Chapter One
I woke up so suddenly I couldn't tell if it was night or morning. I looked to the window and there was no sign of sunlight. I scrambled out of my bed and ran to the bathroom. I bent over the toilet feeling miserable.
Food poisoning must have caused this.Ew, what had I eaten to make me so sick. I did have chinese last night. Maybe that was it.
After what seemed like hours I gained my composure and looked at my watch, 5:07. Wow I couldn't remember the last time I was up that early. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I climbed back into my bed, after all I didn't have to be at work until eleven o'clock. I could at least get a few more hours of sleep. At least that is what I thought.
I woke up three more times before I completely gave up on getting more sleep. Each time I had to sprint to the bathroom hoping I would make it there in time.
After brushing my teeth for the fourth time I made myself some toast and hot tea. Praying it would stay down and settle my stomach. Amelia had introduced me to hot tea she always said if I felt ill I should drink it with a drop or two of honey. Thinking about Amelia made me reminiscent of the time she had lived with me. Which made me reminiscent of Eric. All roads lead to Rome and all Sookie Stackhouse thoughts lead to Eric Northman. I hated that I found myself thinking about him so often. I was so in love with him, I had only hoped he loved me as much. It didn't turn out the way I had planned. He chose to marry the vampire Queen Freyda and wanted me to just be his whore. Whore is a bit strong but what else do you call the woman a married man cheats with? I shook myself trying to snap out of it. I have my health, friends, family (what is left of it that is). I would be happy. I wouldn't let my thoughts of Eric drag me down.
Around ten o'clock I was still feeling nauseous so I called Sam. I couldn't remember if I had ever called out with such short notice before or if I had ever called out for being sick. I don't think I ever had. Come to think of it I couldn't remember the last time I was sick. I have had more near death experiences than colds in the past few years. At least with my near death experiences I always had Bill or Eric to donate some of their blood to heal me quickly. There I go again, Eric Eric Eric.
While I was on the phone with Sam he offered to bring me soup and check on me but I was in no condition for visitors. And I also wasn't sure how I felt about seeing him right now. Things were complicated between us. Ever since I had saved his life with a fairy token our friendship had taken an unexpected turn. I cringed when I thought back to a month ago when Sam and I had sex. At the time I thought it was great, but now I am thinking that was just an aftereffect from the fairy token. So much had happened in the past few months I needed to alone for a while I needed to figure out how I really felt. I needed to mourn the death of the relationship Eric and I had shared. I surely wasn't ready to dive into a relationship with Sam, my boss and best friend. What would happen if we dated and things ended sourly? Would I lose my best friend? I needed a friend more than anything now. Surely we could get over the awkwardness of having gone to bed together. It only happened once after all.
After the phone call with Sam I got back into bed. I woke up around 3pm feeling much better. I thought about going to the doctors but than decided since I still didn't have health insurance that would be such a waste. And than a thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Was the throwing up morning sickness? It couldn't be, no way, Sam and I had used protection. I guess anything is possible though. I started to feel so anxious and worried and I knew it would be best to just buy a pregnancy test so I could stop worrying. It would put my mind to ease I told myself.
I drove to Monroe because if I bought a pregnancy test in Bon Temps I would surely run into someone I knew. I didn't want anyone knowing I was worried I might be pregnant. Driving to Shreveport would have put me in a bad mood so to Monroe I went.
When I arrived home it was dark and I saw a glimpse of Karin in my woods. Karin was there because of Eric's negotiations. She would be there for a year and I planned on pretending she didn't exist.
I went straight to my bathroom to take the test. In the two minutes it takes to learn the results I made my bed,I wanted to stay busy. I walked back into the bathroom and looked down at the test, it read positive. I took another test, positive again. I burst into tears. I didn't know why I was crying maybe it was the hormones.
Chapter Two
I slumped into the chair in the corner of my room, with my head buried in my hands. I couldn't believe I was pregnant. I started to feel guilty that I wasn't excited. Hadn't I always wanted children? I loved kids after all. Maybe it was because I didn't have husband or even a boyfriend. I knew Sam would be a good dad, but now he would feel obligated to marry me.
For the next hour I played out different scenarios in my head of how this would turn out. I couldn't say I liked any of them. I would be a good mother and love my child more than life itself. But I realized in the past few years I had been thinking I wanted to be a mother so badly, but now that I had the opportunity I realized I loved being Aunt Sookie, and I love children, but I think I had wanted to be a mother because I thought that is what normal women do. They get married and have babies, and more than anything I wanted to be normal. But I wasn't normal, I was different. It is hard to think about yourself positively when you are constantly are reminded that everyone around you thinks your crazy. None the less, I wanted to view myself as special instead of as was something I was working on. After all my telepathy had done me a few favors over the years. Or maybe I had wanted children so badly because I was dating vampires and they couldn't give me children. As the saying goes you always want what you can't have. I felt so guilty. I wasn't ready to be a mother and I was doubting if I even wanted to be.
Suddenly I had a revelation. I loved Sam, but I wasn't in love with Sam. I wanted him in my life always, but not in a romantic way. What did I get myself into? Now I was pregnant with his half shifter-part fae baby? Which made me think about how hard it would be for a kid to grow up with their mother as a telepath. They wouldn't be able to get away with anything. What if they are born telepathic too? I didn't want that for any child. Now that I am older I can use my telepathy for good, but there is no way being a child telepathic would be easy.
When would I have to tell Sam? I wasn't looking forward to that. What will happen to my figure?Guilt hit me again. I wasn't feeling like a good Christian at the moment. Thinking of things so shallow like my figure. I would love my baby even if they weren't planned, even if I wasn't so sure I wanted to be a mother, and even though I was technically single.
Just as I was consumed with thoughts of becoming a parent the phone rang.
"Hey Sookie, just calling to see how your feeling?" It was Sam. I guess I should tell him now. I wanted to talk to someone about this and after all he was my best friend.
"Sam, ah, hello."
"What's the matter Sook?"
"Do you think you could come over"
"Sure, I'll be right over, chere." There was something hesitant in Sam's voice, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to come over.
Sam was at my house within fifteen minutes. As I watched him climb out of his truck I tried to look at him with different eyes. I tried to feel something hoping I would feel a rush of happiness or relief but I felt nothing. I realized this is who the father of my child was and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.
"Come on in Sam, can I get you something to drink?"
"Oh no, Sookie you are the one whose been under the weather, can I get you something?"
"No, but Sam ..we need to talk." It was very difficult for me to get those words out. I tried to relax my face because I felt it stiffen.
A concerned look came over his face and I know I shouldn't have but I peaked into his thoughts. I bet she doesn't want to work at the bar anymore. She probably is regretting getting with me. She has been acting so distant ever since that night. It's already been a month why hasn't she gotten back to normal yet. Maybe she is back with Bill.
"Sam Merlotte I am not quitting and I am not back with Bill!" I could tell my voice was filled with attitude but I didn't like what Sam was assuming.
"Oh okay so what's going on than?" He said sounding slightly relieved.
"Well.." I looked up at the ceiling, I looked at the walls, I looked anywhere but Sam's face. "I don't know how it happened but .."
"What happened? What are you acting so strange?"
"Sam I'm pregnant." I paused for a moment trying to gauge his reaction." I took two different tests tonight both confirming it." Sam wasn't saying anything, his face was expressionless but his thoughts were loud and clear. I don't want to go through this again. It was bad enough with Jannalynn. She was so excited to have a kid and than what happened."
"Jannalynn was pregnant with your child?"
"Yes." He looked down, he couldn't face looking at me. "She lost the baby about six weeks along, you know its hard for shifters and weres to have kids. There always seems to be a lot of complications, high mortality rate."
"Sam, I'm sorry." I wondered how I never picked up on that from his thoughts. Was I just not listening to him or had he found a way to block me out from that part of his brain. I put that away to mull over at another time.
"How are you feeling about this Sookie? You know I will provide for you and our baby. We could get married before the baby comes. I have always wanted a daughter.. I hope we have a girl."
This conversation was making me feel dizzy. There was too much happening too fast. Just yesterday my biggest problem was trying to get over the fact I would never see Eric again. Now I had to prepare to take care of a baby. I tried to summon up the right words I looked at my feet as I began to respond to Sam. "I know, Sam. But I don't want to get married just because you knocked me up. I don't know how I feel right about all of this. We have been friends a long time and I care about you deeply. But I'm not going to marry you because I'm pregnant. I'm not even sure we would have continued dating. I'm not sure of very much right now. I definitely didn't think I was going to end up pregnant from sleeping with you one time. I just need some time to process everything.."
"You are going to keep the baby right.. not have an abor-"
"You better stop the sentence before you finish it. No I will not. I will take care of my baby." Sam could tell by the tone of my voice that he had said something that I found insulting.
"Of course Sook, of course.. " Sam paused and looked as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how. I'm not sure if this baby will even come to term. I don't want to get all excited like I did with Jannalynn for her to miscarry.
I didn't say anything. That was a thought too dark for me to let cross my mind. Yes, I was doubting if I was ready to be a mother but there was no way I wanted anything bad to happen to my baby. Now that I was pregnant I intended on keeping this child and filling their heart with love.
"Sam, I'm not planning on telling anyone until I am three months along.. thats usually a safe time to let people know."
"I won't say anything either." There was an awkward silence. I never felt so distant from Sam but for some reason I didn't want him to touch me. I couldn't describe what I was feeling.
"Well, I need to be getting some sleep Sam. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm not coming in until five so I should be alright to work."
Sam got up I think he could sense I wanted to be alone for a while. I stood up and we walked onto the front porch. He gave me a hug good-bye. At first his arms around me felt comforting, a feeling of safeness and warmth. But quickly that changed and I felt smothered. I pulled away. Sam lend in to kiss me. I kissed back softly for a moment and than pulled away.
"Well goodnight Sam.."
"Goodnight my baby momma." He chuckled at his comment. I have to admit it brought a smile to my face too. He bent down and kissed me on my forehead. "Goodnight Sookie. We have a lot to talk about but it has been a long day for you. I'm going to let you get your rest now call me if you need anything." I nodded agreeing and than watched Sam climb into his truck and drive away.
As I turned to go back inside the house. I saw something in the woods. A chill ran down my spine as I realized it wasn't a woman so it couldn't have been Karin. I squinted my eyes and looked very carefully. This vampire had red hair, so it wasn't Bill. I thought about calling Bill and asking him to check it out. I decided not to, Karin was supposed to watch over my house and she could do her job. I also didn't want to speak to Bill. It would just be a reminder that I would never see Eric again.
I felt like a bad woman thinking about Eric with another man's child in my womb. This certainly wasn't good Christian behavior. I thought about how hard it would be for me once I started to show. I wouldn't be able to guard myself from everyone's thoughts of me. I could imagine there would be quite a bit of judgment in Bon Temps. I listened to people's thoughts for years. I knew the ugly things they would think about me. A low-class unwed barmaid who was impregnated by her boss.
I shook myself from those feelings and rubbed my belly and talked to my baby. " I am going to love you so much. You will have all my attention and I will make sure you are the happiest baby in the world." I started to think of how fun it would be to have playdates with Tara and JB's twins. How fun a baby shower would be. How nice it would be for Jason and Michelle's future children to have a cousin. I even began thinking of baby names. I giggled at the thought of naming the baby Niall if it were a boy, after my great-grandfather who was a fairy. I thought about the cute baby clothes, and different colors I could paint the spare bedroom to turn it into a nursery. Maybe a nice light would be okay I told myself. Everything will be great.
CHAPTER 3
It had been almost a week since I told Sam the news of my pregnancy. Since than I avoided him like the plague. I guess it was my way of dealing with things. If the situation was different maybe I would act differently. I glanced at the clock on the wall 4:55. Holly would be there any minute to relive me from my shift. I would have to time everything perfectly so I could leave Merlotte's without getting stopped by Sam to "discuss" things. It had been a long hard day on my feet. Bringing customers their food without letting the scent of the food make me ill was a challenge in itself. The morning sickness was getting a little better thanks to some stomach soothing pills I picked up at the pharmacy.
Despite my initial reaction to the pregnancy I was excited. In a matter of days I became overjoyed at the thought of finally being a mother. I actually desperately wanted to share my news with Tara and Jason but I was going to wait until the three month mark. Oddly enough,I thought of myself strictly as a future single mother. I knew that wasn't fair to Sam. I knew he wanted to get married to me and have a few children, a normal life. I could tell that is what he wanted from his thoughts. But it just didn't feel right, I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was but something was off. I started to think about Holly, she was a single mother and she was doing a hell of job. Holly and Danielle are great single mothers, and if they could do it I could too. I got too caught up in my thoughts to realize that someone was behind me, I turned around and was face to face with Sam.
"Sookie, you have got to stop avoiding me." He said, in a hushed tone.
"I'm not avoiding you, I'm just, uh, busy, you know.." He knew I was lying. He knew I was avoiding him.
"Would you come over to my trailer when Holly gets here? We need to talk." His tone of voice told me he was serious and although he was asking it sounded more like commanding.
"Oh, I don't think that is a good idea.. what will people think if they see me going into your trailer."
"Well they are going to think a lot of other things when the baby comes out." He said, sharply.
"Okay fine Sam. I'll see you after work give me a few minutes to gather my things." Sam nodded and walked out the back door of Merlotte's to go to his trailer.
I wasn't sure why I was giving Sam such a hard time. I wasn't sure about a lot of things lately. I guess I can just blame the hormones.
Holly darted in the door about ten minutes late, which was very unusual for her. "Sorry! Sorry I am late! Car troubles." I smiled at Holly and let her know it was perfectly fine. After all she just did allow me to postpone a chat with Sam for ten minutes.
I went to the bathroom, said goodbye to everyone working. Slowly went through my locker and grabbed my purse. I knew I couldn't stall any longer so I went out the back door and walked over to Sam's trailer. I knocked on the door and I heard him say " Come in, it's open." I walked over to the couch against the wall and sat down. Sam pulled up a chair and sat in front of me. I decided I would try to block out listening to Sam. I'd let him say whatever he needed to say without eavesdropping on his personal thoughts.
"Sookie, I think it is important we are honest with each other." He said it in a tone that was so gentle it made me think he was going to say something I didn't want to hear.
"Is there something you haven't been honest about Sam?" A puzzled looked was plastered on my face. I didn't know where this was going. I changed my mind I was going to eavesdrop.
How can I tell her she is acting like a brat.
" You think I am a brat? Have you heard of a thing called hormones Sam?!" I was fuming. What right did he have to call me a brat. Well, he thought I was a brat, he didn't actually call me the name out loud. I stood up ready to storm out of his trailer when he stood in front of me and gently put his hands on my shoulders.
"Sook, this is what I mean, will you please just sit down and let me say my piece, chere." He sounded annoyed yet calm.
"Fine Sam." I sat down with my arms crossed and my eyebrows up.
"Oh c'mon now, this is what I don't understand Sookie. How come every time things get a little messy or uncomfortable for you, you just storm off? If things aren't going just how you want them to you don't handle it well."
"Oh please!" Sam raised one eyebrow as if he was a question. I looked down at myself, my crossed arms and my attitude.. was I acting like a brat? I uncrossed my arms and sat up straight. Was what Sam saying true. I started to realize he might have a point. With Bill, Quinn, and..Eric I did have a tendency to cut things short when I was feeling..crap I was a brat. When I didn't get my way I acted in an ugly way. I felt embarrassed. I looked down at my black nikes. I didn't want to argue with Sam. I wanted to go home and crawl in my bed.
Sam interrupted my train of thought "Now this baby is mine too, I want to be by your side through the whole process. The doctors appointments, picking out stuff for the nursery, everything. I could help you paint the spare room in your house. I could even move in if you wanted me to. I figured you wouldn't want to move into my trailer when your house is sizable enough to raise a family in."
"This is just so much at once,Sam. I appreciate your offer. I am glad to have you, I am. But I need time to process. I will make sure you are involved in things, okay?"
"Good then. Just think about what I said some about you tending to leave when things don't go your way."
"Yeah, yeah okay Sam. I am going to go home now." I stood up to leave and gave Sam a hug goodbye. "Sookie, how about we go on a date Sunday night?" Sam asked. "Well.. " I thought for a moment "You know what that sounds nice.." I put a wide smile on my face and said "But be warned I'm eating for two." I winked at Sam and he chuckled. I walked out of Sam's trailer feeling better than I had when I entered. I walked to my car and drove home.
CHAPTER 4
By the time I got home from work it was dark outside. I saw Karin in the woods and waved. I regretting waving as soon as I lifted my hand. I was suppose to be pretending she wasn't there.
I unlocked my back porch and went straight to my bedroom to change into some comfy sweat pants and a t-shirt. I went to the kitchen and got out some ice cream from the freezer. I figured I deserved some ice cream after working so hard on my feet all day. I set the ice cream on the counter and walked over to the cabinet to get a bowl out. As I was stepping towards the cabinet I fell down, doubled over in pain. Oh no my baby. The panic set in. I was in so much pain I couldn't stand up. I screamed and screamed but no one was around to hear me. I pushed my body towards the wall where the phone hung. Luckily, I had left a broom out and it was leaning against the same wall the phone was. I grabbed the broom and pushed the phone with it until the phone fell to the floor. I was lucky it was dark outside. I knew what I had to do. I had to call Bill. It was only rational, he would be able to get here in a matter of seconds. He would be strong enough to carry me to the car and take me to the hospital. If I called 9-11 it would take too long for an ambulance. Not to mention I didn't have the money to pay for it.
"Good evening Sookie." A cool familiar voice answered the phone. I had never been more relieved to here Bill's voice.
"Bill. Please. Help me. I'm in the kitchen. Hurry." I knew I sounded desperate.
Before I realized he had hung up the phone he was in my kitchen.
"Sookie whats the matter?!" He bit into his wrists and blood slowly trickled out. "Drink Sookie drink!"
I shook my head " No, no I can't. Take me to the hospital. Please." I had no idea how vampire blood would effect a baby, and I wasn't willing to find out.
I woke up in a hospital bed. Hospitals were becoming too familiar time I wasn't there because someone was trying to kill me though. This time I was more scared then any other trip to the hospital I had ever taken. I looked down and touched my stomach. I burst into tears. I knew I no longer had a baby inside me. I felt an unpleasant void. I felt terrible. Guilty. Sad. So many emotions. I was sobbing uncontrollably when a tissue suddenly appeared in my hand. I looked up to see who handed me the tissue and was surprised to see Mr. Cataliades.
It probably took me 20 minutes before I was breathing normally. I looked at Mr. Cataliades and asked what happened. I also wonder how he got there and if Sam knew, and where did Bill go, but I didn't ask all those things.
"Well, Sookie, it is complicated." He looked around to make sure no one else was close by. He got up and shut the hospital room door. "Sookie, there are some things about the cluviel dor's magic I didn't tell you, because I wasn't aware of it until recently. There have been some people researching other uses of cluviel dors in history. As it turns out there was as very similar case to your use of the cluviel dor."
"What was the similar case? What does this have to do with the loss of my baby?" I was still sobbing, at least this sob was softer and not so hysterical.
"Well my dear, when you said the words 'Live, Sam' the cluviel dor transferred the magic into Sam to preserve his life. Since you were the one to preserve his life, the cluviel dor's magic preserved your life as well. You won't age past the day you used it. Which leads me to the bad news." He placed his hand over mine in an attempt to comfort me. "Since your life is preserved you won't be able to create life. Neither will Sam. Neither of you will be able to have children. You may get pregnant and he may impregnate. But no baby will be born." Mr. Cataliades had a grim look on his face. I could tell he wasn't enjoying be the messenger of bad news tonight.
"I'm not going to age? I am going to live forever? I'll never be a mom?" There were so many questions I wanted to ask but I didn't know what to ask first.
"Well, my dear. You won't age. If you are hurt you won't heal quicker like vampires. And you are still as humanly as you were before. So injuries and attacks could end your days. Other than that you will be preserved as you were the day you used the cluviel dor." The way he said that made me sound like I was a bottle of wine. This was a lot to process in one day.
"Sookie, I didn't just come to tell you about your new lifespan." He looked at me to make sure I realized whatever he was about to tell me was important. "Sophie-Anne is still alive."
"What?!" That was just as shocking as hearing I would live forever. What would that mean for the new vampire regime.. and what would that mean for Eric.
"Yes, you see, when Wybert was killed and the fight broke out between the Sophie-Anne and Peter, the King of Arkansas. She decided she would use her gift to build an army of vampires loyal to her. She knew how powerful that would make her. She was devastated by the lost of Wybert, she felt it would take many warriors to replace him. So she sent out a trusted vampire to find the best warriors across the world that would want to pledge their alliance to the Queen, and in return they would be able to live forever."
"How could she build such an army without anyone noticing?" The total vampire population wasn't very large. If Sophie-Anne had been creating a lot of vampires someone would have noticed.
"Well before Katrina she was easily able to turn the warriors at night in the privacy of her home. By the time she went to he summit her army was about 53 strong. When Andre didn't survive the Queen felt a greater urgency to create a larger army. She had all 53 members turn another warrior who was willing to pledge their alliance. All of her children and their children gave her a drop of their blood and her legs were able to grow back in a record time."
"Why wasn't she ruling Louisiana? Why did she hand it over to her sheriffs?"
" Well Sookie, she has you to thank for that. When you were at the Summit you pointed out a certain weather man witch who caused Katrina. After some coaxing the Queen discover the weather witch was hired by the King of Nevada to harm Louisiana. It was just one part of his plan to take over Louisiana and Arkansas. That tipped her off to Nevada's intentions. She sent one of her grandchildren, Creed, to Nevada to spy. It went very smoothy he was well liked and even trusted by the King of Nevada. While Creed was there he learned of there was a traitor amongst the Louisiana vampires. Creed also learned that your house had been bugged and there was a vampire from Oklahoma that follows you everywhere .."
I cut Mr. Cataliades off. " Why on earth would they bug my house?"
"Well, I suppose it is because of your relationship to Eric. They figured since he trusted you if any rebellion was to take place you would know of it. Fredya also wanted to make sure Eric was going to be loyal to her. You see, when Sigebert came to see Eric, Eric believed that meant Sophie-Anne was still alive. He started searching for her. He found her hiding out with her vampire army just inside of Texas. He repledged his alliance to her and they began formulating a plan to take back over Louisiana. Since Eric was being forced to marry Fredya.."
"He wasn't being forced ,he could have said no." I mumbled bitterly.
"If he had said no, it would have cost him his life. With Eric out of the way you would have been used by Nevada the same was a calculator is used by humans. Taken out when you are needed and then stored away in a draw until you are needed again." I hadn't thought about it like that before. I had always thought if Eric loved me enough he would just say no to Fredya. Maybe he really didn't have a choice. Maybe I would give that some thought at another time.
"So what is this plan they formulated?"
"Well there is a party planned in Oklahoma to celebrate their alliance with Nevada. At this celebration Felipe de Castro will be in attendance. The plan is for Eric to seduce Fredya during the party. When they are in bed together he will kill her. Half of Queen Sophie-Anne's army is planned to then wiped out all of the Oklahoma vampires and which ever Nevada vampires are in attendance. With the exception of Felipe, the Queen has something else in mind for him." I flinched when he said that. I knew what he meant was Sophie-Anne was going to torture him in ruthless ways. "At the same the other half of Sophie-Anne's army will invade Nevada taking out all their vampires. Sophie-Anne will turn over the state of Nevada to Stan in return for allowing her to hide in Texas, his support, $200 million dollars, and 7% of all his profits from Nevada for the next 300 years."
"When is this celebration?" I asked, wondering if this meant I would see Eric again.
"Tomorrow night." He responded quickly. "Now you must speak of this to no one. Especially in your home since it is bugged. And remember that their is a vampire from Oklahoma still following you."
"I won't say a word. Who was it who bugged my house though? Whose this traitor?"
"I am afraid to say that the traitor is Bill Compton. At the summit he was persuaded by Felipe de Castro to join Nevada's side. I suppose his survival skills set in and he did not want to die if Felipe succeeded in taking over Louisiana. He was the one who bugged your home."
I was shocked. Why would Bill do such a thing to me? Then I got mad at myself for being surprised. This wasn't the first or even second time Bill had betrayed me.
"Sookie, I must go now. Please be careful. I am sorry for your loss." He patted my hand and walk toward the door. Just before he left he turned around and said,"Sookie, you have the essential spark, don't waste it." He winked and walked out of the room
Mr. Cataliades left me with a lot to think about. Before I could wrap my head around all the vampire politics I had to do something else.
I called Sam. He came to the hospital as quickly as he could. When he walked in the room his eyes were red and glossy. I could tell he was holding back the tears with all his strength. He ran his fingers through his strawberry blonde hair and walked over me to hold my hand. "Oh, Sook, oh.. I am so sorry. It's always hard for shifters to have babies. I'm sorry you went through this." I could read his thoughts, he didn't know what to say he had said it all to Jannalynn before.
I surprised myself when I said "Well, what is meant to be will be. This is just part of God's plan." I paused and told Sam he should sit down. I told him what the cluviel dor had done. And how we both would live forever. I told him that I couldn't be with him, I needed him as a friend. I couldn't live hundreds of years with a guy who I wasn't in love with. We talked for a few hours pausing only when the nurse came in to check on me. By the time Sam left I realized something about myself. I was wasting the gift I had. I was always walking around feeling sorry for myself when others had it much worse. I wouldn't waste my gift for one more day. I would do something special with my life. Maybe I would go to school and become a lawyer. I could help the innocent with my gift. I could help lock-up the guilty. I had all the time in the world now and I surely wasn't going to waste it.
CHAPTER 5
I was released the next morning from the hospital. I had to get Sam to pick me up and take me home. We had a pleasant conversation although I could tell from his thoughts that he still wanted to be with me romantically but he now realized that would never happen. I figured things would be back to normal between us eventually.
When I got home I sat on a lawn chair outside soaking up the sun. I had a lot to think about. I knew the vampire take-over was happening tonight. I was so antsy and anxious about it I couldn't sit still. I spent most of the day crying. Crying for the baby I lost, crying because I was going to live forever, and crying because I missed Eric. I didn't want to go inside my house because I knew it was bugged. Which made me cry because Bill had betrayed me once again. I sincerely hoped that after the take over Eric would show up at my house. I fantasized about making love with him. I fantasized about him telling me he loved me and being away for the past couple of months was horrible for him. When I stopped fantasizing about him I starting worrying. Worrying something would go badly and he would be killed. Worrying that he wouldn't want me after all. Worrying that he had actually fallen in love with Fredya and decided not to kill her. Worrying that my brat behavior sunk in and he wouldn't want me anymore.
I tried to sleep that night and I couldn't. Luckily, Sam had given me the week off because he felt that I should rest. I could also read his thoughts and I knew he wanted a week without seeing me so he wouldn't have to be reminded of our miscarried baby. He wanted things to settle down between us so we could go back to being friends.
I wanted to call somebody butI had no one to call. Tara would be busy with the twins, Jason would be busy with Michelle, and Amelia.. who knows what Amelia was up to. I just didn't want her to know about Sam and the baby. I couldn't call Pam. I felt alone and I blamed myself. For once, I was going to take responsibility for my actions.
When the clock told me it was 4am I decided no vampire was coming to visit me that night and I took one Advil PM so I could fall fast asleep. I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and I saw the melted container of ice cream on the counter. I burst into tears. I was crying a lot lately. I walked over to grab a tissue and thats when I saw the red haired vampire outside my house again. I wasn't thinking very clearly because I ran out onto my back porch and started yelling "Who the hell are you and why are stalking me?!"
"My name is Creed." Mr. Cataliades had told me about Creed the night before he worked undercover as a spy for the Sophie-Anne. " What are you doing here Creed?"
"Just watching over the house." Typical vampire, he was unwilling to spell things out for me. "Why?" I asked sharply.
"Something is happening tonight and I am here to make sure no one comes after you." I realized he must have been sent in case any of the Nevada vampires decided to come after me.
"I see." I turned around and walked back into the house locking the door behind me. I wasn't sure who that vampire was for all I knew his name was Joe and he was here to kill me, which is why I didn't even offer him a true blood. Not that I had any, when Eric left for Oklahoma I smashed them all outside. Not my proudest moment but it made me feel better at the time.
Eric didn't come that night. Nor the next three nights after. I was beginning to think he didn't survive the takeover or that he just was glad to have me out of his life. I couldn't go through another night of not sleeping, just hoping he would show up. I decided to call fangtasia thirty minutes after it was dark outside.
"Hello Fangtasia, the bar with the bite." It was Pam. It was great to hear her voice. Pam sounded cheery, which made me think Eric was back.
"Pam.." "Sookie what are you doing calling here?"
"I wanted to know if Eric, uh, had returned?"
"Yes, Master came back last night and briefed us on our victory." I hated when she called him Master, it just sounded wrong. "Eric isn't here now though, he went to Bon Temps to see a barmaid."
"Eric is on his way here?" I was giddy and nervous at the same time. I also was a little hurt he didn't come to see me the night before. "Let me give you some advice, Sook, old pal, Eric practically moved heaven and earth to keep you safe, don't be a cunt."
"Pam!" I was shocked, why would she call me that? Sam thought I was a brat, Pam called me a cunt. I guess I hadn't been acting as best I could these past few months. I gently hung up the phone, I didn't really want to say anything else to Pam tonight. I felt like I just ate crow. Since I knew I would be seeing Eric soon I rushed to my bathroom and put on makeup. I pulled out a tight fitting sundress and threw it on. I didn't wear a bra because it looked better that way. I even pulled on my cowboy boots. I walked outside and sat on the two person swing just waiting.
Suddenly there was a vampire sitting next to me, but it wasn't the one I expected to see. It was one who I was very angry with. "Bill Compton the traitor." He looked sad, and turned towards me to look me in my eyes. "You must know about the bugs and about my deal with Felipe." I admitted that I knew about the bugs but not about his deal. I told him he was a lair and asked if he was a traitor during the Civil War too. "No, Sookie and you must understand why I betrayed Louisiana! At the Summit Felipe approached me he said if I pledge my alliance to him he would make sure Eric was away from you and away from Area 5." He looked at me to gauge my reaction and I motioned my hand for him to continue. "At the time you were practically being harassed by Eric. I thought it would be best for you. I only ever had your best interests at heart. I might go to the true death because of my actions but I do not regret them because I was intending to protect you." Bill always did give a good speech. I patted his hand and told him even though I didn't want him to receive the true death I wanted him to leave me alone for a little while, that is after he took out all the bugs in my house. Within a few minutes Bill was back at his house and my house was bug free.
In the twenty minutes from Pam's phone call to Eric's arrival it felt like time stood still. When I saw his red corvette pull up beside my house I couldn't wait in the swing anymore. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I leaped up and ran over to his car. He got out and I wrapped myself around him like cling wrap. I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and exclaimed "I love you Eric Northman and I never want to be without you again."
He picked me up and carried me inside my house without a word. He didn't take me to the bedroom like I was expecting. He gently placed me on the couch and sat with me. I looked at him, smiling like a fool. He was so beautiful, my Viking. His face was expressionless and I couldn't tell what he was feeling. He finally spoke and I wasn't expecting what he said. We were locked into each other's eyes and he said, "You doubted me Sookie. I told you we would win. I told you not to believe what happened in public." I nodded because he was right. I nodded because the old Sookie would have just thrown something in his face and huffed off. I realized that everything Eric had done was for me, and I seemed ungrateful.
"Eric, please understand I thought you had a choice in marrying Fredya, I thought you were giving up on us. I was insecure. I had no clue what you had planned with Sophie-Anne. When you came to see me after our divorce I was so hurt I said things…and I acted in a way I regret."
"Sookie, I have never given you a reason to be insecure. If anyone had the right to insecurity it was I. Didn't you choose Quinn over me at the Summit? Didn't you break our blood bond without consulting me? Didn't you send me away every time things got tough? Didn't you choose to use the cluviel dor on Sam instead of me? I am sorry I couldn't include you in the plan with Sophie-Anne, I hated keeping it from you but it was the only way." I was having a hard time concentrating on what Eric was saying because when he moved his lips all I wanted to do was kiss him.
"Eric you are right. I am sorry." I said those words slowly and strongly so he knew I meant them.
"You know, if we still had our blood-bond you may have been able to figure out I had a plan. We could have avoided a lot of pain."
"Eric, do you still want me? I actually miss our blood bond. And since you have been gone I realized my actions haven't always been mature and I was always so busy worrying you would leave me that I pushed you away."
"Of course, I still want you Sookie Stackhouse. I just killed my wife and took over another state in an effort to be with you again." A fangy grin appeared on his face and he pulled me close to him. I felt safe in his arms, he tilted his head and kissed me. No kiss could compare to what it felt like having Eric back. He pulled away and looked at me. "I just want to lay naked with you, drinking your body in, exploring every part of you that I have missed." I thought that sounded like a great plan I smiled and stood up grabbing Eric's hand in an attempt to take him to the bedroom. He pulled me close to him and slide off the couch onto the ground he positioned himself with one knee on the floor. My mouth dropped open. Was Eric really proposing to me? Like a regular human?
"Sookie Stackhouse, you have brought me so much joy and happiness I would be honored if you would be my wife." He opened a box and I saw a incredibly huge diamond ring. "I will never turn you into a vampire and I will be faithful to you always. I will love you when your hair has turned silver and you face has wrinkled.I will love you forever."
"Eric, are you sure you could love me forever?"
"Yes."
"Forever is a long time Eric but if you are sure you can love me forever than nothing would make me happier than to be your wife." I paused and took his hand and ran my other hand through his beautiful blonde hair, "But you should know Eric, my hair isn't going to turn silver" He smirked and replied,"Oh you are going to dye it the same color as mine when you are old?" "No Eric I am never going to be old." "Who are you Peter Pan, never want to grow up Sookie?"
"Eric I am trying to tell you I am going to live forever! The Cluviel Dor had a life preserving effect on Sam and I. I won't age." Eric's face turned serious and I saw one bloody tear drop from his eye. "Being able to spend forever with you is more than I deserve and I won't waste a single second of it." Eric slipped the diamond ring onto my ring finger and carried me off to the bedroom. He made me very happy several times that night.