We came up with this at lunchtime. What if Shockwave had been fooling around with our primitive Earth technology?
Again, tounge-in-cheek silliness, don't flame. Please review. It helps.
The Null-Ray Supremacy
In his laboratory, Shockwave was working furiously on a theory. An idea had come to him while observing Megatron's second in command on a recent mission. If this works, he thought, he could rid his comrades of the self-serving tyrant and his over-reaching sycophant, both of whom were the bane of his existence. You have humiliated me, brooded Shockwave. I will have my revenge. Megatron had betrayed the Decepticon cause-and him. He had to be destroyed along with that degenerate, Starscream. Megatron had ignored him for the last time.
Back on Earth, the Decepticons engaged in one of their favorite pastimes: torturing each other. They had lost a large batch of energon to those insurgent Autobots, who were becoming increasingly effective. Megatron was especially angry. He felt that someone was feeding the Autobots information. If I find out who the traitor is, he seethed, he'll wish he would have destroyed himself when he had the chance. Suddenly, a message from Cybertron beeped on the main screen in text only. "Something fragging evil just teleported from the space bridge! Need military assistance with Null-Ray capabilities ASAP!" A klaxon rang out informing all Decepticons to mobilize. " It's not Shockwave's style to write using slang like "frag" or for that matter, not acknowledge my greatness." Megatron thought but he dismissed the lapse as a by-product of Shockwave's dire situation.
Starscream instinctively gravitated to the screen. He was always on the lookout for information that would bring him closer to his goal: leadership of the Deceptions and the extermination of the Autobots (and their annoying fleshing pets, particularly one called Mike or Ike).
"What's wrong, Megatron?" Starscream asked with false concern.
"Shockwave has sent a message but there's something odd about it. He specifically asks for your Null-Ray capabilities. Why would he do that?" Megatron inquired.
"Because my abilities are the most effective and supreme amongst all Decepticons " he bragged. When Megatron scowled, he quickly added. "Present company excluded, of course".
"Of course; nevertheless, I cannot ignore this message. Starscream, get to Cybertron immediately. Take Soundwave with you".
"I don't need Soundwave to come with me! I can take care of this alone!" he whined, his temper flaring. Megatron sighed. Starscream ran out before Megatron could hit him on the side of his head with his fusion cannon.
"Soundwave, go with him. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
"Probability of mutiny: 100 per cent "said Soundwave.
"I know that, Soundwave. That's why you're going. Now move out!"
Starscream scowled as he saw Soundwave board Astrotrain.Great. Bringing him along means bringing those loudmouths Frenzy and Rumble, Starscream thought petulantly.
"I hope you realize, Soundwave, all of Cybertron depends on me and my Null-Ray. Not your silly telepath tricks". Soundwave stood silent for a moment, and then pressed a switch on his chest, followed by the tell-tail sign of a pastel cassette.
"And you know Starscream, that Null-Ray sounds like it was named after you. You being null and all." said Rumble as he landed.
"Hey, Soundwave, do you always need your cassettes do your talking?" Starscream quipped.
It's going to be a long ride to Cybertron, Astrotrain thought to himself.
On Cybertron, Shockwave waited. He carefully set up his trap and got ready. When a drone notified him Starscream, Soundwave and Astrotrain were within range, he calculated how much time he needed. As the three approached, Soundwave became suspicious. "Some is wrong. Probability of damage: 95 per cent. Advice: Retreat and regroup""
"Afraid, Soundwave?" Starscream jibed.
"Negative. Objective: Survival". Soundwave retorted.
"Maybe he's right"Astrotrain said.
"Well, I'm going in. You all can stay here if you don't have the ball bearings for it" Starscream huffed.
Astrotrain felt he was being challenged.
"Who says I don't have what it takes?" he yelled.
"Soundwave, tell Ravage and Laserbeak to scout ahead." Starscream ordered.
"Ravage, Laserbeak: eject". The Casseticons sprang out.
"Operation: Reconnaissance" The cassettes took off.
"Now we wait".
Shockwave was getting nervous. What's taking them so long? A delay would complicate my plans and Megatron will fry my circuits if he found out, he thought, beginning to panic. Suddenly, he noticed his gun had acquired a target. A torrent of laser fire spit out towards the Decepticon trio.
"Quick! Cover me as I ready my Null-" Starscream's words were cut off hit by a bright purple blast to a wing.
"Soundwave, save me! Remember, only my Null-Ray has the ability to complete our mission!" Starscream cried out. Soundwave, with Astrotrain following, ran towards the Seeker, lifting him up then ran into a ruined building, absorbing several hits from the other direction. Laserbeak and Ravage followed in pursuit and jumped back into Soundwave's chest, frightened.
"Astrotrain! Hurry up and fly us out of here!" Starscream cried.
"Not so fast, traitors" a familiar voice said. It was Shockwave accompanied by several drones, followed by the toss of energy cuffs on the three mechs.
"Traitors? You must mean Soundwave, right, Shockwave?" Starscream said, not caring that Soundwave had just saved his afterburner. "It's me, your loyal friend Starscream" he pleaded.
"Starscream! Surrender your Null-Ray power chip rectifier." Shockwave bellowed. Soundwave stepped forward.
"You can't stop me from taking Megatron out, Soundwave. Join me or be destroyed" he said, facing him.
"You want to destroy Megatron too? Why, what a coincidence! I also want to…" Starscream piped up. A laser bolt from Shockwave interrupted him. He shut up.
"Silence!" roared Shockwave. "Of course you want to destroy Megatron. But I would rather be the last mech in a ship full of lovesick Autobots than serve under you" said an enraged and obviously deranged Shockwave. He was jerking and puffs of smoke were coming out of his frame. "I am saving us all".
"Shockwave, you're not well, please let us help you" said Astrotrain in a vain attempt to calm him down.
"Probability of insanity: 99.9 per cent. Cause: Loneliness. Solution: Immediate deactivation" Soundwave intoned. The lack of female company had hit Shockwave hard, thought Soundwave. Note to self: suggest Megatron give more parties. Soundwave had been scanning Shockwave's mind and found his programming was crashing.
"Stop it! "screeched Shockwave, clutching his head in agony. "I know what you're doing! Stop scanning my thoughts!" Rumble, who had been forgotten in the melee, ran over and removed Astrotrain's energy cuffs.
Soundwave continued to focus on the purple, one eyed mech. When he was reduced to a screaming mess on the floor, he said to Astrotrain: "Now! Restrain him" Astrotrain did as instructed and put the energy cuffs on Shockwave. He quickly untied Starscream and Soundwave. They took care of the drones easily. When it was over, they stared at Shockwave's large frame jerking about, repeating the phases "Shockwave has encountered a problem and must shut down.. If you were in the middle of something…" A strange note followed each phase. I warned him about fooling around with primitive Earth technology-it's riddled with malware, thought Starscream. Oh well. Some mechs think they know it all.
"What should we do with this traitor?" asked Starscream.
"Let Megatron deal with him" snarled Astrotrain.
"Affirmative" said Soundwave.
Several days later:
"And when you're done, I want my room cleaned with this "shouted Starscream, pulling out a Transformer-sized replica of a flesh creature's toothbrush.
"Now wax my chassis. And pay attention to my wings. Do it! Do it NOW!" he screamed.
He turned off his optics and smiled as Shockwave stuttered "Yes-yes, Lord Starscream".
Ah, Megatron did a great job reprogramming him, thought Starscream as he fell into a dream-like state while Shockwave started detailing his chassis.