The Suicide Note, a vocaloid fanfic

A/N: So… My grandma gave me some of my cousins old sketch books and in one of them I found my cousin suicide note. He died on new years this year and he had kind of wrote a suicide note on tumblr but I just found what I think is the real suicide note.

So enjoy this one shot!

Rins pov

When I'm sad I sing, whenever something upsets me or somebody I care about dies I sing with my brother Len. But it's hard to sing sad songs when your duet partner is the one who died.

My twin brother died a few weeks, he was found dead in a river, everyone believes it's murder, it probably is, there was nothing wrong with Len, he was always cheerful and happy, and he was popular too, he had friends and he got good grades, he had no problems.

I hope the cops find who killed Len, I want them too. The bell rang and people started to walk out of the classroom.

"Hey Miku, want to walk home with me?" I asked my best friend as she packed up her stuff.

"Sorry, I have an important practice today since we have a choir performance tomorrow," Said Miku.

"Alright, I'll go home alone then," I responded.

"I can come over after, and we can watch a movie or something," Said Miku with concern in her voice.

"It's fine Miku, I still have make-up work from the last two weeks I just missed," I told her.

"Well we can hang out tomorrow after my performance," said Miku.

"That sound good," I said as we walked out of the classroom.

We parted ways in the hallway and I started to head home. This is the first time I've been to school since Len died. My mom let me stay home for a few days and those few days turned into two weeks. Miku would bring me notes and the homework everyday but I only started working on them a few days ago. The teachers understand I'm just going through grief and they aren't pressuring me but they do probably want me to finish before the grading term ends next week.

I also quit choir, I was in choir club with Miku and all my other friends but I quit because the club is pointless to be in if I don't have Len to sing with me.

After a short walk I was finally home, I opened the door and was greeted to a wonderful smell. Mom was in the kitchen making curry.

"I'm back!" I called out to her.

She turned around from the food to look at me.

"Welcome home, how was school?" she asked.

"It was fine, but I did get annoyed and kind of sad when people apologized for my loss every 5 minutes," I told her.

"They just worry about you and the only thing they can do to try to help is to apologize," said my mom.

"It make no sense," I mumbled.

"Well I just started making dinner so it won't be done for a while, and dad should be coming home soon but if he's late we'll haft to wait," said mom.

"Thats cool," I said as I tried to escape to my room.

"Before you go I want you to know that I have a box full of Len's books in your room," said my mom.

"Why?" I asked

"When I was cleaning his room one I saw that one of the shelfs on his book case was broken and since the book case was already packed I put the books in a box," my mom explained as she cooked.

"But why did you put them in my room?" I asked her.

"I thought you might want to read some," she said.

"Well I don't," I said as I walked to my room.

I slammed the door the slid down the door in sadness, as she talked tears filled my eyes. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up, I really wasn't in the mood to do my homework right now so I decided to look through Len's book.

He had many classics in this box, I looked at every one and read the summary on the back, a few were interesting, a few I ha already read, and the rest seemed boring.

The final book in the box was a hard back, this was one Len's favorites, it was called The Catcher in the Rye. He had to read this american classic for a book report he wrote last year, he loved the book.

I already kind of knew what it was about. It was about a boy who was kicked out of a fancy school and he goes around New York City for a weekend and he meets new people that he hates, but he pretty much hates everyone except that girl he used to play chess with and his little sister. I read a different book for the report so I never really got to read this book. I thought now would be a good time to try and read it.

I open the book to try to start reading but then I folded up piece of paper falls out of the book and onto the bed. Len might have used it as a book mark, I picked it up but when the light hit it I could see the feint outline of words written inside the paper. I un-folded the paper and inside was a long note written in pen. I thought that maybe it was a rough draft of his old book report but it was in pen. Len only uses pen for important things. I started to read the note.

Dear whoever finds this letter,

If you have found this I am probably dead, or somebody found me before anything happened and you found this in the trash or while digging through my stuff.

This is the last thing I will ever write, weird isn't it? To say something like that. I hope this suicide attempt doesn't fail miserably.

Suicide?

Most people don't understand suicide, most people don't understand people. I have my own reasons for doing this, my main reason being that I'm tired. I'm not a very good singer, I'm not as good as my sister Rin.

I always thought Len was a better singer than I was, and he even knew that.

I have always been good at writing songs though, it was one of the only things that gave me happiness. But my parents tell me that you can't make a living writing songs. They say I'm smart enough to have a practical job but I don't want a practical job. But that isn't what bothered me. I wanted our music teacher to have the club sing my song Fire Flower but she said that she could never have her choir sing a song written by an amateur. Nobody believes in me, not even somebody that I looked up to. So I'm going to kill myself. I know people won't understand why I did it and they will never forgive me, but I have lost all my purpose in life and the only option left is death.

Len… why didn't he tell me about that? I could have helped him, I could have been there. Tears were streaming down my face but I kept reading.

I have friends and family that will miss me, I will miss them too, I am so sorry, it's nobody fault, whoever reads this please don't blame yourself. And if Rin is reading this I want to tell her something.

Rin. I love you more than anyone else in the whole entire world, I care about you so much and I have kept myself going this long because of you. You have always been there for me and I am so grateful for that, I'm sorry to leave you but not even you can keep me here. I love you and I'm sorry.

Before I finish this note I want to add a song to the end that I just wrote, enjoy.

I seem to be growing up so fast

And I can't seem to stop

My limbs hastily growing as well

Along with my own love, so quickly

They grow at such a stupid rate

So I'll end up throwing them away

That's why in order to be able to fufill my love

I'll keep on being the same greedy me

And then I'll

Decide to forget and start to hate

The truly clumsy and useless me

And then I'll...

And then I'll

This life is no more than a gift

Given to me by my mother and "God"

And so I'll

Refuse to use it like everyone else

And just toss it with the weekly trash

Without having any high expectations

I feel the curtain begin to raise up high

Revealing a theater seating the truth of life

Empty without a soul

I'm drowning within a wave of sadness

It seems that my heart is very sick

But all medicine never seems to work

Not just that

It's humiliating but I'm sorta poor

And can't afford a doctor

That's why I

Crawl along the distant past

My wounds festering and peeling away

So one day,

The emptiness will disappear as well

Dripping with gore like I'm throwing up again

That kind hearted girl with the dark hair

Who always reads in the corner of the room

I was made fun of for falling in love with her

And the mocking never ends

I'm drowning within a wave of sadness

The departure every morning from the train station

Calling my expected ride

Ends my happy moments all again

As I step onto the train

In order to live, in order eat, I've given up so many precious things

No matter how much time can pass

I'll never fill this hole

I'm drowning within a wave of sadness

I hope whoever finds it like this song. Well I'm going for a swim now, goodbye world

-Len Kagamine

W-Why did Len haft to go through this? How come he didn't tell me? Why didn't I notice? But it's not my fault, it's theres.

I fold up the note and put it in my pocket, I then go over to my desk and grab a pair of scissors, it's all their fault.

I wipe my tears and hide the scissors behind my back.

I go out into the hallway and head towards the kitchen. My mom is finishing the cooking.

"There was a little bit of traffic but dad should be home in a few minutes, and I'm almost down with dinner," said my mother when she saw me.

"Alright," I responded.

I got closer to her, she didn't pay much attention to me, she probably just thought I was hanging around because I was hungry, but I was angry.

I got right behind her and I clutched the scissors in my hand, I lifted them up and stayed her in the throat. The scissors went right through, you could her my mother gag on her own blood and struggle, but she was dead.

I pulled my scissors out of her neck and her body fell to the ground as she bleed out, she was one of the people who doubted Len, she was one of the reasons he's dead. I turned off the stove as I heard the door un-lock.

"I'm home," my father called out.

I went out to see him, he was startled by the blood all over me.

"Rin? Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Is it that time of the month?" he asked with concern.

I the ran and stabbed him, I didn't kill him but he fell over.

In panic he tried to grab the phone out of his pocket but I took it from him and threw it against a wall.

I then stood over him and stabbed him over and over again and over again.

"You didn't believe in Len's dreams! You didn't support him! Your the reason he's dead! Your the reason he's gone!"

After my fit I saw the bloody remains of my father under me, I decided to stab his eyes, then his head, and I cut out his tongue. I knew he was already dead but these were just some safe measures, and my anger. I then got up and went back to the kitchen and went to go cut out my mothers tongue, just in case.

My clothes had been dirtied with their blood but I still had one person left to kill. I first went to the bathroom to wash off blood that got on my face and on my hands, some even got in my short blonde hair, I then went to my room and put on a plain black summer dress and a big white coat.

I put Len's note in my pocket again but I also got a small notepad and a pencil. I got a kitchen knife before leaving the house.

I kept my hands in my pocket as I walked to the school, there was still some left over evidence of blood that I couldn't wash off, I guess I would always have their blood on my hands.

I got to the school right when practice was being let out.

"Rin!" said Miku when saw me.

she gave me a big smile and a bear hug.

I hugged her back but soon relished my grip and held back.

"Want to walk home now?" She asked.

"No thank you, I haft to talk to Sakine Sensei," I told her.

"Oh, I can wait for you," said Miku.

"No, please don't by the time our conversation ends it will be dark, and you hate walking home in the dark," I told her.

"True… okay, I'll leave, but if you need me just call me, oh and be safe walking home!" said Miku.

"Thank you and goodbye," I told Miku as she left.

I then walked to the choir room, Sakine Sensei was sitting at her desk and doing paperwork or something.

"Oh hello Rin, we missed you today, Miku had to tell me you officially quit, will you at least go see the performance tomorrow?" asked Sakine Sensei.

"Why wouldn't you let us sing one of Len's songs?" I asked.

"You knew about that?" asked Sakine sensei.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Well at the time I didn't think that un-published songs should be sung by students-"

"Bullshit." I cut her off.

I pulled out my knife and charged at her, I stabbed her in the head and he blood splat out onto my coat, her head leaned out and she fell out of her chair. I got on top of her and cut out her tongue. With all their tongues gone they could never hurt people again with their words. Well I guess they can't do that if they are dead, but cutting out their tongues seemed like a good punishment.

looked down on Meiko's desk and looked at the programs she had for the show tomorrow.

I picked one up and was shocked to see what the last song was.

Fire Flower written by Len Kagamine. In memory of one of our dear students Len Kagamine, he will be missed

Tears began to spill from my eyes, they were going to do this for Len. I regretted killing Sakine Sensei now. And Mom had his songs book so I shouldn't have killed her either. I kept crying, but I couldn't stay, I couldn't be found out.

I took my coat off and laid it over Sakine Sensei like they do with those blankets in detective shows. I then took off running, I left through the back door then went into the city.

I hung around in an alley until it got dark, I could see when it was still light outside and when the sun was still out I wrote a note.

I am Rin Kagmime and I killed Lenka Kagamine, Rinto Kagamine and Meiko Kagamine.

I then put the note in a pocked I had in my dress along with Len's suicide note I got from the coat before I left the school building.

It got dark but I still waited for midnight to come along, once midnight did come along I went to the park, the gates were closed so I just claimed over.

Once I was in I went to the closet bridge that was over the river that flows through the park. This is the river where Len was found and this was probably the park where Len died.

I got onto the edge and looked down at the water, the full moon and outside street light gave enough light for me to see my face, I looked at myself, I hated myself.

But I love Len but once I stand up I can meet Len, then as I started to stand I lost my balance and I plummeted towards the water.

A/N: This got dark fast, writing about gore calmed me down from the shocked state I was in earlier.

Also this is the second story I have written where Rin has killed people for Len, at least she didn't kill Len this time.

Also here is a little disclaimer: I don't own the song lyrics or vocaloid. The song was written or produced by Neru I think…. I don't know.

Anyway if you liked this story please review!