Title: Secrets Revealed
Author: Sunryse
Website: http://spikes-haven.tvheaven.com
Feedback: Yes please!
Summary: Buffy finds out about Spike's soul
Disclaimer: Yeah right they're all mine, phfft, dream on. Everything
is Joss' and you know it.
*********************
Subscribe to The Spikeaholics Survival Kit
Find fics, vid and site recs. Everything a Spikeaholic would need to
get through the summer and into the next season.
http://spikes-haven.tvheaven.com/ezine.html
*********************
Spike got a what?" Buffy looked at Anya like she had suddenly grew a
third
eye and horns.
"A soul! Spike has a soul, I can smell it." Anya met Buffy's eyes,
"Now he's
not the evil soulless thing that some people think he is."
"What they give these out at the 7eleven now?" Buffy's thoughts
started
churning, visions of all the heinous things he would have had to do to
get a soul made her sick. "Oh God, I knew I should have just staked
him long
ago. I don't think I want to know what he did to be punished."
"Punished? You think this is a curse, don't you?" Anya laughed
nervously,
one part of her mortified at his failure as a demon, the other side
proud
that he could accomplish something of this magnitude. " Well. rumor
has it
that he earned it. Not quite sure how much to believe , but most times
the
demon grapevine is pretty reliable."
Buffy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "Are you sure about
this?"
"Well pretty sure, unless... I might be getting a cold or there's
another
gas leak around here somewhere, but it sure smells like a soul to me."
Anya
turned back to trying to clean up the mess that used to be the Magic
Box,
leaving Buffy standing in the rubble wondering at what point the world
got knocked off it's axis.
*********************
"Anya thinks you have a soul. Do you?" Buffy watched Spike's face
waiting
for the hint of a lie. Crossing her arms over her chest she waited for
the
telltale rise in his voice he always got when he wasn't telling the
truth,
or the little boy look of just getting caught with his hand in the
cookie
jar. Buffy wondered to herself how he could have ever passed the
'Lying
for Vampires' class. "A soul?" Spike looked down at the floor
contemplating what his answer would
be. The whole question seemed like a giant quagmire just waiting for
him to
step in it. "Now why would I go do something stupid like that? OK,
that's
bloody funny. Vampire, remember? Glad to see you gettin' your sense of
humor
back Slayer." His voice caught as it rose an octave higher. His hands
punctuating his words fluttered through the air like a pair of
uproosted
birds with no where to land. "Vampires and souls really don't mix now
do
they? Except maybe for a cursed vampire. Do I look like Angel all
broody
and with bad hair?"
Buffy's heart raced. She had been waiting for the lie that he had a
soul,
but she wasn't prepared for the lie that he didn't have one. "Anya was
right? Was she right that you earned it too?"
Watching her face for a hint of what she was thinking, Spike struggled
with how much or how little to tell her. Bragging didn't seem right,
lying wasn't working. Taking a breath he whispered "Yup, fought for it
and earned it fair and square. It's all mine."
"What the hell did you do that for?" She felt like her legs had been
pulled out from under
her and she was waiting for the floor to hit her in the face. "You
stupid
idiot! Why?"
Spike looked at her, he had expected to see happiness, maybe surprise,
but
anger wasn't on his list. "Seems I buggered up the soulless thing
right
well, so thought maybe I'd see what was happening on the other
channel."
"This is about me, isn't it? About what happened that night in my
bathroom?"
Buffy felt her heart miss a beat as she remembered the look on his
face
after she kicked him off of her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I'm sorry for being
what I
am...was." Spike slumped against the sarcophagus, wishing he had a
cigarette but... out with the old, in with the new.
" Spike you hurt me. It hurt that I did trust you and that I shouldn't
have.
It hurt that you tried to do what you did." Buffy took a deep breath,
"but
I forgave you before you ever slammed out of the house. I finally
figured
out that it wasn't all about me. That there were two of us in that
relationship, and that you deserved more than to be scraped off my
shoe like
a used piece of gum." All the emotions that she had kept inside for
months... things she could only say to him, and things she should have
said a long time ago and had been afraid to, all fighting at once
for escape.
Spike took a deep breath hoping to clam the feeling of overwhelming
dread
that threatened to drown him, "I thought this was what you needed. To
trust
me again." Spike could feel the sting of unshed tears behind his eyes,
biting down on his bottom lip he tried to control the emotions that
threatened to engulf him . " It was what I needed to trust me. To
trust me
with Dawn, to trust me with you... to trust my love for you. I knew
why you
could never love me, and why I could never be loved."
"Dammit Spike! You were right all along." Grabbing him by the
shoulders she
spun him around bringing them face to face. Looking into his eyes,
Buffy
felt like she was seeing him for the very first time, and realizing
she
would never see a part of him again." Spike, I did love you. Not what
you
were, but I loved who you were."
Taking a deep breath she pulled him against her, wrapping her arms
around
his neck. "What if the part of you that I loved is the part that's
changed... or gone?" Burying her face in the crook of his neck she
held him
tight afraid that what was left would slip away too. "I loved you."
Spike sighed as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in
her
hair, a long held back tear sliding down his cheek. "Now you tell me!"
*********************
"A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that? "
Buffy in Tabula Rasa
Author: Sunryse
Website: http://spikes-haven.tvheaven.com
Feedback: Yes please!
Summary: Buffy finds out about Spike's soul
Disclaimer: Yeah right they're all mine, phfft, dream on. Everything
is Joss' and you know it.
*********************
Subscribe to The Spikeaholics Survival Kit
Find fics, vid and site recs. Everything a Spikeaholic would need to
get through the summer and into the next season.
http://spikes-haven.tvheaven.com/ezine.html
*********************
Spike got a what?" Buffy looked at Anya like she had suddenly grew a
third
eye and horns.
"A soul! Spike has a soul, I can smell it." Anya met Buffy's eyes,
"Now he's
not the evil soulless thing that some people think he is."
"What they give these out at the 7eleven now?" Buffy's thoughts
started
churning, visions of all the heinous things he would have had to do to
get a soul made her sick. "Oh God, I knew I should have just staked
him long
ago. I don't think I want to know what he did to be punished."
"Punished? You think this is a curse, don't you?" Anya laughed
nervously,
one part of her mortified at his failure as a demon, the other side
proud
that he could accomplish something of this magnitude. " Well. rumor
has it
that he earned it. Not quite sure how much to believe , but most times
the
demon grapevine is pretty reliable."
Buffy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "Are you sure about
this?"
"Well pretty sure, unless... I might be getting a cold or there's
another
gas leak around here somewhere, but it sure smells like a soul to me."
Anya
turned back to trying to clean up the mess that used to be the Magic
Box,
leaving Buffy standing in the rubble wondering at what point the world
got knocked off it's axis.
*********************
"Anya thinks you have a soul. Do you?" Buffy watched Spike's face
waiting
for the hint of a lie. Crossing her arms over her chest she waited for
the
telltale rise in his voice he always got when he wasn't telling the
truth,
or the little boy look of just getting caught with his hand in the
cookie
jar. Buffy wondered to herself how he could have ever passed the
'Lying
for Vampires' class. "A soul?" Spike looked down at the floor
contemplating what his answer would
be. The whole question seemed like a giant quagmire just waiting for
him to
step in it. "Now why would I go do something stupid like that? OK,
that's
bloody funny. Vampire, remember? Glad to see you gettin' your sense of
humor
back Slayer." His voice caught as it rose an octave higher. His hands
punctuating his words fluttered through the air like a pair of
uproosted
birds with no where to land. "Vampires and souls really don't mix now
do
they? Except maybe for a cursed vampire. Do I look like Angel all
broody
and with bad hair?"
Buffy's heart raced. She had been waiting for the lie that he had a
soul,
but she wasn't prepared for the lie that he didn't have one. "Anya was
right? Was she right that you earned it too?"
Watching her face for a hint of what she was thinking, Spike struggled
with how much or how little to tell her. Bragging didn't seem right,
lying wasn't working. Taking a breath he whispered "Yup, fought for it
and earned it fair and square. It's all mine."
"What the hell did you do that for?" She felt like her legs had been
pulled out from under
her and she was waiting for the floor to hit her in the face. "You
stupid
idiot! Why?"
Spike looked at her, he had expected to see happiness, maybe surprise,
but
anger wasn't on his list. "Seems I buggered up the soulless thing
right
well, so thought maybe I'd see what was happening on the other
channel."
"This is about me, isn't it? About what happened that night in my
bathroom?"
Buffy felt her heart miss a beat as she remembered the look on his
face
after she kicked him off of her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for betraying your trust. I'm sorry for being
what I
am...was." Spike slumped against the sarcophagus, wishing he had a
cigarette but... out with the old, in with the new.
" Spike you hurt me. It hurt that I did trust you and that I shouldn't
have.
It hurt that you tried to do what you did." Buffy took a deep breath,
"but
I forgave you before you ever slammed out of the house. I finally
figured
out that it wasn't all about me. That there were two of us in that
relationship, and that you deserved more than to be scraped off my
shoe like
a used piece of gum." All the emotions that she had kept inside for
months... things she could only say to him, and things she should have
said a long time ago and had been afraid to, all fighting at once
for escape.
Spike took a deep breath hoping to clam the feeling of overwhelming
dread
that threatened to drown him, "I thought this was what you needed. To
trust
me again." Spike could feel the sting of unshed tears behind his eyes,
biting down on his bottom lip he tried to control the emotions that
threatened to engulf him . " It was what I needed to trust me. To
trust me
with Dawn, to trust me with you... to trust my love for you. I knew
why you
could never love me, and why I could never be loved."
"Dammit Spike! You were right all along." Grabbing him by the
shoulders she
spun him around bringing them face to face. Looking into his eyes,
Buffy
felt like she was seeing him for the very first time, and realizing
she
would never see a part of him again." Spike, I did love you. Not what
you
were, but I loved who you were."
Taking a deep breath she pulled him against her, wrapping her arms
around
his neck. "What if the part of you that I loved is the part that's
changed... or gone?" Burying her face in the crook of his neck she
held him
tight afraid that what was left would slip away too. "I loved you."
Spike sighed as he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in
her
hair, a long held back tear sliding down his cheek. "Now you tell me!"
*********************
"A vampire with a soul? Oh my god, how lame is that? "
Buffy in Tabula Rasa