that were circulated before the printing company went up in smoke, destroying all the books and the proofs before our graduation."
"Have you looked through it yet?" he asked, not quite sure if he really wanted to look into a past that had its own ghosts.
Lance jammed his hands into his pockets. "Nah, I wanted you to see it first."
Keith ran a hand through his hair and had a sudden flashback of the younger man that would be inside those pages. He would be quite different from the Voltron commander he was now. Besides images of himself, there would be a younger Lance and Sven as well. Staring blankly at the cover, Keith started to have images in his head of so many cadets who were in his classes and how they had all gone their separate ways. Some of his fellow cadets moved up the ranks and others had perished during their missions after graduation while other cadets quit space exploration for their own personal reasons, simply disappearing off the grid.
There were so many faces, so many memories that if Keith dared to crack open that binding, he'd be transported years into the past, and he wasn't certain he wanted to take that trip alone.
"Keith, are you okay?" came a voice that was not Lance's, and it made Keith realize that he had been in debate about opening the Galactic Space Academy memory book for a lot longer than just a few seconds. He had apparently been staring at the cover for at least five minutes, lost in memories and thoughts he had believed were long lost and locked away.
Looking up from the book, Keith's eyes focused on Princess Allura. He dared a quick glance around the room and saw that Lance was already gone. Not sure if he was grateful or frustrated, Keith hid how he hated but admired how Lance could always arrange for him to be left alone with the princess.
Turning back to the young monarch, Keith tried not to dwell on the flutters that suddenly came into his stomach as he looked upon her. She smiled with uncertainty, as though she was very concerned for him, and as she smiled, the small, upwards curve of her lips raised her cheekbones to make a sparkle in her already brilliant, blue eyes. Keith forced his eyes downwards to the memory book on the table, aware that he had already taken a mental inventory to see she was in her royal gown, her simple but long dress that had been designed in pink silk and satin, which she commonly wore when there was something planned that required her royal attention. He had also noticed that when she wore her gown, she allowed her hair to fall freely over her shoulders, and he thought it made her even more beautiful.
"I'm all right," he said quietly, knowing it would sound like a lie. He was not surprised then when he heard the chair next to him move followed by the crinkling of her dress as she squeezed into the all-purpose chair. Taking a silent breath, he took in her perfume, savoring the light and sweet scent that he found so intoxicating.
"You seem troubled," Allura spoke softly. She studied Keith with an interest that she knew was beyond mere friendship. She was not blind to the sturdy structure of his arms and shoulders that were hidden beneath his red flight suit. And, she could only fight her internal butterflies whenever she dared meet his dark eyes with her own. Looking to his profile, she fought the urge to touch his cheek and to run her fingers through his dark hair. Her heart raced at such a thought, but she was more concerned for his ruminations right now than she was with a romance that was only in her imagination. The haunting in his eyes was upsetting to her, and she wanted to save him from whatever emotion was bringing him pain.
Keith shrugged his shoulders at the irony of being able to look into the past with someone he wished could be in his future, and he braved himself to touch one of the letters on the cover of the memory book. He felt a crooked smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he spoke. "I never had a chance to look at this before. All these memory books were destroyed in a fire two weeks before they were supposed to be distributed to the cadets. Lance found this one."
Allura brought her eyes from his profile and looked instead to the book beneath his hand. She briefly glanced at the words and the crest, but she could not stop herself from studying his finger as it traced the letters. His usually steady hands were slightly shaking, his finger tracing each letter slowly and with hesitation. She understood more from watching the movement of his hands than she did from his words.
"We can look at it together," she offered, hoping to use the opportunity to learn more about the commander of the Voltron Force, this man who took a personal interest in keeping her people safe, "But only if you want."
Keith looked up to her and saw the genuine concern in her sapphire eyes, her image one of kindness and compassion rather than curiosity and persuasion. He swallowed hard and took the binding between his fingers. Looking down at the book, he opened the cover, hearing the leather make a cracking noise, the kind of sound that a book makes after it has been opened only a couple times. Releasing a breath he did not realize he was holding, the inside cover opened to a box that contained the publisher's information and a gray scale image of the space academy's campus.
"I'm sure there's a better picture inside," he said, "But that's the Galactic Space Academy, the Earth division."
"It looks like a big place," she commented.
"Each building housed certain types of classes and exercises." He pointed to one of the larger, dark gray buildings. "This one was where we practiced zero gravity movement, and this one," he said, pointing to a smaller building, "Was where we had lectures on philosophy and academics." Shifting his finger along a number of closely-spaced buildings, he explained, "This cluster here was the barracks where we lived."
Then, he turned the page feeling less worried with the princess by his side. He came to the conclusion that telling her about his experiences would make the ghosts of his past less painful.
They spent quite a bit of time looking through different cadet activity pages and passed through various images of the cadets who graduated the same year as Keith. He discussed with Allura some of the physical activities that they were required to take in order to graduate. He described to her the people he had encountered like Sergeant Bulldog and Admiral Burke, and how they were firm, fair, and his favorite mentors from the academy. He went into details about how Sergeant Bulldog was his weapons trainer, and was extremely difficult to match in target practice. He also talked about how Admiral Burke was very strict while on duty, but if a cadet caught him during down time or off-campus, he was kind and more of a grandfather figure who offered advice, especially for what to expect after graduation.
Keith began to flip to the next page when he suddenly turned the paper back to the previous one and muttered an "Oh no."
"What's wrong?" Allura asked, suddenly very concerned because they had spent so much time in Keith's happier memories. Up to this point, he had talked freely about his days at the academy, and she was relieved that for once they were not discussing strategies and battle plans. She liked having this human side of him, this man who had a personality that was endearing and realistic. She didn't want him to feel as though he always had to be so formal around her. This afternoon, she felt more relaxed around him than she ever had before, and as they talked about his schooling and his grueling activities, Allura found something in common with him. She came to understand that Nanny was not the only tough teacher in the galaxy, and some of Keith's teachers made Nanny rather docile in comparison.
"I forgot all about this," Keith told her.
"Is it bad?" she asked.
"Promise me you won't hold this against us," he replied as a smile crept across his face.
Uncertain, Allura responded with, "Okay…I promise."
Keith turned the page, and Allura cupped her mouth, trying to hold in her laugh. "I'm sorry," she giggled.
Together they broke into a fit of laughter as the picture revealed the senior male cadets in very unusual outfits. In the front of the group of cadets was a very young and short-haired Keith who wore a woman's lavender bikini with his black uniform boots. Next to him was Lance, who sported a bra made of coconuts with grass hula skirt, and beside Lance was Sven, who had somehow squeezed into a ballerina's tutu while wearing flip flops. The caption below the picture noted that it was "Academy Dare Day," and Keith explained to Allura that it was a day where all the cadets had to randomly choose from a jar a piece of paper that had described on it an outfit that was entirely outlandish. The purpose of the stunt was to instill a sense of humility in the cadets, to show that despite grades and high marks, they were all expected to follow the orders of the commanding officers.
When the laughter finally subsided, Keith turned to the next page, revealing some of his senior class. They all wore the same blue uniform shirt and had similar poses of a shoulder and head shot. On one of the pages was a very young Lance, his hair cut short and neat. With the exception of the constant mischief in his eyes, he looked very much like every other cadet. It took a while to find Sven, as his serious expression matched that of many of the other cadets. However, Keith became very quiet and sober as he saw his senior portrait mixed in with the rest of his graduating class. His face was hard and serious in the picture, a reminder that he had suffered personal tragedy at the height of his senior year.
Allura immediately saw the change on Keith's face as he looked at his younger image, and she looked to the portrait of the young man in the memory book that stared back at them. Keith's face was youthful, the slight bit of baby fat not quite slimed away yet. His dark hair was in the standard military cut, the strands trimmed so short it looked prickly and sharp. His eyes, however, were haunted with an agony that was irreparable. Whatever tragedy that had befallen this young man was etched onto his face like stone, and it broke Allura's heart to see Keith as a young man so solemn when he should have been in the joy of his life.
"I almost didn't sit for the portrait," he told her softly. "My parents died a week before it was taken."
"Oh, Keith, I'm so sorry," she whispered. Without thought, her hand touched upon his, and she grasped his fingers in her own.
The princess' touch invoked such intensity that Keith felt the wave of flutters hit his chest like a cannonball. He wanted nothing more than to enclose her fingers in his own and draw her towards him where he could hold her and feel safe. He wanted to tell her that her presence with him this afternoon was the first time since he had arrived on Arus that he had confronted his past, and without her, he was certain that he never would have opened this book. But, this moment was so much more than looking through a memory book of his past, he realized. Keith had never felt quite the same wave of emotions with Princess Allura that he had with any other woman. Something about the princess made him excited and nervous while calm and carefree. He didn't understand how she could give him such contradictory feelings, and every time he was in close proximity to her, he felt like it was never quite close enough.
Allura brought her eyes to Keith and saw a world in them that she always knew existed, and for once that world was not blocked by the barrier he always had managed to hold in place. Somehow she could actually see him – not the commander, not the pilot, and not the man who fought for propriety – but the man, the young child, and the young cadet who fought against all odds to find his way to a war-torn planet and a lonely princess. She ached for him to see the same in her eyes as well. She wanted him to know that she was only a princess because Nanny and Corran deemed it so at this time. She knew the monarchy was long dead, and she could not change the minds of her guardians, for as many times as she had tried. Allura wanted Keith to know she was a woman, an orphan, and a young diplomat who did extraordinary things because she had no other choice. Most importantly, she was a woman with her people, not above them.
"Keith, do you ever…" she started to ask quietly but stopped when she was suddenly aware that their faces were so close they could feel each other's breath. Locked in place at this realization, she wondered what would happen if she just leaned forward, if she just…moved towards him, and she tried to imagine how he would respond to her, how he would kiss her with passion and kindness. Allura had daydreamed for a long time about what it would be like to be held in his arms, and while just touching his hand was not nearly enough, it was more than she had any opportunity to feel before. Taking a slight breath, Allura decided that she was going to take that leap of faith, and she was going to show Keith that she was worthy of his affections. With her heart thumping so loud in her chest she was certain he could hear it, she made a fractional move.
"Princess? There you are!" Nanny shouted as she entered the common room.
Allura and Keith immediately pulled their hands apart and pulled back from their close proximity at the sound of the governess' voice. Allura quickly asked, "Nanny?"
"Princess Allura, have you any idea how long you have been hiding? The children have grown restless waiting for you to join them," Nanny told her. "And, you, young man," she shouted pointing a finger at Keith, "Are just as bad for shirking your responsibilities."
"Oh no!" Allura breathed as she stood up from the table. "I forgot! I'm so sorry. I lost track of time. Keith, the children! I promise we'll finish the book at another time."
Keith nodded quietly as he watched Princess Allura run towards the door and disappear in a flash of pink and crinkling fabric as Nanny escorted her towards her appointment in the castle dining room where the children were waiting. While in the princess' close presence Keith, himself, had forgotten that today was the children's lunch in which the princess was going to take the children of Arus on a tour of the Castle of Lions. He had volunteered to be a part of it as well, and now thanks to Lance, he will come across as a complete fool who is late for appointments.
Looking into the book, Keith sighed at the young man he had once been. He wondered if it really was possible to break the rules and change the laws, like Lance had said. Every close moment with the princess was getting harder to evade, and he feared that one day he would not be able to hold back. All his life he played by the rules, but Princess Allura made it very difficult for him to continue that way. The look in her eyes this afternoon showed him that she felt the same, and he wondered if the rules and laws would ever change in time before they completely release their emotions.
Shaking his head now at the notion that he could ever be with Princess Allura, Keith closed the memory book. He tucked it under his arm to return it safely to Lance. He had promised a room full of children that he would be there for the tour of the castle, and that was his obligation. He needed to stop looking at the past because it did nothing but distract from the present and cause disruptions in the future.