He wasn´t able to look at her,
while she was walking pass him in the corridors of Hogwarts.
He was craving though,
the slightest touch, the smell of her hair
or the feeling of her hair caressing him,
while she was walking next to him made him tremble inside.
It had been weeks, since the day she had told him,
that they weren´t friends anymore,
but for Severus it had been Years.
Years of slowly falling apart,
walking like an empty shell,
the rest of his morality had fallen apart.
He didn´t care anymore. For no one.
And the only goal in his live was now to become a full member of the Death Eaters,
the followers of the Greatest Wizard of Dark Power, Lord Voldemort,
the dark Lord himself,
because after all he knew, the bad, the wicked always win in the end...
and the ones, calling themselves the good People are also evil,
but they are liars.
Just like J. Potter, the good and so blessed Potter,
who didn´t even have the guts to fight him alone -
always with his friends in the back,
but Severus would make powerful friends, yeah and then,
no one would dare to stand against him.
Cause that´s how everyone will knowledge him.
And just as time went by, he began to see that she was smiling at J Potter,
the way she´d do only with him,
the way her eyes were glowing
and her fingertips were lightly touching Potters Hands.
The Hate that deep lingered began to crave it´s way through his mangled heart,
starting to slowly eating through his Soul,
he couldn´t even think because his blood was boiling so loudly in his veins.
Why him? Of everyone in this damned school...the guy blessed with talent,
a family, the guy who tortured him all this years, ridiculed him, embarrassed him,
damaged his Proud so many ways he couldn`t count it...
now was taking the only person who ever cared for him.
Why did she do this? After all she knew...she knew...
and he noticed her look on him,
but he couldn´t see the caring for him,
the only thing he sensed was pity...pity,
the thing he hated so much. Cause no one needed to pity him.
They will see, he thought, they will see soon enough.
She will see soon enough.
She will see, that she made the wrong choice.
That he will become one of the most powerful Wizards of Time.
Right beside the dark Lord himself.
And as he left he couldn´t see her eyes filling with tears,
couldn´t know that she settled for the second best choice ...
because she couldn´t follow his path anymore,
but her heart was still with him...
didn´t know that Potter knew, that she didn´t love him,
as much as she loved Severus.
But nevertheless he loved her.
And still, as her baby-boy was born,
she sung to him the lullaby she had sung to him,
when he was too sad to even speak,
and even after all these years,
she was still caught up in the love to the boy who didn´t choose her...
the boy who was a part of her and would always be.
In Memory of Severus Snape and Lily Evans