okay, so this may totally stink, but i loved this song and it really makes me think of Dean...so i wrote it...please be kind!! tag to Playthings. Song: All that I Am, by Rob Thomas

I Breathe So You Breathe

Dean slid behind the wheel of the Impala, turned on the music, fully expecting to hear Metallica. He closed his eyes and leaned against the worn leather seat, waiting for the music to cue.

I need you to watch out for me. And if I ever turn into something I'm not . . . you have to kill me.

Promise.

I promise.

Two simple words uttered to a drunk man was now a death sentence for both of them. "I can't kill you, Sammy — I've given my whole life to protect you and now you ask me to be your executioner."

Dean's heart screamed for release. His soul burned to forget. Pain so wretchedly raw tore at his insides and left him shattered and hollow. Tears stung at his eyes. Tears he refused to shed. Why Sammy? Why would you do that to me?

His eyes fluttered open, hearing an unfamiliar song. Hand on the dial ready to turn the channel, Dean hesitated, listening to the words. Lyrics that could've been written just for him.

I am the one winged bird for flying

Sinking quickly to the ground

See your faith in me subsiding

See you prime for giving in

I give you all that I am

He glanced up at the window of the inn, sheer white curtains drawn tight. Sam slept peacefully, secure in the knowledge of the promise Dean had made, secure in the knowledge his brother would kill him. When did you lose faith in me, Sammy? Or didn't you ever really have any? I would die for you . . . kill for you . . . but you can't ask me to take your life. You just can't — I won't do it . . . I won't.

I am the white dove for a soldier

Ever marching as to war

I would give my life to save you

I stand guarding at you door

I give you all that I am

Always the good little soldier doing everything I'm told. Hell, if I was a real soldier, I would have so many purple hearts right now, they would never fit across my chest. But they don't give medals for fighting evil and they certainly don't give awards for murder.

Dean cracked open a beer and quickly drank it down, his empty stomach protesting. He twisted off the cap of another and took a long slow swig of the drink, then swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. How much alcohol does it take to ask a person to kill you? To ask and really mean it? And how much more will it take to forget that promise?

"Why can't you see that I'm gonna save you, Sammy? Why can't you have a little more faith in me?"

I am the one winged bird for flying

Sinking quickly to the ground

I am the blind man for a watchdog

I am prime for giving in

I'll show you all that I am

Everyday I watch over you. My first thought every goddamn day is how to protect you . . . how to keep you safe. If I can't do that then I'm nothing. It's all that I am — all that I've ever been.

"I'll die first before I raise a hand to harm you, Sammy." Dean brushed away a stray tear, trailing down his cheek. "You can't give up on me. You have to believe I can save you . . . cause this is one promise I don't intend to keep."

And I breathe so you breathe

Let me stand so you'll stand

With all that I am