Hey guys! So, I was listening to one of my favorite songs the other day, Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood. I immediately thought of Clary because underneath all of the fear of a new world and everything she had to go through I imagine her to be a feisty, independent and awesome woman. So I decided to try it out and see what you all think! You should definitely listen to the song if you can, I love country music. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: All rights go to Cassandra Clare and Carrie Underwood, two very talented women who I love.
"Clary!"
I snapped out of my daydream and jerked in surprise as I heard Simon shouting my name. I glared at him slightly for making me jump.
"What?" I snapped crabbily back at him, though he didn't even flinch.
"This is, like, the fourth time you've spaced out," he scolded, "Lighten up,"
"Come on, Clary, we didn't take you to Colorado so you could stare at a wall," piped in the black haired beauty at his side.
Yes, you read that right. Colorado. Simon and Isabelle had taken it upon themselves to whisk me away on a "relaxing" trip halfway across the country. We've been here just one day and they're already driving me crazy.
Not to mention Alec sitting in a corner, sulking because he had to be without Magnus, who had to run an errand in Manhattan. Lucky bastard.
Unfortunately, the reason for this spontaneous trip could be summed up in two little words: Jace Herondale. He was the bane of my existence, light of my life, and just recently, ex- boyfriend.
I still remember how much it hurt, to see him with her. It hurt when the person who made me feel so special yesterday made me feel so unwanted today. And I remember thinking that I finally knew what heartbreak feels like; like the butterflies just died, like my whole life just shattered and the one who broke it was the only one who could fix it.
I just couldn't get it through my head. Everything we went through to get as far as we did- did none of it really mean anything to him? Did it matter at all? Why would he go through the trouble of trying to keep us together if he ended up screwing it up more than any of the demons or evil shadowhunters?
But then I thought; it doesn't matter. He never loved me. Maybe he didn't want to be alone. Maybe I was just feeding his ego. Or maybe I was just making him feel better about his miserable life, but he didn't love me. You don't destroy people you love.
I was in a battle with myself; all those emotions burning inside of me, physically burning my body like a blowtorch. Love. Hate. Anger. Sadness. Longing.
Until one day something changed. It was like a switch was flipped, and all of a sudden the light turned off. I was empty. I sat in my room, lay on my bed and just stayed there. I stared up at the ceiling, saying nothing, thinking nothing. Nothing mattered anymore. It was like my body was on autopilot: eat, drink, shower, sleep. Eat, drink, shower, sleep. It was like that was exactly what I turned into. Nothing.
I was a smashed mirror, and anyone who tried to fix me most likely got hurt.
And I was perfectly content locking myself away from the world. Unfortunately my friends had enough and I soon found myself in a small karaoke café in Colorado; Simon and Izzy's peppiness annoying the crap out of me and making me wish that I could spend time with Alec in a dark corner in silence for the night. And trust me when I say I rarely find myself wanting to do that. That guy can sulk like a champ; nothing could get through to him when he was in a mood, except maybe Magnus on a good day.
"By the Angel, Clary! Focus!" Isabelle exclaimed indignantly as she caught my blank stare. "That's it! You're not spending another second in that damn chair," she let her eyes sweep across the room before turning back to me with a mischievous smile that made me think, oh crap!
"The karaoke machine!" she squealed making me choke on my soda, hacking my lungs off in surprise. "It's perfect, Clare, you have to go!" she was almost bouncing in her chair in excitement.
"What? No, no way in hell am going up there, Izzy, you can't make me!" I protested after my coughing fit, shaking my head violently and spluttering slightly. That had to be the worst idea she's ever come up with. Isabelle continued to plead with me before she was interrupted.
"Izzy, leave the girl alone, can't you see she's miserable? She doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to," Simon piped up, putting an arm around his girlfriend in an effort to contain her, and making me smile triumphantly. You can always count on good old Simon to-
"That is, unless she doesn't want everyone to know what really happened at Alec's birthday party last year," he stated in an innocent tone. Alec's ears perked up and he leaned forward, a smirk playing at his lips, he was now interested in the conversation.
My eyes widened. "You wouldn't," I challenged confidently, though I immediately regretted it after realising that it may have been a mistake.
That was something that we swore to keep secret, although it was more of a benefit for me. Let's just say that Alec likes some pretty hardcore alcohol at his parties. And let's just say that I did some pretty embarrassing things after Simon dragged me back to my apartment. That night left mental scars on us both and we never spoke of it again. Until now.
He smirked, "Oh yes I would, would you like to test that theory?" I scanned his eyes and my heart fell as I only detected truth. In that moment I had two choices: sing in front of a small crowd in a lame country club, or let Simon tell everyone my most embarrassing story.
My coward side won out and I stood flipping my hair back sassily, as if to emphasise my annoyance. I walked over to the DJ, not without shooting daggers at Simon who was leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed and a smug smile on his face. Traitor.
I wondered what I was going to sing. I could maybe do some sort of country song? It would be perfect for a place like this, right? Or one of those trashy, new pop songs that have just came out.
That is, until the perfect song popped into my head. If I had to do this I would at least do it well and with style.
I whispered my song request to the DJ then moved in front of the mike ignoring the cat calls and whistles from the immature pair in the back.
I listened to the opening notes of the acoustic guitar, then took a deep breath and began to sing one of my favourite songs.
Right now, he's probably slow dancing with a bleached blonde tramp and she's probably getting frisky.
Right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't throw whiskey.
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick, showing her how to shoot a combo.
(I remembered that night when I walked into that club. It was my birthday and I was with my best friends; Simon, Isabelle, Alec and Magnus. Jace was supposed to meet us here but he was nowhere to be seen. Until I saw him in the middle of the crowd with that slut, Kaelie.)
Well, he don't know….
That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tyres
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Right now, she's probably up singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke.
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk," and he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky.
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo.
(I remember his hands on her hips, their bodies close in the crowd, and he closed the distance between them and kissed her. He kissed her the same way he always kissed me. That's when I realised- I was just another girl to him. Another toy- something he could play with only to throw it away. And as far as he was concerned, I didn't exist anymore.)
Oh, and he don't know…
That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tyres
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats…
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
(I remember they stumbled out onto the streets, his arm around her, making a beeline for his car. But they stopped in shock and stared, she ripped away from his grasp and scoffed in his face, before leaving. Leaving him staring in shock at the message I left spray painted on his car.
To love is to destroy.
You taught me that babe.
Have fun with the skank, cheater.
Clary xox
I just wish I had a camera to capture his face in that moment)
No… not on me
Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tyres
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Oh, before he cheats… oh, oh.
I had poured my heart and soul out into that song and it felt amazing. It felt amazing to finally say what's on my mind, say what I really felt.
Bowing quickly in response to the excited cheering and whistles, I stepped off the stage and headed straight back to my seat, where my group of weirdo's congratulated me. Even Alec managed a "good job" and a smile.
We soon fell back into normal conversation. Only this time I didn't stare at the wall. I didn't think of him with her, dancing and buying her drinks. Or leaning behind her with a pool stick, laughing at something she said and kissing her cheek affectionately. I didn't even think of our time together and how he somehow managed to fool me with that attractive smirk, and that surfer blonde hair and the overall perfection that is Jace Herondale.
I thought about how it felt to smash that car. I though about the satisfaction of destroying the only permanent thing he loves and leaving my name, my mark, all over it.
And when those feelings of anger turned to memory I spent the time with my friends, my family. Those people who, no matter what, will have my back.
I knew that I would have to see him again; it was unavoidable since Izzy was his sister and Alec his parabatai. But somehow, that didn't really bother me anymore. And somehow, I knew that the next time I saw him passing by I wouldn't scream at him or hit him out of anger and hatred. I would smile.
And you know what? Being surrounded by the people I love most made me feel the mirror slowly piecing back together.
So, I've had a few people in the reviews question whether I will continue this or not. I'm going to make this as clear as possible: this is a oneshot! I have no plans to continue this, it was just an idea I had and wanted to play around with. I'm sorry for those who may want me to make it into a story, but it was never meant to go anywhere and, to be honest, I don't know if I would even know what to write if I decided to carry on.
Thank you for the support!
-Katherine 3