This was a B-Day gift to Spiky. Heavy rip of a song - Kärlek vis sista ögonkastet by Maskinen.
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Love at the Last Glance
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This is hard to explain, hard to tell, cause it's not just another war story. There are no external wounds or scars that I can show.
We grew together under one of the toughest years of our life's, one of the worst years in Soul Society's history. Something that I had trained for all my life, that you got thrown into without much choice at the age of fifteen. We faced situations that none of us have ever been in before, or even imagined. And in the mist of it all, I realised-
That I had given you my heart, straight out and unbound. I guess it's a bad habit of mine, being too honest and not really capable of holding back, but it doesn't matter, cause you're the same. You know how it goes, we wear our thoughts on our sleeves and more than often that shirt comes off. But sometimes it gets like that and, oh. I think I know what we did wrong, uncontrolled and passionate idiots that we were, and still are.
And I remember our fight by the stairs up to the Senzaikyuu. And I remember my feelings for you then, my thoughts and all of our moves. And I remember how I crashed and how I broke apart and fell. And how you held me up and said that you could take my weights.
And I thought that this had to work, that this had to hold. Cause never before had I met someone that could fill my mind 24/7, and I know that's not healthy, but I don't care. I've never felt for anyone like I do for you.
It was my first war too you know, but no one complained, we did it together, you had my back and I had yours as swarms of Hollows surrounded us. We never let each other down. And I remember the last time we shared a meal on your roof, and then an Arrancar out by the river and-
Oh, shit, how much I love you! Even if I barely knew the meaning of the words. And I don't think I know that today either, it went to fast, and we turned the page. I don't think I'll ever be who I were before I met you, I don't think I can ever turn out the fire that you set in me, no matter how many years that pass by.
When we came together it- it was best sex I've had in all of my life. I'm almost ashamed of saying it out loud, sometimes we didn't even speak, cause we knew and if we had used out voices we would have overflowed and come undone.
I think it's sick that you can feel such passion for one person, that I can. We were like best friends that took it to another level. And the smell at your nape, your kisses and laughs. We ate and drank together, shared Hollows and Arrancars and we came together. And I who just wanted to be close to you, I got inside you instead. And that wasn't my place to be, but I never wanted to leave and I knew that I would never regret anything either. I had never felt anything like that before. Like this.
We just had to wait and see what would happen.
Berry, we're being pulled apart, cause I'm fucking up your life. The life that I don't even have. Soul Society really is right this time. I can bring in money and I can give you everything, except a future, except a life. I've packed my stuff and I'm heading out the door. This apartment we brought, I'm leaving it to you.
Really, all I want is to crawl down in bed next to you, say I'm sorry that things turned out like they did. We were blind as we crashed together and I'm sorry that we have to break apart, and I'm sorry that it tears on you, you're my best friend. I stole your heart as you stole mine but we have to split, cause it's not our time yet.
Maybe some day we'll be together again. But for now I'll just watch you fly away like a paper plane and somewhere out there is our place and sometime it'll be our time.
You are the best Ichigo, and I will probably never find anyone that could even come close to you.
So I'll search until I find you again.
Goodbye.
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