She barely remembered a time when darkness and pain did not belong to her everyday life.
Only sometimes, shortly before falling asleep she could hear the sound of a long bygone life of happiness and a world full of bright colours. Colours she would never see again, sound she would never hear again. It filled her with sadness and her only wish was to escape this horror and to sleep forever.
Her life was unbearable. She did not know whether it was night or day, she only knew the black, protecting dark and dazzling white light that was connected with pure pain. Sometimes she wondered why she was still alive and how she had managed not to give up so far.
Often, after the light and the people and the pain were gone, she just crawled into the edge of the tiny cell, rocked herself back and forth and hummed the song her mother always used to sing when she tucked her in. That was the only sound coming from her lips. She wasn't even sure if she was still able to speak. Nobody had ever spoken to her since she was here, and except for one time she had never tried to speak to them.
The one time she tried, she was in the other room. The awful, cold room with the iron panelled wall and the operating table and the horribly beeping electronic devices. It was shortly after she came here. Without any idea where she was, why she was here. But at the moment she opened her mouth the pain kicked on her head. Back then she screamed, but in the meantime she had recognized that there was no use in that.
Even if the pain, the light, the operation table, was a everyday procedure, always the same, she had never gotten used to it. Every time the cell door opened and people in white protective clothing grabbed her, her heart almost stopped. She knew what was going to happen next... Light and pain. Over and over again.
Back in her cell when she closed her eyes, she'd always wish that they'd never open again.