Now You're In The World
by She's a Star
Disclaimer: Moulin Rouge belongs to Bazzie. :)
A/N: Goodness...where in the world did I dream this up? It's definitely odd, and...I don't know. :S I have very mixed feelings about this fic. You guys really must tell me what you think. Anyway, this is my (horrible) take on what would have happened if Satine had left Christian after telling him that she couldn't fall in love, and the ELM hadn't happened. So, in short, they never really grew close...all rightie then, with that said: on with the show!
~*~
When the red curtain closed on opening night, Satine knew that it was not only marking the end of the show.
No, it also announced the end for her.
As soon as the thick velvet fabric swung closed from either side, the Argentinean broke out of their embrace and rushed over to the can-can girls, who all immediately enveloped him into hugs. Their shrieks of joy rung in Satine's ears, and she wrapped her arms around her shoulders.
It was cold.
So cold.
No one rushed forward to congratulate her, to throw their arms around her and exclaim in delight that the show had been perfect.
She was alone.
Blinking back tears, her eyes fell upon Harold, who had a hysterically laughing Marie wrapped in his arms.
"I've never known completeness," she sang in a weak, barely audible whisper to herself.
And now she was dying.
Dying, without ever truly having anyone care for her.
It surely wouldn't be a loss-no one even spoke to her now. Not a single soul would probably shed a tear after her death.
She wasn't worth anyone's grief, after all.
A soft, sweet memory of a voice played itself through her mind.
'My gift is my song...'
A sad, bittersweet smile danced across the corners of Satine's lips as she eyed the writer, who was standing with Toulouse. She'd come so close, so very close to falling in love with him. Now, more than anything, she wished she'd just let herself. But she'd left after her proclamation that she could never fall in love, and while Christian had attempted to persuade her a few times more, he'd finally given up.
She supposed everyone gave up on her in time.
'And this one's for you...'
Stop it! Satine ordered her mind angrily. She couldn't take it...not when she felt so alone, so weak already.
Death, why don't you just come and take me? She screamed mentally. Just save me from this hell! No one will care. Just take me. I won't struggle, I won't put up a fight. I'll be a good girl and come with you. Just take me!
As though her pleas had been heard from some force, that awful burning deep inside her chest began again. A few sputtering coughs escaped her lips, causing a few people to look over momentarily before turning back.
It was no secret that she was dying. They'd learned quite a while ago, embraced the fact. They'd grown used to all of her hacking and gacking...they probably wouldn't even notice she was dead 'till they tripped over her corpse.
The cough grew louder, and Satine automatically put a hand to her mouth. When she removed it, it was covered in blood. She shuddered as weakness overtook her, causing her to fall to the floor.
"Satine!"
The sound of someone shouting out her name barely registered in her mind. As a matter of fact, she wasn't even sure if it was happening or if she was just imagining it.
"Satine! Satine, are you all right?"
And then there was someone next to her, wrapping their arms around her. Her vision cleared to focus on Christian, who watched her nervously.
"Satine, what's wrong?"
"I..." It hurt to talk, but she forced the words out bitterly. "I'm dying. Didn't you know that? Everyone knows...no one seems to care much."
"What?!" the young writer asked, looking as though his world had just been torn apart. "No! No, you can't be...I.....no, this can't be real!"
He caressed her cheek with one hand, his lightly callused fingers barely brushing across her skin. The feeling sent a million little tingles through her, the weakest burst of energy.
"Somebody get some help!" Christian shouted desperately before turning back to her. "Satine, just hang on...you're going to be all right..."
Though she could feel her life slowly slipping out of her grasp, she worked up the energy to ask hoarsely, "Why do you care?"
He looked down at her in a mixture of surprise, devastation, and affection and brushed a lock of red hair out of her face tenderly.
"Because I love you," he whispered, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears.
"What?" Satine asked weakly. "How...how can you love me? We've never spoken, since the first night you came here, and I rejected you so cruelly, and-"
"Shhh," he interrupted her with a bittersweet smile, putting a finger to her blood-stained lips. "Don't waste your energy. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you, and..."
A single tear slid down his cheek and splashed onto Satine's own, and she felt as though someone had just ripped her heart in two. Was this really happening? Did Christian, sweet Christian, actually love her?? As he'd sung to her that night so long ago, it had certainly seemed that way...but she'd expected that he'd move on! After all, someone as sweet and kind and perfect and talented as himself didn't deserve to be stuck with a whore. He deserved so much better.
"You can't love me," she argued, staring up into his eyes.
"It's a little too late for that," he said, attempting a happy smile and failing miserably.
"But..." Satine felt hot tears stinging her eyes, "You deserve so much better."
"There is no one better."
"Oh, Christian," she sighed, her voice barely over a whisper. She couldn't leave him...not now. How could she plead for death, when she would be leaving behind the one person who had ever truly cared for her?
Don't take me yet, she begged silently. Please, Death, don't take me...I can't leave him...not now, not yet.
"How wonderful life is," he sang softly, tears running down his cheeks.
"Now you're in the world," Satine finished with him, her voice weak and tired. The life seemed to be draining from her at a frightening rate, and she clung to Christian as though he stood for life itself.
Which, suddenly, he did.
Satine had never truly loved anyone before in her life, with the exception of Harold and Marie. And now somehow, she knew that she loved him. It was insane, really-she'd considered herself completely alone in the world mere minutes ago, and now she was struggling to survive so she could be with a man.
"I'm so sorry, Christian," she whispered. "I'm so, so sorry...I'm leaving, I'm dying, I'm so cold..."
Christian held her closer, his tears raining down onto her face.
"Don't leave me this way," he sang softly. "I can't survive without your sweet love...oh baby, don't leave me this way."
"I..." the world seemed to spin around her, and she couldn't even focus on Christian's face any longer. "I love you."
It was the first time the words had ever escaped her lips, and Satine was glad. He deserved her only I love you...he was the only one who truly loved her.
"Don't leave me," she heard Christian's voice beg in heartbroken desperation. "Satine, darling, please don't leave me...I need you."
She tried with all her might to reply something, anything, but found it impossible to work up the strength. Even keeping her eyes open seemed too difficult, and she slowly let them close, turning the swirl of colors she'd seen seconds ago to darkness.
"Satine..." Christian cried her name softly, over and over. "Satine...Satine, I love you..."
Summoning up all the force she still possessed, she searched blindly on the floor for his hand. Once she found it, she entwined her fingers with his own. She heard a broken sob escape his lips at her gesture, and his song filled her mind again as she felt her spirit slowly leave her body.
'How wonderful life is...
Now you're in the world...'