Chapter 1
"HUEY!" Robert Freeman's painfully commanding voice echoed to the upstairs of the Freeman residence.
"What Granddad?" Huey asked, looking up in annoyance from the page he was reading of Ruins of Empires. He was also glowering with disgust when he learned that Ronald Reagan seemingly became President for the rest of his life as if by magic.
"Get yo' ass downstairs! I got an announcement!" Groaning, Huey got off his bed and headed downstairs to their living room. He was greeted by both Robert and Riley.
"Aye Granddad be wanting to take us on some gay trip" Riley informed Huey.
"Damn it boy! You ruined the surprise!" Robert growled in frustration.
"Where are we going?" asked Huey in a suspicious tone.
"We're going on a road trip —"
"Gay" muttered Riley.
"—to visit a university!" At the mention of college, Huey's eyes widened.
"Um Granddad, in case you've forgotten, I'm 12."
"I know that! I ain't stupid! You took some ACT for the hell of it back in March. Well, I sent in that test and you got a really good score! You got a 30!"
"Really? Huey asked, amazed at his own work.
"Your score attracted the attention of a college. And they were kind enough to offer you the chance to visit their campus already!"
Huey's mind began to race. Ivy league? Doubtful. Community? Pshhhh no.
"Which college?"
"The University of China, Illinois!" Robert declared with excitement. "It's super cheap!"
"Hahehaheha! China, Illinois! The fuck is that!" Riley rocked with laughter.
"I don't like the sound of this" Huey muttered as he scowled.
The following week, Robert had arranged for a cross-country bus service to take him, Huey, and Riley across the country into Illinois. (It was cheaper than flying). Huey begrudgingly packed a suitcase of clothes and his laptop with his academic credentials on file just in case the admissions people needed to see them. Riley packed nothing except a Nike hoodie, his phone, Beats, a toothbrush, a new gold chain he found, and sunglasses which he packed into a sketchy-looking Adidas sackpack. Robert had his suitcase packed and he and his grandsons waited outside on their porch for their bus. It was a warm Tuesday evening in May.
Soon, a bus pulled up, almost completely enshrouded in exhaust smoke. The Freemans made their way to the bus doors as they opened. "Oh hell no! Of course it's you niggas!" grumbled Uncle Ruckus, the bus driver.
"Ruckus?" asked Robert.
"I guess I'm the conductor of the negro express all the way to China, Illinois!" Ruckus sighed. The Freemans climbed aboard, depositing their tickets into a box as they went.
"Anyone else here?"
"No. No white folks so far. Y'all are three-fifths of a person anyways so you niggas don't count as occupants on my bus. And if a white man asks for yo' seat, you sure as hell give him your seat!"
Huey Freeman sat down and sighed, thinking this will be a long ride for a worthless trip.
The bus made stops, picking people up and letting them off but nobody stayed on as long as the Freemans. Ruckus drove through Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana before finally reaching the Chicago area which, Ruckus bypassed with an excruciatingly long detour through the countryside downstate. The University of China, Illinois was a university situated in China, Illinois which was a city in the middle of Illinois.
At long last, they arrived in China, Illinois. And it had only taken 6 long days. Ruckus simply ignored Robert when the latter requested help with baggage so he and the boys carried everything out of the bus and to their motel, the "Screw You Motel". Ruckus checked into the same motel but he arranged to get a room on the other side of the building, out of sight of the Freeman family. As he watched them carry their baggage through the motel lobby, he said, "I'd help y'all with yo' bags, but y'all are coons."
Later that same night, Huey and Riley left their room, leaving Robert alone. Unexpectedly, he received a phone call from Uncle Ruckus from the latter's own separate but better room on the other side of the motel.
"Yes, Ruckus?"
"Robert Freeman! I am already giving this town a bad review! A few minutes ago, I turned on the local news. Instead of a beautiful white woman or a charming, charismatic white man, I get a blond haired negro!" Robert sighed.
"Goodbye Ruckus" he muttered, hanging up.
After they settled in, Huey and Riley walked around the motel perimeter, exploring the town.
"Aye, why almost everybody pale as a bitch here?" asked Riley. Huey had noticed the same thing. Most of the people in China, Illinois were white but they were also deathly pale. It was as if they were sick or something. Their eyes weren't as big as the eyes people had back home in Woodcrest. Huey felt like their little entourage of Woodcrest citizens stood out.
"Aye, this college's mascot is a panda! That's so gay!" Riley joked as he skimmed, not read a brochure for UCI.
"Riley, pandas are an endangered species" Huey sternly replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means that they could go extinct."
"Extinct nigga?"
"They could die out."
"Oh. That's gay."
Huey answered with silence.
"So you hate this place? You gonna hate this college?"
"Yes. This town is outlandish and strange with a comical effect. I did some research and UCI was voted 'the worst college in America'."
"Hahehahehaha fo'real?! Damn, I think I'd actually get into to this place! Place must be off the chain!"
"For you maybe. I wish we were at Miles College."
"What's that?"
"A predominantly black college in Alabama."
"Gay" Riley replied.
"I'm turning in for the night. I got a big day tomorrow apparently" Huey sighed.
"I'm pumped for UCI nigga!"
"I'm not" Huey flatly replied.