New story time! I'm very excited for this story. I will be using music as titles this time instead of incorporating them into the writing (it's really hard to do). The title of the story, Anchor Down, is the title of a Real Friends song, and it will pertain to other parts of the story. I recommend listening to all of the songs; they will all have some bearing to the chapter in some way. You can interpret it however you'd like. I would really like to thank Brookesdavis for letting me use her as inspiration and letting me spring board off a few of her ideas! Go read her stuff, it's amazing! The timelines in this story are a little off. It's winter time and Ruzek/Wendy are still together and so are Erin/Kelly. This is a Jay centered story and will eventually be a linstead fic.
I do not own any of these characters or bands/lyrics etc etc etc.
You get the point. I hope you guys enjoy the new story. :3
~ 'I don't really think that I'm ready for another Chicago winter,
so you can stop making my bones feel cold.' ~
Jay Halstead walks out of the 21st Prescient and the frigid Chicago wind slaps him in the face. He lets out a clouded breath, relieved that his day is finally over. For a Thursday it had been hellishly busy and his cheek still ached from where a dead beat had elbowed him during an arrest. Despite the below zero temperatures, Jay decides to walk over to Molly's, leaving his car in the lot. It's not like he won't be back here first thing in the morning.
It always amazes him how beautiful the city is at night. That's why he stays here, because despite the shit and the violence that they have to deal with, Chicago is still the most beautiful city to live in. Half way through his walk over to Molly's he hears a car slow behind him. He cranes his neck and see's Erin's car. He overheard Erin's conversation with her boyfriend, who Jay just refers to as 'the fireman', so he knows that Erin is headed to the same place. He lets out a sigh but walks over to her open window anyways.
"Get in, Loser." Erin states, giving Jay a smirk. The smirk that always makes his stomach flip flop.
Not wanting to fight with her about walking, Jay sighs as he opens the door and gets in. The warmth of the car feels good, but he would really rather be back out in the cold than have to be in close proximity to Erin. He mutters a 'Thanks' and she starts talking about how she can't wait for the week to be over.
As they pull in to the Molly's parking lot, Jay makes casual conversation and asks Erin her weekend plans.
"Nothing too relaxing," She says as they get out of the car and start walking towards the bar, "Going apartment hunting with Kelly." She shrugs her shoulders, clearly not excited about it but definitely not having any reservations about the idea either.
Jay stops in his tracks, feeling like he's taken a punch straight to the gut.
Erin makes it to the door before she realizes that Jay is several paces behind her. "Are you coming? Or-" She asks with a confused look on her face.
"Yeah, I just need a minute. You go on ahead, have fun." He manages, despite feeling like the wind has been knocked out of him.
She holds his gaze for a moment before nodding and heading inside.
Once the door shuts behind Erin, he lets out a hard breath. Frustrated, he runs his hands over his face and lets out a groan. He leans against the hard brick of the building for a moment, composing himself before grabbing the handle of the heavy door and heading inside.
The first thing he hears as the door shuts behind him is the sound of Erin's laughter. It's a compelling sound and he is drawn to it. He try's his best not to let his eyes find her, but he loses his internal battle as his eyes settle on Erin who is sitting close to her boyfriend. Her hand is resting on his forearm. Her eyes bright and her dimples popping every time he makes her smile. She looks genuinely happy.
And he, he was broken. Watching them broke him. With a sigh he turns toward the bar and raps his knuckles on the wood, grabbing Gabby Dawson's attention, drawing her away from her conversation with her serious boyfriend, Matt Casey. Seeing Gabby and Matt together made Jay happy, even though he and Gabby had a thing in the past. Everyone who saw her and Casey knew that they were meant to be. He gives her a weak smile as an apology.
"Wow Halstead, looking rough." She says, drying off a glass and throwing the towel over her shoulder. "Bad day?"
Jay closes his eyes and nods, "Yeah, I need a scotch." He says bluntly. "And the good shit too."
Gabby raises her eyebrows at his tone, but reaches for the top shelf scotch anyways and pours him two fingers before sliding the glass in front of him.
"I'm sorry, Thanks." He says, his eyes drawn back over to Erin who had moved even closer to Kelly. They were huddled in an intimate conversation. Just thinking of what they could be talking about made Jay's stomach wobble. He turns back towards the bar rolling his eyes and taking a large gulp of his drink.
"Still torn up over Lindsay?" Gabby asks, already knowing the answer. She knew how it felt to be hopelessly in love with someone who was otherwise spoken for. She definitely felt for Jay.
He finishes the rest of his scotch and licks his lips before locking eyes with Dawson. "Yeah, is it that obvious?" he asks, genuinely curious.
"Yep," She says, refilling his glass. "Sorry buddy, it's totally obvious. But hey, look at Matt and I. You never know what can happen, so don't lose all hope." She says, smacking his bicep and moving back down the bar to help the other patrons.
He chews on that thought for a moment as he takes a sip of his drink before glancing back over his shoulder again.
"You have to stop coming here when you know they're together." He hears a voice next to his head, startling him. He spins around in his seat to see Kim Burgess giving him a weak smile as she takes off her leather coat revealing a hoodie underneath it. She takes the seat next to him. "Trust me." She says with a scoff.
Jay knew there was something going on between Kim and Adam Ruzek. He just didn't know what had happened being that Adam is engaged to someone who is not Kim. He remembered the look of heartbreak the other day as Ruzek pulled out his save the date invitations and showed them off to everyone in the unit, including Kim. How she kept her composure, Jay wasn't sure. He definitely knew that he wouldn't have had much grace if he was put in the same position with Erin. He sets his jaw as he hears Erin's laugh travel through the small bar.
"You want some advice?" Kim asks, nursing the beer she has in her hand. Honestly Jay wanted to be drunk out of his mind, to not have to picture Lindsay with another guy every time he closed his eyes.
"Sure," Jay mutters hesitantly, but listens anyway as he works on his third scotch.
"Go to the bathroom, splash some cold water on your face, and tell yourself three times that she was never yours to begin with."
To his surprise, Jay's feet carry him to the bathroom. He is feeling desperate, so he does it. Kim's overly romanticized, clichéd advice actually works too. He finds himself staring into his own reflection. He sees the bags under his eyes, the overgrown stubble on his jaw, the bruise forming under his eye, and his heart sunk. Not only did he feel broken, but he looked it too. His hands grip the sink, knuckles white as he looks straight at his own reflection and says it one more time. She was never his, and it was ridiculous for him to think she ever was or ever could be.
He throws one last splash of water on his face for good measure. He leaves the bathroom and walks with his head held a little higher. He stands at the back of the bar and observes how much the bar had cleared out in the past few minutes. While he was in the bathroom, Ruzek and his fiancé had came in and grabbed a table that was situated very close to the bar. Kim is still sitting at the bar, looking very uncomfortable. Not just uncomfortable, Jay thinks as he watches her concentrating hard on her beer, she looks lost.
He almost glides across the bar, back to his seat. Kim turns and her eyes are glassy as she gives him a weak, "So?"
Instead of answering her, he puts both hands on the sides of her face and kisses her, intensely.
After a moment he pulls back and throws a fifty on the bar. "You wanna get out of here?" Jay asks her.
Kim is still taken aback but she nods and they both slide their coats on. As Jay leads her out of the bar he can feel several stares burning into his back and he decides to ignore them.
"Can you drive?" He asks Kim once they are outside.
She gives him another nod, and they make their way to her car. Once they are inside Kim blasts the heat and pulls onto the main road. She keeps glancing over at him every few seconds.
"So," She says, giving him a puzzled look, "Wanna tell me what that was about?"
Jay is quiet for a minute as he watches the snow hit the windshield and melt against it. His mind is fogged from the alcohol and the windshield wipers almost seem to hypnotize him.
Finally he looks at her, "I just thought they deserved a little bit of heartache too," He says truthfully.
She gives him a small smile and pats his knee. He stares out into the night, watching the snow dance in the beams of the headlights.
They drive for a few moments before Kim looks at him again, "Thank you." She murmurs. He nods before he leans his head against the cold glass of the window. His cloudy mind is still transfixed by the moving wipers, his eyelids grow heavy, and soon enough they lull him into the darkness.
The next day, they wrap up their work for the week and are relieved of their duties by a preoccupied Voight. Jay, Kevin Atwater, Erin, and Kim are all in the locker room, putting away their guns and badges and grabbing their winter gear, preparing to go out into the frigid temperatures and make their way home for the weekend. Erin is casually chatting with Kevin about the case that they had just wrapped up. Kim is bundled up and ready first which is made obvious as snaps her lock onto her locker and makes her way toward the door. Jay grabs something from his locker and then locks his up as well.
"Kim," he calls out getting her to stop so he can catch up to her, "You left this at my place last night. Didn't want you to get cold." Jay says, handing her the sweatshirt she was wearing the night before and following her out of the door.
Erin hears a clatter and looks at the ground to see her badge, which had just been in her hand. She looks back to the door and stands there with her mouth hanging open.
"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" Ruzek says with a hint of anger in his voice, as he enters the locker room.
Erin doesn't have the power to answer him. She just stands there shocked with her mouth hanging open, feeling as if she had been punched in the gut.
A/N: I DUNNO, did you guys like it? Sorry for any typos/mistakes it's really late and I did this in one runthrough. I really would like to hear reviews and stuff on this. I'm really excited about this story and I hope you guys are too. I have a lot planned. Hehehe.