HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAKURA AND HANABI! Have fun being 22 and 19!

I made them both a year younger. c: Enjoy. Sorry 'bout the shortness.

I frowned, staring at the calendar in disgust. Big, red X's covered the numbers, all leading up to today's date. I grimaced. March twenty-eight? Eight? Are you serious? I would've smacked my fists against the wall if I hadn't already done it and suffered the painful consequences. I rubbed my throbbing knuckles and stuck my tongue out at the calendar. You're so off my Myspace top 20.

I turned around and flopped back onto the bed. I couldn't believe it. I'd slept through my birthday.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to call someone for comfort, then kick them out of my room in a rage. I wanted to hit someone. Specifically a pink-haired someone.

Unfortunately, when the door opened, I wasn't staring into the jade eyes of my new mortal enemy, but, instead, I was staring into the shy, pearly eyes of my sister. I frowned, pouting.

"Hanabi, you're awake!" Hinata smiled, walking into my room and closing the door silently behind her. She quickly danced up to my bed, walking on her toes. "I'm so glad! You were out for such a long time!"

I didn't change my expression.

Hinata pressed her pale, delicate hand against my forehead. I shook it off, my pout turning into a scowl. Hinata didn't react, her stupid smile still plastered on her face, unwavering. "Do you remember what happened?"

I felt like hitting her right then. I felt like shouting in her face, making her scared and shy again, to scare her. I wanted her to just leave me alone. But, then again, I didn't want her to leave. I felt like crying and hugging her. I wanted her to comfort me. I didn't know what to do, so I just frowned.

"Hanabi?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I didn't want to speak.

Finally, Hinata, that dumb, ditzy dunce of a sister, understood. She stood up, straightening herself. Her smile was gone. "I guess you want to be alone, huh? Since you slept through all of yesterday?"

I frowned.

Hinata nodded her head, then quickly and noiselessly walked out of my room. I threw a pillow at the door once it was shut behind her.

I couldn't believe it. I threw myself onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Tears came to my eyes. I'd slept through my birthday. My fucking eighteenth birthday. I was going to be legal, to finally be able to have sex! Konohamaru had so much planned out for me! We were gonna go out, have fun, go to a party… The tears rolled down my cheek.

But, that stupid car accident.

That stupid drunk.

That dumbass.

That douchebag who hit my car.

He fucking put me in a fucking coma, and I slept through my birthday. My fucking eighteenth birthday!

I'm gonna kill him.

I'm gonna slaughter him.

His new-borns are mine. All mine.

Now, it's that bitch's birthday. Sa-ku-ra. Slut. She's turning twenty-one, if I remember. Dammit She's not in a coma. She can have a fun time, being completely legal. Probably chugging down a few beers right down. Probably livin' it up with her Kazekage boyfriend. Whore.

I'ma kill her.

Forget the douche. Her new-borns are mine.

I rolled over onto my stomach. It's so late. Probably eight p.m. Even if I did wake up a few hours earlier, I'd still've missed my birthday. I wanted to cry some more. I bit my other pillow, holding back a scream.

That slut. That bitch. Cunt. Whore. Fucker. She's livin' the life, partying on her twenty-first birthday, getting drunk and having sex. And here I am, crying because I missed my own birthday. Because of a car accident. And it wasn't even my fault! I was following the rules! That despicable, retch-inducing, mother-fucking son of a bitch ran a red light!

Fuck it, I get his new-borns!

I was gonna cry. I was crying. I let go of the pillow and shouted as loud as I could. I unleashed all of the built –up anger in my chest and let it rip. I was screaming before I knew it and stayed at that pitch until my voice starting cracking and faltering from low oxygen intake. I took a deep breath and screamed again. The tears were flowing relentlessly now. I almost smiled, imagining how horrible I must've looked and how much Konohamaru would've been shocked to see me like this.

I was a mess.

A crying, screaming, red-faced, beaten-up, scarred and pissed mess. I started laughing in-between screams.

Great.

Now I was a crying, screaming, red-faced, beaten-up, scarred, pissed and laughing mess. I couldn't stop laughing, and, soon, I stopped screaming, giving into my hysterical laughter. More tears came, but it was probably from laughing so hard.

I buried my face into my pillow and waited for the stream of worried servants to begin pouring in. My laughter wouldn't—no—couldn't stop. My sides ached. I suddenly felt sleepy.

I rolled over onto my back, my laughter finally starting to slow down. I laid there, ignoring the worried knocks and frantic shouts from behind my door, waiting for my laughter to slow and stop. After a long while—it must've been long, because the shouts and knocks finally stopped—my insane cackle slowed down into giggles, with hiccups in-between. I felt a little high. I should do that more.

I stared at the ceiling, thinking. Sakura's probably so happy right now. Konohamaru's probably so worried. Hinata was probably one of those worried knocks, if she hadn't left for Sakura's bash by now. I didn't even want to think about everyone else.

I frowned. Sakura. Slut. They even start with an "s"! It's a perfect match. Congratulations, it is your child. Have a nice day now! Come back soon, Miss Haruno.

The giggles sped up a little. Come back soon, slut! Slutkura. Sakulut. Whore. A laugh tore its way through my lips and into the air.

I rolled over onto my side. Forget taking her new-borns. No one'd know who the father was. Slut. Whore. I laughed again. And, besides, that douche probably had demented babies, anyway. Taking people's new-borns wasn't exactly the best idea I've had.

I smiled a little. I felt better now. Sure, I was still pissed at Sakulut for having a bash while I stayed here, hiccupping like mad, but, hey. I'd call Konohamaru up tomorrow and seduce him like there's no tomorrow. He and I would win.

Plus, she keeps her new-borns.