The Ghost of You

Authors note: This story has no relation to "High School Never Ends". This is a revised version of the first chapter, I didn't think the last one was good enough.

Chapter 1: Life Goes On

[KPoV]

Life had been strange for me, for these last two years. It wasn't school; it wasn't family (although Chuckie hadn't really been the same). It felt like yesterday, and everything had gone by in a blur for me, but a whole year had gone by since the night where no one had been the same. It was the night, when we were all fifteen, when one of my best friends: Tommy Pickles had been taken from us.

Police said it was abduction, a crazy, unprovoked attack. There had always been a spark between us. The night before we were on the verge of something major and there was no way he would have left me (some police suggested that he ran away), or Chuckie, or Dil, or Phil and Lil or even Angelica. I know he had been abducted, and his parents knew it to. We all pulled together as one big family to get through it. There was a lot of crying from all of us and I spent a lot of time on my own.

Typically, it was a rainy day in winter, a few weeks until Christmas. Yet, no one cared, I doubt it entered their minds. It didn't really register with me, there was an ache in my chest all of the time. My parents even got me counselling, I was obsessed with finding him. The councillor, thankfully, found nothing wrong, but still. Chuckie had been great with me as well, even though he was hurting to.

Chuckie hadn't been the same, like I said. He had hit the books big time, he never stopped. He spent all of his time in his room, door locked and classical music playing too loud. It was a strange reaction, even for him. However, he was my brother, and strangely, the loss of Tommy had brought us together, had brought everyone together. Everyone was buying things for Didi and Stu and Dil, trying to help, but it just made them feel awkward.

The rain poured down on my head and I didn't mind. I tried to go on with my life, I really did, but it was so hard. The school looked empty and dark from where I was. I had even taken to walking to school on my own, something I never did before. A car drove past me and knocked me out of my memories when it covered me in water from going through a puddle.

I sat down on the bench beside me. Today was a pretty bad today, I didn't feel right, worse than usual. "Kimi?" a deeper voice questioned.

I looked up. It was Phil and Lil. Phil had toughened up afterward, even though he was badly affected. He cut his hair and constantly went to the gym. He had, as a result, been approached by hundreds of other girls. Another difference was that he didn't talk as much. He ignored them, or at least that's what I head. Lil was the same as she always was, bar a strange look that I noticed from time to time, when she looked off out of the window for a long time.

"Hi guys," I said, looking at their thick rain coats. It was raining all of the time recently, badly. I didn't have one on.

"Kimi you'll catch a death," Lil said, sitting beside me.

Phil pulled of his coat and handed it to me. "Here," he said, sitting the other side.

"Thanks," I said, pulling it on. It was far too big, but I didn't mind, it was warm.

"Kimi you're going to be late again," Lil said. "The teachers are getting tired of it."

"I know, I know," I said, pushing on Phil's shoulder to get up. "Let's go then," I announced drearily, walking on ahead of them, letting them catch up later.

Later on, in class, the teacher went on and on about maths. Despite what happened, I was still doing well at school, not great, but well. At first, some kids teased until I ripped the hair out of a bully who mocked Tommy. I was excluded for a week, would have been forever if there had been any other circumstances, and since then people had left me alone. Phil and Lil were sitting either side of me. They were both taking notes constantly, not even looking up.

The day went on quickly in a blur, like everything else really. I was getting tired of school now, but there were only two grades left. Fucking hell, whenever I think of things like that I punch myself in my head. How dare I think that I hate life and wish it gone when Tommy was robbed of it? It's awful how life takes the kind and the leaders, Tommy would have gotten us through this.

I rushed out of school, making my way through the crowd quietly, not causing any attention. I try to do that, I don't want people to do anything like that, I don't want their pity. I don't deserve it, it was my fault! I couldn't look Didi and Stu in the eyes since they found out. I wanted something from the nearby store so I sent Tommy. I never saw him again. If there is a God, or if Tommy can hear me, does he forgive me for what I did.

I had come a long way. At first I could barely move through the pain, the feeling like my insides had been taken from me. Every time his face came on the news I cried, when I saw his parents on the news I cried, when I looked out the window I cried. I didn't believe he was dead, I couldn't.

"Hello Kimi," Chuckie said, he had caught up to me. If only Tommy could see how different he looked. His messy hair was combed down and over and suit bottoms and a top. "How was your day?"

"Fine," I lied, not wanting another "it's not what he would have wanted conversation" and at the moment I might hit him if he tried it. "What about you?" I asked.

"It was alright," he explained. "Got the results for some exams, got straight As." Is that your angle, Chuckie, try and normalise things for me?

"It's not going to work, Chuckie," I said, turning away.

He grabbed me by the shoulder. "Sorry Kimi," he said, turning me around. "I just wanted to help you, it's what brothers do." I saw something written on his bag and smiled slightly. It had always been there, but now it was so effective. It read: "A babies got to do, what a babies got to do". It was something Tommy had said all his life, since I could remember. He probably thought it in the cot.

"It's been a year," I said, walking with him. "Why don't I feel any different, why won't this feeling go away?"

"These things take time Kimi," Chuckie muttered, turning his head to a ground. "I know, I still feel it, I doubt it will ever go away. We have to move on though, it's what…"

"Don't say it," I interrupted.

Chuckie nodded. "Your coming to the anniversary tonight, aren't you?" he asked.

I bit my lip. I hadn't even thought about that and it must be why I feel so awful, it was one year today that Tommy was taken. I nodded slowly, thinking how Didi and Stu would be. They usually were nice to me, saying it wasn't my fault, though I doubt they meant it.

"Good," he said, opening his car door for me. The rain was still pouring and making a comforting patter on the window in front of me. Chuckie got in, started the engine and drove down the road, toward our house.

{Later}

My room had changed a lot as well; I noticed it as I pulled on my black clothes. I hated doing this, but it was a sign of respect. Tommy had always said that if he were to die, he wanted everyone to have a laugh, but there was a noticeable lack of laughing around us. I don't remember the last time I laughed, though it was probably with Tommy.

My room was bare, nothing on the walls, but a picture of me and Tommy on my bedside table. I combed my hair at my mirror and put it in the usual bows that I had when we were together, anything that could bring me back to the happier time made me feel better, more calm and happy, even if it was for a second before I was pulled back to this cruel, cruel world.

Chuckie pushed open the door, Mum and Dad behind him. "Come on then, Kimi," Chaz said, smiling at me. "Let's go." I could see in his eyes, behind his glasses, that he wanted to say that I looked lovely, but I didn't want it, I didn't deserve compliments. I didn't deserve anything.

The trip to the Pickles residence was a quiet one. When we arrived, candles were around the house, with a picture of Tommy on the wall. "Thank you for coming," Stu said, as we came into the living room. "He would have been happy," he smiled, a thin tear trickling down his face.

I smiled at Stu as a tear left my eyes. He nodded to me, a simple one. He knew what I wanted, I couldn't be in here.

"Where are you going," Chuckie whispered.

"Upstairs," I replied. "I want to see his room again."

Chuckie nodded in understanding and I left the room and trudged up the familiar stairs, thinking about all of the great times. I reached his room and sighed, crying now. "Why God?" I muttered. "Why Tommy?"

I walked into Tommy's room, it was preserved exactly as it was and it was like I could feel him. The room was hot, boiling, so I went over to the window and opened. The rain was going in a different direction. I looked down into the garden, where we had all played as babies. Why couldn't we go back to then? Everything was so simple.

The garden was like it was year ago, the remains of a left alone tree house soaked and sorry looking, but the memories of it made me feel happy for a change.

I saw a movement in the garden. It was probably Spike, who was out of the house all the time now. I looked closer and saw something else. It was a small boy, a tiny boy. No wait, it was a baby playing with a ball with a star on. I leaned out of the window, why was there a baby in the garden. I was just about to call downstairs when I realised something and stumbled back. I had seen enough pictures to know who this was.

He had a blue shirt on and a bald head, with a smile which was noticeable. He looked happy. As I looked, I saw that he was completely dry even though the rain was pouring on him. This could not be real, there is no way this is real, I must be seeing things. There is no way my dead friend as a baby could be in my back garden.

The baby stopped playing with the ball and looked up at me. He chuckled and waved, after that he giggled slightly and disappeared in a puff of grey smoke which spread around the garden, forming a fog.

I walked slowly toward to window, starting to panic a little. I looked out of the window again, though there was a different image now. An older boy, around ten was running around, alone, talking to someone. He, to, had a blue top on and blackish purple hair. He was quite tall and lean and I recognised him instantly as I had been thinking about him constantly. It was him but it couldn't be. It couldn't be, it was Tommy again! "Tommy," I gasped. "Tommy," I repeated out of the window, a tear ran down my face in shock as my eyes went wider.

The boy looked up. Suddenly, there were fifteen of them. All different ages, but all the same age. "Tommy," I called. "Tommy, is that you?"

"It is," a tearful voice behind me said.

I turned, terrified. There, behind me was a fifteen year old boy dressed in a blue top. He was transparent, slightly, and blurred, but it was definitely who I thought it was. "Tommy," I whispered, reaching toward him.

"Hello Kimi," he said, wiping a tear out of his eye, "it's been a long time."

End of Chapter 1