title: the city in the dark and the little boy who lived there
summary: he lived
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he blows the smoke through his fingers, death breathing in, death breathing out. rising up and down.
"stop that, asai yusei" she says, "that'll kill you someday"
he just shrugs through the thin black fabric of his shirt. "that's good"
minako. his love, her lovely. she can't do anything, not even her,
the artists find ways to escape and no one can stop them, not even death
she just stares then, covered in bedsheets and eyes filled with spiraling blankness and some sort of fear
"that's good" he says again and
she can't tell if he's talking about her or him.
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he lights the cigarette and blows the smoke through his fingers in that comfortable way
"stop that" kizuna scowls. "you'll die"
he shrugs "that's good"
kizuna. girl like an explosion, like a dying star, like life. she is reminded of a man given up, she reminds him of giving up.
she just stares at him then, bare and eyes filled with some sort of emotion, he doesn't know but it's not fear
minako flashes before his eyes, lovely and lovely in death
"that's good" he says again
this time, he is not sure
not sure if he's talking about himself or minako's replacement
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"are you afraid to die?" she asks like she's expecting something
looks at his lips like she thinks the answer will be perching there
he doesn't answer
never does, you know
artists, so mysterious, always, always
she parts her lips like she's about to ask again
but they close and she doesn't
he doesn't answer
he never answers
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"what's your biggest regret in life?" kizuna asks curiously eyes wide like a doe
he notices always notices
wider than hers, larger than hers, eyelashes longer, pupils darker
more earthly
minako was a heaven thing, here one moment, gone the next
until God took her like that
what's his biggest regret he wonders himself
he thinks about it and almost answers
"im not afraid to die"
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"why would you say that"
she looks at him, not afraid
not afraid of him, perhaps something else
vaguely he thinks "what's scarier"
and he knows exactly what it is
for her it's always looming on the horizon, it is her fate,
she sees it coming before it hits her and she is afraid.
"i don't know"
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"what's this"
she never calls him by his name, she always did
like asai yusei asai yusei never ending for infinity until infinity ended
"it's a boy"
she cocks her head to one side, bedsheets pooling
"yes, i can see that"
only she can't, only he can and only minako could (could) see that
boy standing there alone until the sun came up and joined him
that was the two of them
doesn't understand, she doesn't understand
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"paint a boy asai yusei" she said, eyes striking
unearthly again
he ponders why as he sucks death in through his mouth
the city that rises with the sun shines behind her (city that she'll never see)
brighter than her
but she is brighter than it
the radiance nearly kills him, more than the cancer stick dangling between his lips
so yeah, he decides
"yeah, i'll draw a boy"
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"what's his name?" kizuna asks
she's so curious all the time
"mikey chuck" he smiles
last thing that can still bring a smile to his lips
besides the death that hangs between them
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"what's his name" he asks her
the odd boy in the baseball cap
stands out in a different way than him
but some days they are the same
him and him
she ponders, last few things that
she can decide on her own anymore
that fear
that fear taking her over –
"mikey chuck" she smiles
he remembers that smile haunts him taunts him
before its gone
he doesn't remember if it was just that moment where it disappeared, or if it meant forever
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"where're we going" kizuna demands
some days he just isn't in the mood doesn't answer doesn't want to
he doesn't wanna do this anyways you know
but he needs money needs it desperately
needs it more than when he was minako just a young artist
its not even to escape, his art isn't
now it's just to live
keep on living, even though he doesn't know why he does
he walks into the gallery, kizuna stops
"you're gonna showcase your art?" she asks, incredulous
he doesn't answer, just nods
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"are you ever gonna do a big showing" says minako
no, he nods
whats the point if the most important person cant even see it
"i am showcasing it" he gestures around the room
"and its just for you"
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even death cant see in the dark, is what kizuna thinks
he's a mystery, that man
she cant tell if that's why he sometimes turns off the light
or if its why he keeps the lights on
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"its so dark in here, asai yusei turn on the lights"
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"why don't you turn off the lights" she breathes into his ear, lighter than the clothes on her back
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there are no clothes on her back
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there are no clothes on her back
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the light is turned on but she isn't there anymore
lost her in the dark, he thinks
i lost her. i lost
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her
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he turns off the lights
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fin