Like on most other Saturdays, Beavis and Butt-head were sitting (loitering) outside Maxi Mart, having just finished some nachos.
"Hey, Beavis. I bet I can spit farther than you. Uh huh huh."
"Yeah! You probably can!" replied Beavis. "Hm-hm-heh!"
"Dammit, Beavis, that's not what you're..." Something else caught Butt-head's attention.
Todd's truck pulled into the Maxi Mart parking lot not far from the two teenagers. Todd took his time stepping out of the vehicle. He was covered in scratches and bruises, and his forehead was bleeding a bit.
"Whoa! It's Todd..." Butt-head said in awe.
"Heh-heh! Yeah! It looks like Todd got his ass kicked!" observed Beavis.
"Shut up, Beavis!" chuckled Butt-head. Then, as rarely happens with Butt-head, he produced a coherent thought. It was almost as though a tiny lightbulb appeared by his head. "Whoa...dude. I just, like...realized something."
"What?"
"So, Todd kicks ass. But someone kicked HIS ass. That means that whoever kicked Todd's ass, like...kicks more ass than Todd."
"Whoa, really?! There's someone cooler than Todd?!"
"Uh huh huh, yeah. We should, like, ask Todd who kicked his ass. Then we can go join THEIR gang."
"Yeah! That would RULE! Heh-heh! Hey, Todd!" Beavis called out.
Todd faced him and scowled. "Look, just because I'm a little roughed up right now doesn't mean I can't still beat your ass, girly."
"Uh, no, thanks. Um, I was actually wondering who it was that beat YOUR ass! Hehe."
"Why, you little...!"
Butt-head laughed as Todd lifted Beavis by the collar and beat the crap out of him. When he was finished, he tossed the battered boy back onto the pavement.
He snapped his head in Butt-head's direction. "You want a beating too, princess?"
"Uh...no," said Butt-head. "We just wanna join the gang of whoever beat you up."
"It's none of your damn business!" Todd punched Butt-head in the face, knocking him over right beside Beavis.
"Ow. Uh huh huh," Butt-head uttered. "Dude, Todd totally just touched me."
"Todd punches hard," said Beavis.
"Uh huh huh. You said 'hard'."
"Ohh, yeah. Hehehehe!"
"TODD JOEL IANUZZI!" cried a furious voice.
Todd growled and turned around. "WHAT is it now?!"
A scantily clad 40-something-year old blonde woman over to Todd. She had more wrinkles on her face than a newborn bloodhound and she was holding a cracked beer bottle.
"What is it? What is it?!" she mocked Todd. "Just what the f*ck do you think you're doing to those boys?! What have I told you?!"
"Ohh, you're ready for round 2, Mama?" Todd challenged. "OW!"
The woman had smashed the bottle over her son's head. "You little bastard! You think you're so tough, beating up on kids! Drive me back home and we'll see how f*cking tough you are!"
Despite his whining protests, Todd's mom yanked him over to the truck by his ear.
"Hey! You two girls don't tell ANYBODY about this or I'll kill you!" he called back to Beavis and Butt-head.
His mother smacked him. "YOU LEAVE THOSE BOYS ALONE!" She threw Todd into truck and got into the passenger seat. Seconds later, it had driven out of sight.
Beavis and Butt-head sat up, staring after it.
"Dude...Todd's mom is cool." breathed Butt-head.
"Yeah, she rules!" agreed Beavis. "Do you think she has a gang, Butt-head? And would she let us in it?"
"We're there, dude."
The two began snickering as they imagined how cool it would be to be in Todd's mom's gang.
(A/N: Ah, Todd. Such a butthole.
Well, I dunno what else to say, so please review and fave this story if you enjoyed this, and check out more Beavis & Butt-head stuff on my profile!
Au revoir!)