Disclaimer: All the characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Note: This is my first English fan fiction. So, I hope the English grammar is alright. If it isn't, I really hope you tell me. So I can do it better the next time.

Broken heartbeat

Love is a way of liking someone. Love is something you can lie about. Way easier then you would think. You don't know such things until it happens to you. I had no idea that could lie that easy about their feelings. I believed her, when she told me that she loved me. I never thought she would lie to me.

Until mu fifth year I broke hearts of many girls. She took revenge for all those girls. She let me feel what all the girls felt when I told them I broke up. The worst thing is, I don't blame her. I understand her and I can't stop loving her. I hate me for letting this way of like someone in my body. In my heart.

Lily. It hurts to hear her name, she broke my heart totally. She had no idea what she did to me. No idea.

A tear falls down on my knee. I don't react. No-one could see me here. I'm all alone. My friends don't understand me. They don't know how it is to love someone and thinks that she loves you until you found out that she lied to you al this time. That it was only a matter of revenge. They have never felt like this. I don't even think Sirius knows how to love someone like I love Lily. Remus doesn't want to love someone, so he doesn't know either how it feels. Maybe he does love someone, he just doesn't show it. Peter. Well, Peter doesn't even know how to talk to a girl. So, he doesn't count. A little smile was on my face when I think of Peter. But, it's gone sooner then it came.

More tears follow the first one and fell on my knees. It's not like I don't care. It's just that I don't want to move. I want to sit here and don't go anywhere. Don't listen to anyone. Be alone, just like I feel. Be alone, so I don't have to face others and pretend like I don't mind.

She told me that I wouldn't mind, just like I didn't mind that all those girls got broken hearts. She told me that she could never love a guy who has broken so many hearts. That such a guy shouldn't have girl who he can gave broken hearts. I wanted to hate her because of this, but I couldn't.

I love her, I always will.

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