My Destined One

Cloud x Zack

The night had become cold and yet he couldn't rip himself away from the grave marker. The sword that stuck in the ground was in no shape, way, or form his own. This sword was so special and he had battled with it for years, but it never belonged to it. And finally it was back in it's rightful place. The past year of rain, snow, and other elements of the planet had left rust and dulled the blade down, yet it seemed to still stand powerfully, never falling over through the fierce winds and wearing away of the soil. The hilt of the Buster sword, once wrapped in leather like material was also wearing away, moss growing over it and rain causing it to swell up more than normal.

Blue, green eyes scanned the sword over and over, looking for the slightest hint of the true owner to return. However, that was impossible and while he was quite sensible and knew this; it never stopped him from wishing. Wishing that time would turn back to that moment where a man became a hero and died to save his life, letting him write the wrong of his past. He wanted to erase that sin, to repent. For the guilt he felt even now to be washed away with words of forgiveness. For his mentor, his best friend, and his first real love, to come back from the dead and embrace him again; that's what he wanted.

Cloud licked his lips which seemed to have gone dry in the cold weather, the wind whipping against his skin. Just a little longer, he just wanted to wait a little bit longer. Even if his body was ice cold to the touch and the male seemed to be frozen like a statue; even if he couldn't feel his legs that held him there or the tears that were rolling down his cheeks now, he wanted to wait a little long. Just another minute or two, to see if anything would happen. It was amazing how he would stand out there, night after night for more than three hours at a time, staring at the sword and reliving memories that made him long for the past. "Zack…." The blonde whispered, his eyes closing in pain; the feeling of someone crushing his heart.

He then had a thought that seemed like the last straw. He didn't want to go on without the male at his side. He had always faked a smile, reassured everyone that he was fine back in the 7th heaven. He played along with their antics and even joked. But his life was never complete, never whole. It never had been since Zack had been killed. He was always missing that part of him; whether it had been his memories, his heart, or just a human part of him, he didn't know. He didn't know what he felt anymore. Except for pain, constant and ebbing in the back of his mind that always grew at night when the bustling of the city had died and Tifa had gone to bed. It was like a head ache that grew with time till it felt as though someone was stabbing him over and over, slowly twisting the knife.

Tifa and the others were right by one thing, it wasn't healthy. But it wasn't like he was self inflicting the pain either. His body felt like it was suddenly ready to give, the blonde's vision blurred when he opened his eyes and fell to his knees. "I want to be with you…" He whispered, the howling wind taking away his words and pushing them towards the heavens. "It's all I've ever wanted."

Then came the over flowing memories that he had to fight each and every time. The pain they brought, the pleasure they bought.

His eyes gazed back at the sword as he held his chest, weakness getting the best of him as he wished for once last time; let him come home. The blonde's head fell to the earth with a small plop, losing all consciousness and surrendering to the darkness of dreams and nightmares. These days, Cloud couldn't tell the actual difference between the two. His lips trembled as he felt warmth on them, the only thing that really was able to stir him from the blackness of his mind. The warmth began to run down his body like warm liquid rushing into a glass, feeling him up. Slowly, the blonde's eyes opened.

He made out black hair and the shape of someone shaking their head back and forth. "Tifa?" He whispered, becoming aware that he was submerged in hot water.

"You're awake?" Her voice rang through his head, though he heard it bouncing off the walls and echoing. A pale hand ran through his spikey locks, now watered down. "Don't strain yourself…I'll lecture you later." She stated as she gave him a stern look and left to grab a few more things to get his fever down. Cloud sat up, feeling a damp cloth slip down past his brow. He picked up the cloth loosely, eyes having a hard time on focusing on the solid object in his hand.

He then became aware that Tifa was still talking, slowly reverting in and out of reality. "…Never in all my life? For what? You trying to abandon me and the kids? Do you even think about anyone but yourself and the dead?"

He stopped listening after that, laying back down into the water until Tifa's sharp voice made him sit up, completely aware for once. "Cloud!"

Her voice was angry, eyes showing mixed emotions of anger and sadness. "Cloud…I can't do this anymore. I can't keep watching you throw away the life you were given by Zack to waste it staring at a grave marker. You need to hear this-"

"Shut up."

"He's not coming back. He's dead Cloud. He's dead and so is Aerith. You can't change that fact-"

"I said shut up, Tifa." He hissed now, louder than before.

"When are you going to learn that you can't live in a memory? For once in your life could you just fucking think about someone other than your-"
"SHUT UP."

Cloud's breath was ragged as he stared at her, eyes turning to a green that mimicked Sephiroths. "You don't even know….don't lecture me like I'm twelve. You can't deal with it? Then leave. Take the kids and leave me to stay in my frozen memory which you can't stand."
Tifa took a step towards him, tears filling to the brim before she took off out of the room and slammed the door. He was left sitting in the bathtub, steam gently rolling off his body as his head fell to one side to look over at the wall. He couldn't collect his thoughts, anger and pain bubbling in his chest and making the weight that was crushing it even stronger. What did any of them know of the loss he felt?

He felt his body growing cold with the water, slipping in and out of dreams and reality every so often. He didn't want to move, didn't want to lift himself up out of the water like he had for these past months, to dry off and start again. There was nothing to be had, to do so was futile. "Careful; your thoughts will summon him again."

The voice made his head jerk up, eyes glancing around quickly. Zack, he had heard the other male. He swore he had that time. His chest tightened and he felt himself breaking down from the string of hope that suddenly was yanked away.

His mind was playing tricks on him. His heart felt like it was splitting as he lifted himself out of the water and fell to the tile floor. The male curled up, shivering; pale skin against grey flooring. He had no will to move now, even if he had forced himself out of the tub. Blue eyes stared at his broken reflection in the surface, the scenery turning into the Forgotten City whether he had laid Aerith in the water. His lips parted as he watched the scene play out in front of him, her beautiful face submerged. His eyes gave off a light green hue as the male struggled to sit up, to do something. Always struggling, always fighting. Pushing himself to sit against the wall slightly slumped, he watched the oak door, wondering if it would ever swing open again. "You're a puppet." The words suddenly chilled him to the bone as he saw a shadow beyond the door. "You've always been a puppet…you can't feel anything; so stop pretending you are so sad." Sephiroth hissed, chuckling darkly.

Cloud felt fear prickle him as he shut his eyes, no longer wanting to battle the man of the past. No longer wanting to lift the sword again. Like a child, his hands grabbed his head and his knees pulled in as he curled up tightly into a ball. He couldn't do this again, not again. The door creaked open and Cloud tightened still. "You are pathetic…aren't you going to stand and fight?" The silver haired man's voice whispered, floating closer.

"Go away!" Cloud screamed, shaking his head back and forth.

"And you call yourself a SOLDIER."
"I'm not! I never was! I only thought I was….I never was what he could be."

"I see….you finally understand how low you really are…in that case, I'll release you from your pain." Sephiroth whispered into the male's ear, kneeling down to take the blonde's chin in one had as he held his sword with the other, gripping the blade so it was short enough at this distance for him to use. "You've finally broke, my little puppet." The man's eyes gave off a green malice as he smirked like the devil, tipping Cloud's head slightly to one side like a rag doll.

Cloud closed his eyes as the man grazed over his body shamelessly. "So pretty, like a dove." Sephiroth commented, running a hand down the male's neck to his slender chest. "You'll look just as beautiful when you're dead."

Slowly the silverette pulled back the sword and jerked it forward in a fluid motion. Cloud gave out a scream as the sword stabbed above into his shoulder. Sephiroth's smirk widened as he gazed at him much like a tiger playing with its prey. "Oh, did I miss…shall we try again?"

Cloud's lips parted in a slight yelp as the sword was wrenched from his skin, blood splashing and mixing with the water on the floor, sliding down his bare body. The little strength he had left was slipping away drastically as he saw Sephiroth take aim again. " Cloud!"

He wasn't sure what had moved him; if his body had acted on its own or if someone had shoved him. Either way, he fell to the side and out of the way at the last moment. 'Zack…' That was right, he was Zack's living legacy. He couldn't die yet. He couldn't fail the male again. Cloud began to crawl away, slowly trying to use a wall for support as his finger tips brushed the cold wall. A hand gripping his blonde locks suddenly yanked him backwards, the feeling of a sword running down his bare back to his ass, cutting deeply made his cry out, reaching for the wall; what good it would do him he didn't know. "It seems that little bit of light has returned. Allow me to snuff it out again." Sephiroth purred. The male's gloved hand yanked harder on the locks , pulling Cloud backwards.

The blonde screamed, struggled as he was kept n his hands and knees by the man's grip. "You won't want to live, once I'm done with you." The sound of a belt being undone made the male's blue eyes widen. He turned his head to glare at the silver haired man, only to find the dark haired SOLDIER that haunted him night and day in his place, a deep frown on his slightly tan features. "You asked to be forgiven, right Cloud? You can atone with this." The SOLDIER hissed in his ear, leaning over him and letting the other feel the bulge in his pants brush against that red weeping skin. "You're going to do exactly what I want until you can't move or I get tired of you."

That voice wasn't Zack's. It was too full of malice; full of anger and darkness. "You see him because you wish it were true. You're a puppet, able to be controlled. You see him because I allow it." Sephiroth whispered again, haunting his thoughts as the imposter Zack pulled down his pants, freeing himself from the irritating clothing. Cloud felt the man's aching member run over his back side, teasing the boy.

"Tell me you're sorry. Tell me you wish you had died. Beg for the forgiveness you don't deserve."

Cloud knew it wasn't Zack but he also knew that this punishment was nothing compared to what he deserved. "I'm sorry Zack, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry…forgive me…" He whispered, tears streaming down his face as he heard a cackle behind him, yelping when black leather slapped his bare ass. "Just like that…don't stop.."

Two fingers slipped inside the ex-SOLDIER who continued to chant his apology, his bare ass held up by the hip with one hand while the captive continued to violate him. "Please Zack! I'm sorry!"

He could feel the other shift behind him, ready to enter. Cloud's voice had gotten hoarse and all he could do was whisper the man's name, eyes shutting as he waited to feel the utter humiliation that awaited him.

He didn't expect himself to be released, that was for sure; and when he was, he dropped to the unforgiving ground, landing on his side and panting, not realizing he had been holding his breath. His blonde locks stuck to his face, marked with blood and water and covering his eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to see why the imposter had dropped him until he heard the reason. "You touch him ever again and I'll make sure you don't even make it to the life stream."

Cloud's eyes slowly widened in size at the back of the familiar SOLDIER, trying to find himself in the state of shock. Zackary Fair stood there, very much alive, with an angry snarl on his features much like a wolf that Cloud always symbolized him as. It was as though the man had never been gone in the first place.

Cloud got back up to his hands and knees, crawling over and reaching out, grasping the faded clothing that smelled of earth and blood still. Zack was still there, unlike the countless times where he hallucinated, catching air when he normally reached for the other. Turning to the feeling of being grasped, his eyes saddened on Cloud. "Leave." He commanded the shadow, watching with that powerful gaze as the silver haired demon dispersed into a million black feathers.

Cloud felt his strength slipping again and Zack's hands caught the blonde before he fell back to his side. "You've got to learn to fight the darkness buddy…" Came the male's stern tone but his mixed blue eyes were filled with worry. "Cloud…?"

The blonde was sobbing uncontrollably. "Don't leave again…I can't do it anymore…I can't."

Zack's gaze lightened as the blonde gripped onto his shoulders, holding him close. "You can't go on forever, loving a memory….you have to find-"

"If I have a destined person, it's you." Cloud growled, suddenly lifting his head and pushing his lips against the dark haired males. He didn't want to find a living person. He didn't want to try and go on

In that moment, time and space seemed to freeze as the kiss lightened into something chaste and pure. Zack pulled away from the other, holding his naked body and then took one hand to stroke the tear stained face. "But I…"

His voice had become more solid, less of an echo. It sounded like it was real instead of from inside his broken mind, instead of in the form of a memory. Zack looked conflicted as he continued to stroke the chocobo's flushed cheeks, a decision needing to be made. Could he stay and be the hero that Cloud needed? The blonde looked like he was going to fall into a million pieces if he left once again. He was shaking, lips blue and parted but nothing coming out and his anxiety was killing him. He wanted to hear Zack's answer. But could the male summon up the strength to stay more than a memory? It had been hard enough to make himself slightly solid, feeling the life stream beckon his soul once gain.

"Who is it that you want to stay with…?"

Aerith's voice hummed in both of their heads like the sound of a harp; and only a minute later, her smile came into Cloud's mind. "I see. Go, take care of Cloud. He needs you to be his light, Zack."

It was all that Cloud could do to stay conscious as he felt strong arms carrying him out of the bathroom. He heard Zack whisper his thanks to the flower girl and he remembered his name being resounded; the darkness taking over his mind. When he awoke again, he was bandaged up from head to toe and on his bed. The blackness of his room swallowing him whole besides the moonlight that drifted out the open window. His blue eyes softened as he saw the once departed SOLDIER was standing in the light, turning his raven tresses to look at him and smile. Zack glanced briefly back out the window and nodded to the moon. "You know, if I had a person I was destined to love Cloud, it would have to be you too."

Cloud felt the heat flush to his face, remembering his words in the moment of desperation and passion. Slowly he tried to stand and winced, nearly falling as he took a few experimental steps, Zack's arms guiding him to keep him steady. "Careful….you okay?"

The blonde didn't make a sound as he looked up at the other, the two of them closing the gap in the moonlight as their hands laced and lips touched, limbs and souls meshing together. Even death wouldn't keep the destined from each other.