"Make Me Believe" and the overall concept of "Make Me Believe" is copyright Orin Drake 2006. All characters and places contained within are property of Square-Enix and Disney, as they own Kingdom Hearts. And partially they own everyone who is owned by Kingdom Hearts.

Background: Because apparently I can't let Riku heal without first going through even more mental damage. Heh. And because I got such a good response from certain people on By Weeks of Labor, Darkness is Daylight, here's the sequel. (Written well before KHII came out. Hence Leon still living in Traverse Town, at the inn. I won't pretend to know better if you won't. Ssshh.) Takes place... um... well after KHII and Ab Origine. Almost always, I'm listening to music when I write. This was was born of stark silence--though I'm pretty sure the KH2 soundtrack was playing in my head. Guess I've... heard it a few times.

Make Me Believe
by Orin Drake

I had him back. I had him back in my arms... and I was not eager to let go. Ever. Not ever.

"Sora..." I think I managed to whisper. Couldn't be real... too much had happened, I'd done too much to everyone, too much to ever... ever make anything right again...

--Ooh. A kiss. Sora's kiss. Soft and delicate and... of course it had to be. He was probably too weak from what little food I'd gotten him to eat over those weeks to do anything more.

"I tried..." I wanted to tell him. Wanted him to know I'd been there, I hadn't given up. Not on anyone. I never wanted to give up on anyone, but some things... these things don't always work out... I'd done such wrong. I'd done so much wrong to everything I'd come across, to everyone I'd ever known... to him...

I felt hot tears, unable to stop them. I just... I couldn't... "I'm sorry." It must have sounded awful... horrible. "I'm sorry." I tried again, but it sounded just as pathetic. After all that had happened, everything the worlds had become... how was I expected to ever express the pain... "Sora, I'm so sorr--"

A light, trembling finger against my lips. I was amazed he had the strength for even that, let alone more words. They were quiet, harsh with lack of use, but... they echoed in the darkness. "Riku. Ssshh."

I will hurt you again. The fearful words came to my mind as more tears spilled, uncontrollable. I will cause you pain because I don't know how to do anything else. I can't learn how to be kind to you. I'll never be able to give you what you want, what you need... I'm not fit to be in your vision, let alone at your side...

"Sshhh." Sora soothed again, drawing a delicate knuckle beneath my left eye.

I was embarrassed about my own emotions, nearly wincing away from his touch. Somehow I held my ground, though, empowered by the bright eyes looking right into my soul. Maybe I still had one... maybe anything was still possible... "How do you do that?" I managed to whisper.

His expression turned weighted, concerned. "Do what?"

"Make me believe." I barely uttered, throat still constricted from the tears. "I-I... don't understand how you... make me believe in... anything. Everything." Myself.

His eyes were glistening, I could see, gazing back thoughtfully. Even though he looked incredibly tired, he was still so... full of life. "Never leave again." He suggested with something akin to laughter.

Afraid. Afraid afraid afraid. I could crush this spirit with pain. Cynicism. I could burn him to ashes without so much as knowing I'd done so. Smother while trying to protect. "I won't." I found myself replying. "If you won't."

He smiled. Oh, gods how he smiled. "Lay here with me, Riku..." he requested brightly, ignoring the weakness in his arm as he tried patting the empty space beside him. "Let's just... sleep for a while."

"I don't want to sleep..." I whispered, a strange sort of half-smile on my face... but I was absolutely certain it wasn't reflected in my eyes. "When I wake up, you'll be gone."

Sadness and horror slowly settled over Sora's features, and it hurt. He knew only slivers of what I'd been through... but the truth of it was hitting him. He looked at me as if he really could make out the fractured soul behind my consciously masked gaze. It ached. It was... I was... breaking his hard-won heart. "R-Riku..." His voice trembled. "I'm... I'm not going anywhere, Riku. I promise."

I think I managed to keep my plastic smile, shaking my head. I didn't want him to feel that, to hurt because of me. "I want to believe..." I admitted, softly. "B-but I... I just..."

He reached up, carefully tugging our bodies closer. "I understand." Whispered words, containing things so much louder... He held me tightly despite muscles weak with disuse. "I'll prove it to you, Riku." He very nearly cradled me--and I couldn't stop my shoulders from trembling. "I love you. I won't leave you. You'll see."

Everything--everything--stopped. I was completely overwhelmed by shock, for a moment--to have heard those words was... it was the impossible made real. Every fractured dream... What he'd said, it was... so certain, so natural without pause or thought or... "I love you too, Sora..." I was afraid that my voice was too quiet, too rough for him to have heard, but when his hold tightened and I heard from his lips something between a sigh, a sob and a laugh... it was right. It was real. I just... I couldn't believe I was that lucky. I definitely knew I wasn't that deserving.

He was still there when I woke up. The very idea I'd fallen asleep was terrifying--but finding him there, solid and warm and right up against me... I was... overwhelmed all over again. It took everything in me to stop clutching, to keep myself from making promises that I knew would damn us both. It was enough to see him breathing--and it filled my world to see him open his eyes.

It took a few days before he could really manage to keep anything solid in his stomach. I quickly discovered the lengths of Leon's patience as he kept trying to find a food that might agree with Sora.

Leon... he was the only one one besides myself that knew the Keyblade Master had awoken for several days. He thought it a good idea if Sora regained his strength before everyone came to gawk and hug and chatter, and I agreed. I'm not sure how I managed the self control not to shout--to dance and sing--"I told you so! I told you there was hope!"

Maybe it was his eyes. Leon always had storm-gray eyes, alive but haunted. When he was around the newly woken Sora, though... Leon's eyes were a little more blue. Wider. Kinder. He cooked for both of us without a word said--but I always gave my thanks, even when I couldn't eat much. After a while, Sora was even able to help with the chores. And, of course, he gained his famous appetite back.

It was only a few days later when I'd been sitting on the inn roof, staring at the stars. It was winter, and it was cold... but I still hadn't tired of feeling things. Staring up at the distant worlds, watching my breath... they were simple things. But good things.

I was interrupted by the sound of someone climbing the trellis; looking over, I saw familiar brown spikes coming up over the roof. Before I had so much as a chance to greet him, those sapphire eyes stopped me dead with their seriousness. "Riku! You shouldn't be out here in the cold."

I was glad to see the corners of his lips twitch as I sat up, welcoming him to my side by patting the shingles below me. "Neither should you."

He walked over and sat down with a light smile, pulling the heavy winter coat he wore even tighter around him. "Just for a few minutes. I wanted to see where you were."

"Here." Came automatically. It was a stupid answer... but it held a little more, somehow. It held all of the possibilities of Here, at your side, I never left... without the ache. I was so... tired of the ache.

And so we sat, looking out over the light snow that had dusted Traverse Town, tilting our heads up toward the stars. Sora had saved those stars. I helped, I guess, but... no. It had been Sora. It had been the strength of his conviction and the power of his heart. I'd... done little. I still had to atone.

Sitting next to him like that, even in the chill, reminded me a lot of the island... before everything happened. Just sitting there, with no vast ocean of pain and tension between us; just boys, sneaking out at night to stare at the stars. Later, sometimes Kairi could be convinced to come along... but not too often. Mostly it was... just us. Together. Best friends.

"I was alone for so long..." I whispered without really meaning to.

I winced when he turned to me, unable to meet his eyes as I could feel his compassionate, searching gaze. So selfish... I was so fucked up. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't.

"I know." He whispered back, kindly casting his eyes toward the stars again. "I... I wish I'd known."

"No." I corrected, eyes on the alley below us. "It would have distracted you. I didn't even know. Not until..." Not until it was too late, I had been ready to say. But I really didn't want to finish that sentence. I sighed and shook my head. "Sorry, Sora. I know I shouldn't be so..."

I felt his hand move over mine; not grasping, but not pulling away, either. Comfort without being condescending. He knew I'd pulled away from the others... and knew that just being there was important to me.

I guess maybe I was destined to ruin all comfortable silences. "I want to... make it up to you. Before you take..."

Sora looked at me, then. Really looked. And I felt I had no choice but to meet his eyes that time; bright blue eyes that were worried and scared and... things I didn't want him to feel. His question was soft. Slow. "Before I take, what?"

I shivered. But I didn't think it was from the cold. I could tell he wasn't going to let it drop. Wouldn't let me laugh it off and tell him to forget it, that I hadn't meant anything. "Before you take it back." I finished, feeling utterly miserable for having opened my mouth to begin with.

I could feel the confusion in his gaze as I turned away--and then his hand clenched a bit when he realized what I'd meant. Take it back. The confession he'd made when he woke up... that he loved me. That impossible sentiment... "Riku! Those weren't just words..." He took a deep, shuddering breath, running a hand lightly through his hair. Speaking again, his voice was softer. Normal, and reassuring. "Please, Riku. Please believe me."

"It's not you I don't believe, Sora." I admitted, finding my voice quiet but steady. "I believe you. I believe anything and everything about you. But the rest... the universe... the Light and the Darkness... I don't trust them."

Sora bit his lip, closed his eyes and looked as though he were trying to steady himself. I'm sure he was convinced that I had been through so much more than he ever had... I could tell, I could see the guilt and anger and a tearing sorrow--he hadn't been there. It was as if I could see the thoughts running through his eyes... or maybe I could just relate. He was so certain that he should have been there, rather than pushing me away... accusing, blaming... And later, when there had been more chances... still, he'd... we'd...

I saw the pain and conflict in his eyes, pulling my hand away only to rest it on his shoulder, to steady us both. Those greatly missed blue eyes turned to me and I almost didn't have the strength to voice the question. "Did I... hurt you...? I didn't mean to say anything..."

"No." Sora whispered, his voice breaking a little on the word. "I just... There are a lot of things I should have done."

I wished I could have laughed. I did my best, even if it was a short, hollow sound. "Me, too."

"No, Riku." He shook his head, tone gentle but insistent. "Stop blaming yourself."

He'd leaned into me, forcing my arm to drape over his shoulder--not that I minded. It was... awkward and it was foreign... but it was too good to resist. I drew him closer, sharing our body heat between layers. "Only if you do."

"That's hard." He admitted, lips pulling upward willingly.

I did laugh, that time. "I know." I'd do anything for that smile... I realized, feeling a surprisingly real smile overcoming me as well. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." He admitted, his arm sliding around my waist. "Let's never miss each other again, okay?"

Seemed logical enough, I had to admit. "Sure."

A long, pleasant silence washed over us. I was content with just sitting next to him, just being alive in his presence. "We can do this."

"It'll take time." Sora agreed with a nod and a bright smile. "But we have plenty of that now."

But... the question had to be asked... "And if we have to fight again?"

"Then we fight." He nodded, once, strong and reassuring. "But we do it together."

Suddenly, I knew I felt my heart again... and it felt light.

"And hey, Riku? I've been meaning to tell you for a while now..."

"Yes, Sora?"

"There is too a Santa Claus."

I was absolutely overcome; surprised, amused, knocked completely off-guard. I barked out surprised laughter, yanking him into my arms and rubbing my knuckles into his scalp. We were just boys again--laughing until we cried. Laughing until the tears came freely... and it was okay. There, together, in even the darkest night... it was okay. There would be a tomorrow.

I'm such a fucking sap sometimes. grin But the boys deserve some happiness, so... yeah. Happy winter holidays, all. Let's all make use of American commercialism and buy ourselves cool shit! ...I mean, buy others cool shit. yeah, sure. That's what I meant.

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