She watches the TARDIS evaporate into thin air, hears the wheezing, groaning noise that is ever familiar. She begins to walk away, the now ever present emptiness inside her growing with every step. She's never again going to fly away with him, to some completely obscure planet in the very corner of a universe. She's never going to run around the console, trying to follow his speech as he jabbers on about something completely irrelevant, certifiably insane and incredibly intelligent at the same time. She's leaving an entire book, let alone a chapter, of her life behind, and she's beginning something completely new, completely unprecedented.
She's going to have a baby.
She was planning on telling him today, letting the Doctor know that firstly, it wasn't Danny who'd emerged from the vortex-like thing in her hallway, and secondly, that she was expecting Danny's child. But then he'd told her about Gallifrey, how he'd finally found it and he could, at last, return home, and she didn't have the heart to tell him. He shouldn't have to worry about her anymore. He could go back to caring for his people, his world. So she tells him that they're going to be fine, her and Danny. It feels like a stab to the heart whenever she says his name, but she keeps a smile on her face as well as he does.
Now he's gone, and Clara feels more alone then she's ever remembered feeling. She can still feel the words lingering on her lips.
I'm pregnant.
A tear rolls down her cheek, and she wipes it away with the palm of her hand. Nearly everything is becoming so, so different. She's lost Danny, the only man she's truly loved. She's lost the Doctor, the man who showed her the stars, who became her best friend. And somehow, she's going to be a mother. All by herself.
She continues down the street, wrapping her arms subconsciously around her abdomen. Yes, everything's gone completely haywire, but she has to keep it together. She has something, someone, to care for. It's not just her anymore.
He sits in the seat across from the console, index finger and thumb resting on his temple. It's so, so quiet now, being alone in the TARDIS. Of course, Clara didn't stay around every minute of every day, but he always knew she would be coming back.
Now, she isn't.
She's so in love with PE, so set on a future with him. He sees why, now. Danny's a brave man, and even he has to grudgingly admit that he's well deserving of Clara.
He knows her, so so well. Sure, she can be rather confusing and annoyingly bossy, but he's learned many, many things about her. One of which is how much she cares for others over herself, and how she will always, always help them.
Which is exactly why he lies to her.
He tells her that he's found Gallifrey, that he's finally getting to go home. She completely goes for it, smiling and congratulating him. He replies with a smile, and even lets her hug him. Then she's gone, and he's back in the TARDIS, left wondering.
He knows she's pregnant. Frankly, she couldn't make it anymore obvious. She's practically glowing, and he could feel the slight raise of her abdomen against hers when they embraced.
He leans back against the chair, pressing his eyes shut. He doesn't want to leave her, not now. But she has PE now, and she's growing another human inside of her. She doesn't need him anymore. Humans tend to be like that eventually.
He's alone again. Except something about this time makes him feel even more companionless. He doesn't have any idea where Gallifrey is, where it ever could be. He doesn't know where his home lies, and even though he's known this for decades, this time feels so much more...final, in a way. Really proving that he's completely clueless.
He's truly alone, this time.
AN: It's safe to say that Dark Water and Death in Heaven killed me inside. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I really wanted to write it to get it out of my system. Also, I'm completely convinced that Clara's pregnant. Anyone with me?
Reviews would be so lovely :)
Xoxo,
-J