Gone, an outsiders fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own it, people.

Rating: T

Summary: What really happened between Sylvia and Dally? Why would she cheat on him in the first place? Was she really the liar that Dally saw in the end? Or was it his fault to begin with . . .?

Author Notes: This is the first time I'm attempting a story in Sylvia's POV. There are always two sides to one story, and this is for all those Sylvia haters out there, because obviously, it wasn't all her fault for cheating on Dally.

This story's inspired by Kelly Clarkson's song, "Gone". Anyway, enjoy!

Gone

"So . . . you're going . . .?"

"Yeah . . . I'll see you."

". . . See you . . ."

I turned my back on him, looking at the ground. I didn't wanna look at him. Because I knew that if I did, I'd feel sorry for him, and I'd probably melt inside again, and become the idiot who fell for the toughest greaser on the West Side. I didn't want to be that anymore. It was just screwed up.

Today, I didn't even want to kiss him goodbye or anything. The truth was that I was kind of crazy over him. I have a fucking soft spot for the guy. But then he took advantage of that whole thing, knowing that I'd more than likely fall back in "love" with him once he comes back from prison or something.

I knew he didn't care.

I knew that he didn't give a damn about me. I always knew in the back of my mind that I'd lose him, because he didn't really love me. I secretly dreaded that day, because whenever I look at him, I just . . . lose it . . .

What you see's not what you get
With you there's just no measurement
No way to tell what's real from what isn't there
Your eyes they sparkle
That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain
You washed away the best of me
You don't care

"Hey, what's up with you today?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Gulping, I tried to keep my calm. 'Don't lose it, Sylvia, don't' lose it,' I told myself. My heart was practically pounding. I still couldn't get why I felt this way. I just wanted to kill Dally for doing this to me, but I guess it wasn't his fault.

Looking over my shoulder at him, I gave the most realistic smile I could muster. Even though it looked like I was evil through my make-up, I didn't care. He knew I was lying.

"What do you mean?" I asked, pretending to be perfectly fine.

He shrugged. "I'll see you when I get out, alright?"

I nodded. "Okay."

And with that, he turned away . . . taking his hand from my shoulder. I felt cold again. Alone.

I watched him leave. That's what he always does. He leaves. And I just watch him do it like a damned sorry idiot who wanted him back. I didn't want to be like Evie, who cried when Steve got dragged in. I ain't stupid, believe it or not.

I growled, turning the opposite way. 'I don't want him . . .' I told myself, even though I really did. He just had that way of driving me crazy like that. I really . . . well . . . liked him, but I just wanted to kill him sometimes. I just can't fucking take it anymore.

"I hate you," I mumbled over my shoulder, glaring at him. He didn't hear me of course, but I half wished that he did.

You know you did it, I'm gone
To find someone to live for in this world
There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight,
Just a bridge that I gotta burn
You are wrong
If you think you can walk right through my door
That is just so you
Coming back when I've finally moved on
I'm already gone

I just needed something. Anything. I didn't want to feel so bad anymore. But mostly, I wanted to get back at Dallas Winston. It was his fault. It was all his fucking fault. He drove me crazy.

Crazier than any guy could.

So crazy that it was sick. Sure, I could hide it, but he just didn't care. He knew that I'd still be crazy over him even when he was in the cooler, but I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to hurt him back.

Badly.

I looked back over my shoulder to see that he was no longer there. I felt so empty. He knew I did whenever he left like that. I wanted to be away from him, but I didn't. I fucking need him, and he knows that! That sick bastard.

I didn't notice that I was crying, and that my mascara was running down my face. There were also a few black spots on my shirt. I was breathing pretty heavily, but I didn't care. I wished that Dally was there, so that he could see how much damage he'd dealt. But he wasn't there.

He never was!

"Get over him, Sylvia . . ." I clenched my hand into a fist. I tried to get it into my head. It ends today. "We're through, Dallas," I murmured. People must've thought that I was crazy, because I was muttering to myself. But I was crazy.

Crazy over that asshole.

Sometimes shattered, never open
Nothing matters when you're broken
That was me whenever I was with you
Always ending, always over
Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster
I am breaking that habit
Today

But what was I going to do? I looked around at the empty streets. This was greaser territory. Our houses were all screwed up, just like our damned lives. I tried to focus on a plan, but my thoughts kept drifting back to Dally. I needed him, but I sure as hell didn't want him anymore . . . or did I?

I looked down at the ring that he gave me. He'd rolled it off some Soc. As long as I wore it, I always managed to think of him. Maybe that was it. I took it off, looking at it closely. Drawing my hand back, I was ready to throw it into God knows where, but I didn't.

'Just throw it, Sylvia,' I told myself, but I couldn't bring myself to. It found its way back to my finger somehow, and I started crying again.

Shit, I hate crying.

It made my eyes all red, and made my make-up run like hell. I sniffed, trying to fight back tears. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to hate him, but I was just . . . missing him.

That's what Dally wanted. He wanted me to miss him. I clenched my fist again, leaning against a nearby wall. I tried to wipe the make-up off my face. I probably looked really screwed up at the time, because some people who passed by actually looked at me. But I didn't care. They can look all they want. It just showed how fucking screwed up that Dallas Winston was.

"Damn it . . ." I slid down the wall, now sitting on the ground. "Fuck you, Dally . . ." was all I could manage to get out. I was though with him. Fucking through with him!

I got up, and then trudged home. There was no one there, as usual. The house was all to me once again. Plopping down onto the couch, I buried my face into a pillow, getting mascara all over it. "DAMMIT!" I yelled, pounding the couch with my legs. I lay there for a while, until I finally dragged myself to the bathroom.

There, I washed up and put on more make-up. I guess my make-up was kind of like a mask, because it kind of hid how damned miserable I was. Maybe that's why so many greaser girls put on so much make-up and giggle so much. We did it to hide. I stared at myself in the shattered mirror. I was a coward.

A damn coward.

And I hated it. The sun burned my eyes as I got outside, and it was kind of hard for me to try to look at least a little happy. I didn't know what everyone else expected. I should be looking sad, because my "boyfriend" was in jail. Well, screw that. Screw him, for all I care!

I looked pretty . . . well, dark. I think I put a little too much make-up. But who cares? There's no one in the whole neighborhood who gave a damn about me. I turned the corner and peeked into the lot.

Bingo.

I looked around at the people there. By himself, there was Dally's pet. What was his name?

Oh, yeah. Johnny.

A small smile crossed my lips. It was payback time.

There is nothing you can say
Sorry doesn't cut it, babe
Take the hint and walk away
'Cause I'm gone
Doesn't matter what you do
It's what you did that's hurting you
All I needed was the truth
Now I'm gone

First Johnny, then some other idiot. Whoever I could find. I only had one thing in mind: To make Dally pay. I really wanted to hurt him, just like he hurt me.

"Hey," I said as seductively as I could.

"Uh . . . hi."

That was the beginning.

The beginning of the end.

Author Notes: Whoo. I hope you enjoyed my little segment here about Sylvia. So there you go. It's weird, because I talked a whole lot of smack about my favorite character, Dally. Wow. XD;

Anyway, review. REVEW NOW!