A/N: Bah, humbug! I'm here to interject some cynicism into this occasion. Call me a Scrooge, but I believe that if you shouldn't be falsely nice to people (especially those you don't get on with), however you should be the best person you can be all year round. The movies on TV this year have only been about getting what you want, not so much about sacrifice or helping others at all. And religious messages like the holiday should be about? Ha! I'm not even Christian or Catholic, but it saddens me to think what children are learning from this festival.

These ficlets are in response to a community challenge over on livejournal. There were twelve prompts given, which are the chapter titles. The idea of Christmas cards causing each story was inspired by looking at the card-festooned door of the girl I baby-sit for.

Have a Happy Commercialism Day, one and all!

Cards.

It all started out quite innocently enough, as many things do. This would be the Autobots' second winter on the planet, and Spike, Carly, Chip and some of their other human friends had decided it was about time to introduce them to Christmas.

"What's this?" Optimus Prime asked as Spike handed him a small red rectangle.

"It's a Christmas card. Go ahead: open it!" Spike replied. Prime's puzzlement, only fanned by this response, turned its attention back to the small object in his hands. The one side seemed impossible to get into. He thought about tearing it, but that would only damage the contents inside. He turned it over and the back appeared to have creases.

"Ah…" Spike smirked with excitement at seeing this perplexed forty foot being discovering human customs. Optimus thumbed the creases of the envelope, but it was too small for his large fingers to have an effect. He made several more attempts before handing it back to the young human. "Er, I think you will have to open this for me Spike." The teenager laughed and opened the envelope, passing it back to the Autobot leader. There was something inside. He took it out and looked at the tiny writing. "Kathay Richards Designs. One hundred percent recycled paper." Spike burst out laughing.

"Other side Optimus – other side!" Prime did as he was told. There was a drawing of an evergreen tree – much like the ones surrounding the base – decorated in yellow and red daubs of shiny balls and what appeared to be lights. Humans clothed for cold weather encircled the tree, holding hands while stars shone in a black sky above. One shone brighter than all the rest.

"What's this?"

"Open it up and read the message." Optimus shrugged and again did as he was told. Inside it read in a mixture of scrawling handwriting and printed letters:

To Optimus Prime,

Wishing You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Love from,

Spike and Sparkplug.

Prime read the message through not once but twice, studied it long and hard and then turned back to Spike.

"'Merry Christmas'?"

"Yeah Prime – Christmas! It's a traditional western Earth holiday. It happens at this time of the year, every year." Prime thought back to the year before; they had only been active on the planet for a couple of months. When the Decepticons had been 'defeated', it had been Autumn. The Autobots had spent the rest of the Earth year busy preparing a ship to take them back to Cybertron, along with arranging for the energy transportation and collection from the Earth's governments to revitalise their own world. Come to think of it, the politicians had spoken about a 'season of goodwill' and 'a time of generosity' – could the energy have been a festive gift and he had not realised it? They had made no time for joining in with Earth's customs in all of the excitement of finally ending the war and rebuilding.

"It happens every year?"

"Yeah – singing and dancing and gift-giving, good food and drink, parties and all sorts. It's the main festival of the human year. You're gonna love it, Optimus!" At least three of the human's words caused his spark to shudder: he thought of Ratchet and parties. He thought of the twins and 'gift-giving'. He thought about it happening every year. If it was really that successful, it could possibly go on forever. Optimus had to be quick and tactful – it was time for damage control.

"Spike, did you give cards to anyone else?"

"Well, yeah. Carly, Chip and myself, we gave cards to all of the Autobots." Optimus flinched inside. "We couldn't find you earlier, so you were the last to receive your card. Sorry Prime." Before Optimus could formulate a response, Inferno entered the room.

"Hey Spike! I liked ya card," the fire engine smiled. "One thin' though – what's a Yule log?" Perceptor followed in close behind.

"It was rather thoughtful to include us in your ceremonies, Spike, but tell me, who is this large chap dressed in red and white?"

"What-" Mirage appeared from behind them and startled them all. "-is mistletoe?"

Optimus took a step back and watched as his Autobots swamped the human with questions about this festival. Too late to stop it now, Prime thought to himself. We'll just have to wait and see what happens and take it from there. And so it was, with the simple gesture of cards, that the Autobots found Christmas.

End.