CHAPTER ONE: The Interruption

Meanwhile on Magrathea an outbreak struck the hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings and currently alarmed them. They were being attacked. A severe and tragic war was what they had to face. They indeed did not begin this war, nor did they want anything to do with it. The occurrence just so happens that another type of mammal discovered their planet and found it a great way to get some tasty snacks. These animals were called felines.

According to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy this is what it has to say about cats:

"The slang term for a cat is the kind of woman who a man is suddenly attracted to and can hardly breathe, walk straight, think clearly, or keep his mouth closed. This will cause him to drool uncontrollably. When he approaches the woman her first reaction is to call him a ruthless moron.

Then there is the animal:

ORIGIN PLANET: Barnune (Directions: The eye on the faint Lynx constellation between Ursa Major and Gemini or B89 Area CAT Beta)

Cats like most species in the Universe come in many different varieties and personalities. However, some races do not.

Hiddleton is an unbelievably odd or more likely even planet with fuzzy brown and bronzed creatures. The species on Hiddleton come exactly identical. Repeatedly and shockingly their evolution never evolves. Their deoxyribonucleic acid inside their gene structure is permanently one-hundred-percent identical. Individuality will forever be unthinkable, it is unknown, and it is downright unpractical to the little brown-bronzed creatures. All of which are named "Mel". Their genders are the same, all of their interests, their clothes are the same, and their homes are too. Not to mention that their possessions, their pets and family members. It is all confusingly the same! The world is unattainable to tell apart. The only difference is their age and often at times they must radically perceive the exact millisecond they were born. The children on Hiddleton must learn to do their mathematics at very young ages. Sensibly, this is only because they must determine their own source of singularity.

Fortunately, cats are much easier to tell apart.

Cat's main structure includes a furry tail, whiskers, and pointed ears, giving them an impression of hairy elves. Domestic cats are sweet and cuddly. They pick to use litter boxes. Please note that you should avoid wild cats if all possible. A moment's glance of eye contact between an undomesticated cat may just be the last thing you'll ever see. A type of wild sort would be a lion.

Lions are 'King of the Forest' but most lions live their life in a dry savanna with few trees. Curiously they do tend to be lazy like most kings and sleep all day. Effortlessly letting the women complete all the challenging work. Lionesses go to hunt for food and bring it back to the pride. The bigger lions eat the juiciest parts and only leave scraps for the cubs.

After generations of time cats became sweeter and cuddlier. The Egyptians fancied them when cats paid a visit to Earth. The Egyptians praised them like Gods after seeing them arrive from the great beyond, the magnificent blue skies of heaven. Where in God's name did they come from? The cats accepted their worshipping act and allowed the Egyptians to be loyal and trusted followers. Thousands of years ago, cats were welcomed to Earth as gods and they have never forgotten this."

At the Magrathea council, the head president mouse took a few short breaths. Nervously, he made his way towards the (small for average being but large for average mouse) conference. The mouse paced around in a circle waiting to be called up from backstage. He stretched his ears upwards and listened carefully to what was being said,

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is time." the sound of a man, not a mouse, most certainly a man. His voice echoed over the microphone.

A silence struck the conference.

"Felines from Barnune are to viciously attack us and we are unprepared! My fellow citizens of Magrathea I can only hope this will turn out all right. But the one who has given us faith before, I present to you our president." he stormed behind the curtains and out of sight. He was aging slowly but didn't show it in the way he strode.

"You're up. I wish you good luck." the spokesman called.

"Thank you Slartibartfast." he piped back.

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Heading towards Magrathea, a series of lemon shaped eyes were rapidly floating through the air. How the eyes stared, never blinking, never winking, and never dripping. The feeling was nauseating. The eyes were space ships; inside withheld the powerful godlike species from Barnune, the cats.

The space ships wobbled their way down to the ground. They were bigger than a truck. Each one could probably transport three or four cats, or one wild one. The narrow black iris on the eye opened the hatch and out emerged the commander.

She scratched an ear. Then licked a soft paw.

"Cowards!" she boomed.

Three or four mice that had not been informed about this emergency state had watched the ships land and were now scurrying away.

"Well, where are these rodents?" the commander shouted.

"Probably hiding underground." someone said.

"Hiding!" she screeched.

The cat commander dug her claws into the ground. She began to start a deep growl. Before she ended her frustration, she hissed all the way back into the spaceship.