Chapter 1 :; Hidden Feelings •

I cursed under my breath, pulling the bandage around my right wrist tighter with my teeth once again. "God damnit." I can't believe I let that fucker get a piece of me. If my dumbass would've actually been paying attention, then I wouldn't have to mess with this shit. A small smile formed on my lips, a small giggle slipping through them. My mind went back to when we were still with Henry and Sam. Joel told me then not to mess with stray dogs, who knows what they could do or have. But, being the genius and carefree teenager I am; I tested my luck to no avail. Stupid hound bit my wrist when I reached out to pet him. I'd felt sick ever since then, though it's only been about three days. Either way Joel completely lost his shit when I told him what happened, who woulda guessed that would happen, but he gave me some shot. Seemed to clear it up and I felt better the next morning. Now the bitch just hurts. I sighed and zipped my backpack back up, swinging the small rabbit I had managed to kill over my shoulder. Im 17 now. Well, barely. My birthday was yesterday, but either way I'm 17. It's been three years since I was first made a simple drop-off. Things were... Different. After Joel took us back to Tommy's we stayed for awhile, but things just didn't feel right. To my surprise Joel agreed, and he decided we'd be better off going on our own. I didn't mind, to tell the truth I enjoy it being just me and him. He took us back to where his journey first started, Texas. We found a small log cabin out in the country that was abandoned. It may be small, but it's enough. All the infected are gone, they all eventually just kind of.. Died off. The few people that were left got smart and just killed them off. Once people stopped getting infected and those already consumed by it died off. Things calmed down. Hunters are still around though, still being complete assholes. The world is still shit, but it was pretty shit when things were considered normal. We don't get bothered much out here though. Everybody really just does as they please though, the only downside to it all. The government never reestablished itself, so people never felt the need to listen to reason anymore. Small towns are starting to pop up again though, small stores, and families. Long as there lucky enough for bandits or hunters to not ruin their paradise. It's crazy really.. How everything happened. When I met Joel I just thought he was some grumpy old asshole, now I love him more than anything or anyone else in the world. I smiled as the memories filled my mind, walking along the small path hidden within the dense forest. It's so nice to not have to hear the clicking anymore, the screaming. Now I hear the pitter patter of little feet, a bird chirping, or even the leaves crunching beneath my feet. I guess you could call it.. Peaceful. Even though it's probably the farthest thing from that. It's enough for me though. Enough for us. Us. The word echoed in my mind. I shook my head. I had begun to notice changes in myself recently, especially when I was around Joel. He makes me happy, but now he makes me really happy. Every-time I even think about him I can feel my cheeks turning red, and my entire body getting hott. Not to mention when I'm actually around him. I never used to dream until about 2 months ago. Now I have the same damn dream every night.

I come home hott and sweaty. Panting from all the running, but I never remember what or whom I was running from. I fall to my knees and burst into tears, cursing God for even creating me. Then he rushes down the stairs and embraces me. The way he always does, but it means so much more. His body is so warm and inviting, his breath hott on my neck. "It's okay baby girl. Im here.. Im here." I manage a smile through the tears he wipes from my eyes. He tells me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him. It makes me so happy to hear him say it, "I love you." I say it back and he presses his lips against mine.

Then I wake up. Every time. Every night. Then I wake up.

It scares me. The thought of loosing him. The thought of one day being by myself. Im so scared.. Of ending up alone. He always says he'll never leave me, that he'll always be here for me, but I know he can't control that. I still hold onto it though. A bad habit I guess. It's the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes though.

A shrill howl breaks me from my thoughts, drawing me back to reality. The sky's natural light blue tint is beginning to fade to a darker tone. "Shit." I pick up my pace, i told him I would make him dinner tonight before our lesson. Forcing my feet to move faster beneath me, I find the smile returning to my lips once again.

I wish I could tell him.

I wish I could.

Tell him.

That I love him.