Author's Note:
You guys probably know how upset I am about Klaine seperation and no kisses and junior!Blaine *growls* and all that stuff, so this was really a way for me to vent unhappy Klaine feels...mostly unhappy Blaine feels. Hope you like it (sorry if I made your day sad...there are plenty of fluff fics to give you back your rainbow dosage for the day). Reviews make on happy by the way ;D
Warnings: Rated M for gay slurs and bashing :/
Disclaimer: I own nada, except the idea for the fic and the writing that goes into it. If I DID own Glee, then Klaine would be kissing every episode. And Brittana. And Tina would have solos... ¬¬
Head down.
Don't make eye contact.
Walk fast.
Don't bump into anyone.
Try and find a friend.
Keep books close to body.
The impact of the cold metal slamming into his side came from nowhere – it was just a rough push to his side, and then he was flying backwards into the lockers. Pain exploded across his back and shoulders – the icy fire licking its way across the skin and deep into his bones.
"How's that for you queer?" the kid sneered, fists clenched, stepping ever-closer. "Think that because your little gay Glee club were champions for five minutes made you one now? Huh?"
Blaine shook his head, quivering against the locker, trying not to drop his books and keep his sore arm supported.
"I was asking you a question!" the boy exclaimed, grabbing him roughly by his shirt and pulling him up to meet his face. "Answer me when I talk to you!"
His spit flecked into his face, the angry gaze burning into Blaine's eyes, that were swimming with tears, trying not to meet his death glare, but give a solid answer.
"No," Blaine gasped weakly, trying to keep his feet on the ground and not get choked by his collar that was tight around his neck "No. I'm not a champion. I'm not."
"I know you aren't." The boy replied, pulling his collar even tighter. Blaine gave a small choke, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. "Poor little fairy, so weak because his little fuck-buddy has gone far away and left wittle Bwainers on his own. Can't handle it on his own."
"Don't talk about Kurt like that." Blaine growled, and despite his current situation, made the boy waver for a second as he saw the anger radiating out of him; but soon he returned to normal.
"Oooh I can't talk about lover-boy like that can I?" the boy gasped mockingly. "I am so sorry! What are you going to do about it then Anderson?"
"Nothing," Blaine replied quickly, bowing his head. "Nothing at all."
"Good." The boy snapped, throwing him out of his grip and back onto the lockers; another slam echoes around the hallway. None of the students looked twice as they walked past the scene. "But what are you then?"
Blaine gave a small whimper, trying to hold himself upright.
"I said, what are you!" the boy demanded, holding his fist to him face. Blaine shook his head again, biting his lip to stop the tears from brimming over.
"I can tell you what you are." The boy said, coming up right to his face. "You're nothing but a weak, worthless faggot. That's what you are. You should be dead. Not here. I can't believe you even brought yourself here. Now get the fuck out of my sight Anderson – I can't bear to look at your little homo face any longer."
Blaine nodded, a tear slipping down his face and he walked quickly in the opposite direction, away from that monster of a child and to the choir room. Everything had changed. All the other Glee kids were okay. They had won last year. Fine. People respected them for it, and left them alone. But for him, this was different. He didn't have Kurt anymore. He was gone. He had the entire school to face by himself. After Karofsky, and Kurt and Santana, people had left him alone, and hadn't caused any trouble. But now that Kurt was in New York...it was him against the world.
He ran into the choir room, slamming the door shut and then sinking down onto the floor, letting his sobs reign free. He slid his hands through his hair – now messy as hell, trying to tuck his shirt back in, rubbing at the probably red chafes on his neck, trying to cradle his aching arm and back.
Kurt wasn't just his boyfriend – he was his saviour. When he walked hand in hand with him down those halls, he felt safe. He felt he could do anything he wanted, be anyone he wanted. Kurt was taller than most guys – he had that subtle strength people did notice. He used to be just like him now – small, weak – but this year things changed. He missed the protection Kurt gave him – he liked having someone bigger and braver than him to be by his side. And now...he had no one.
He ripped his phone out of his pocket, trying to stop his gasping sobs wracking through his body as he scrolled through his contacts to that name he'd called and texted so many times that had began so long ago. He pressed the call button and waited.
'Hey you've reached Kurt Hummel! I'm sorry I can't talk right now – but leave a message and I'll get back to you! Much love!'
Blaine gave a small whimper, but held himself together.
'Hey Kurt, it's me...I know you can't talk right now...probably having an amazing time in class.' Blaine cursed himself for being so obvious that he'd been crying, how sad he sounded when he talked about NYADA 'I just...I really need to talk to you. Could you call me back as soon as you get this? Or at least text me? Thanks...I love you.'
He hung up, only to start crying again.
His Kurt, his beautiful, beautiful Kurt, miles and miles away in the big city, forgetting about him, forgetting about his old life, forgetting about everything in the world. He needed to talk to Kurt so badly. He just craved for his voice. For that angelic voice to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, as he sat in his bed holding his pillow, pretending it was him wrapped up in his arms, telling him how much he loved him.
'Kurt...I really need to speak to you. Please call me back. Please.'
'Kurt I'm sorry I keep leaving you messages, but this is really important and I have no one to talk to and I just need to hear your voice...I'm sorry.'
'Kurt please. Please. Please. I need to talk to you. I need to. I can't do this without you Kurt, I can't. I need you Kurt. Kurt. Please Kurt.'
Blaine was on the verge of screaming, each message become needier and needier, his sobs more pronounced, getting more and more vulnerable, more weak, more useless.
"Kurt please." Blaine choked, begging to a person that wasn't even listening. 'It hurts Kurt. It hurts. Please call me. Please...just do something. Please." He whimpered into the speaker and bit the skin on his hand after doing so, after sounding so stupid. His voice kept on cracking, choking on every word he said.
"I love you so much Kurt." Blaine sobbed, gripping onto his phone like a lifeline. 'Just please...call me. Please. I love you."
He hung up for the last time, only to feel his phone pulled out of his grasp, a pair of strong arms wrap around him, and then another soft hand to slip into his.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked, confused with all the tears and the hurt his was feeling, and looked up, to find it was Sam and Tina.
"Sssshhh Blaine," Tina hushed, rubbing her thumb across the back on his hand. It only made his heart hurt more. Kurt used to do that. He felt himself being set down on the choir rooms chair's gently, and seconds later, the door shut once more. A pair of small arms curled around his waist, pulling his head down into the crook of their neck, and just holding them.
Blaine was now too numb to cry, but the odd tear slipping down his face every now and then.
"Do you want to talk about it honey?" Tina asked gently after some time, brushing his curls out of his eyes. He shook his head, burying further into her neck.
"I know you miss him." Tina told him softly. "I miss Mike too. Sometimes I just feel like a piece of me has been ripped off. But I get through. When I call him, or Skype him, I remember how he's still there for me. How much he still loves me."
Blaine nodded, looking up with teary eyes into warm brown ones.
"And I know that you feel the same way too. Maybe even worse. Mike and are a perfect match. I love him, he loves me, and it'll be that way for the rest of our lives. But I know with you and Kurt it's even stronger...I don't believe in soul mates...but you two made me."
"I just love him so much Tina." Blaine choked, another salty tear trickling down his cheek. "I can't...it hurts to be without him. Like...my heart hurts. My head hurts. My hands feel cold because he's not holding it anymore. I always feel freezing...and he's not there to warm me up. My lips feel rough without his touch. My entire body hurts and feels weightless...because without him to hold me down...I have nothing. Nothing at all."
Tina gave a soft smile, giving him a light kiss to the forehead.
"It'll be okay." She promised, "He'll be home for winter break soon."
A few minutes later, there was a small buzz.
"Blaine." Tina whispered, and he opened his eyes. "It's Kurt."
His eyes grew wide, snatching his phone from her and looking at his new messages.
Blaine...I love you so much. So much. I sang Blackbird today and I thought of you. I think about you every minute. You're not alone. You're still with me. Call me or skype me once you get home, and I'll be right there. I promise. Courage, my beautiful boy x
Blaine gave a small smile, a little happy tear making its way down his face.
"God I love him." Blaine sighed, getting up from the chair.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Tina asked, handing him his bag.
"Yeah...I'll be okay." Blaine replied. "...I know...most guys don't like admitting that they need help...or that they're hurting...but thankyou. I knew this year wouldn't be easy...and I really need a friend like you. So thankyou."
"It's fine." Tina said, kissing his cheek. "I'm here for you."
Blaine smiled, pressing his lips quickly to her forehead, before walking to his final class of the day. He didn't feel better. He still didn't feel complete, or whole again. He still felt pain and loss. But just knowing that he was still loved, that he wasn't alone. He knew was ready to face anything.
Anything but a full-force push into the lockers once more.
"I thought I said I didn't to see your miserable little face!" the boy exclaimed once more, "What part of 'get the fuck out of my sight don't you get?"
"You know what, James," Blaine said in a low voice, addressing him properly and crossing his arms, drawing himself up to his full height. "You're just another small-minded bastard I see running around this god-forsaken school."
"How dare you even –"
"I'M NOT FINISHED!" Blaine cried out, throwing his hands up and silencing him. "I know it takes a lot to stand up and talk about something you care about, I get it. But ruining a person's life for being who they are is. Not. Right. So stop being such a opinionated git, get over the fact that yes, I am gay, I have a boyfriend, we do unimaginable things you're mind probably can't even comprehend, and LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"
James looked at him for a brief second, before shoving his fists in his pocket, glaring at him.
"I'll let you off once, Anderson." He snapped. "But remember – this ain't the end."
Blaine smiled patronizingly, watching the figure skulk off down the hallway, and flipping his middle finger up at him as he went. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, sighing deeply.
"Oh Kurt...if only you were here." He murmured, picturing those amazing blue eyes, before walking into his lesson.
"Hey..."
"Hi, love."
"Look I know I was –"
"No Blaine. I know. I know okay. I love you alright. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm so sorry Kurt-"
"Blaine, sshh."
"I need you Kurt...I really need you."
"I know baby I know."
"I miss you Kurt."
"I miss you too."
"I love you...I love you...I love you so much it hurts."
"I love you too."
"Forever."
"Forever."
Like? Hate? Reviews make me and Pavarotti happy :3
To get this all out the way, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT IMPRISONED! (for those of you who don't know what the hell I'm banging on about, go look at my profile :D) I know I haven't updated in like three weeks and I am SO SORRY! This little one-shot is basically to tell you all that I'm still alive and writing, and not dropped off the face of the earth! A little mention for Calculus-is-Hard, who dropped in a review a few days ago telling me to get a move on with the fic and everything, so this is for you mostly, and that I shall be writing as much as I can soon! Exams and stuff - such a crappy time to publish a fic when you're trying to revise too!
I have written a lot of chapter 2, and plan to update BY FRIDAY. If I don't you have the right to spam me with 'get a move on's and 'bitch you are CRAZY!'s. You have the right. I'm on 2000 words and plan to get to 3000 before I publish - so wish me luck!
Other than that little rant, thanks for reading it. My exams are soon to be over, and then I have the rest of term and the whoooooooole summer to finish the fic! A chapter a week even (okay don't take me literally there...)
Much love, and THANKYOU for your patience x
Grace xx